Trying to conceive getting me down :(

[DottieUncBab]

We’ve been TTC for 6 months now and nothing. I am 29, husband 33.

2 months in we paid privately for a “fertility MOT” just because I’d rather know now and not two years down the line and he said everything was fine and he’d expect us to get pregnant within two years, but I just can’t deal with the upset each month I’m not pregnant.

My friends all seem to be getting pregnant one within a month and the other four months so I just feel in some way left behind and that it may not happen for us.

I’ve just started tracking my ovulation with the Clear Blue monitor, prior to that I just used an app but I’m just starting to feel down about it.

I think the thing that makes it most difficult is from a young age it’s drummed into you not to have unprotected sex etc. or you’ll get pregnant blah blah blah but no where does it prepare you for the fact that TTC can take a while. I naively thought it would just happen after one time because hey that’s what they teach you at school.

I just wondered if anyone had any tips on how they fell pregnant? Or tips on what they’re doing now to try get pregnant?

I am trying to eat healthily and exercise etc. do all the usual stuff that is recommended.

I heard that stress can be a bit factor so me getting stressed about not being pregnant probably isn’t helping but I don’t know how to distress about it :(

Aww don’t lose hope @DottieUncBab. DH and I are a fair bit older than you, but have a similar tale.

We thought we were trying during the first 6mths, but it wasn’t until we bought our Clearblue monitor that we realised we’d been missing the mark most months. We fell pregnant the first month using the monitor though sadly had an early miscarriage. Everyone said you’re more fertile after a miscarriage, but 3 months later with nothing sticking I was beginning to lose hope. We ended up buying pre-seed lubricant and fell pregnant the following month. I’m now 37wks and looking forward to welcoming our little girl in the new year!

The good news is your fertility MOT showed no issues, so it will happen, it just takes a bit longer than sex ed classes taught us as a teenager!

I was in the same boat before I conceived DS. I read up on the SMEP method and conceived second cycle trying that. Also used some conceive plus lube.

Took us a very long time, even with the CBFM. Which didn't make any difference, I gave up using it after a year. I resigned myself (after 10 years of trying) it wasn't to be. I tried all sorts. Read everything i could etc. I came to peace with it. Then several years later, out the blue found out I was 8 weeks pregnant.

It's a horrible lonely place to be, especially when everyone around you is seemingly getting pregnant at the drop of the hat. The reality is there'll be many more women in the same boat as you... it's just not talked about.

Hang in there.

Don't lose hope, OP. I'm sure I read somewhere that even if you have sex during the ovulation, there's only a 20% chance of conception (the figure might be out, but it was lower than I'd expected).

It took DP and me 7 months to conceive, and funnily enough, it happened the month where I'd told myself it wouldn't happen and we didn't actively try. Our DS had an operation on what should have been my ovulation day and we were in hospital again the day after with him, so didn't DTD then. I worked out the only possible day it could have happened was two days before DS's operation so I either ovulated early or DP's sperm stayed alive! But yeh, we hadn't planned sex like we normally would have, just accepted we had too much on that week to focus on it so we'd try next month. I was so sure it wouldn't have happened that I didn't even do a test until 3 weeks after my missed period because I just thought it was my irregular period knocked out again due to the stress of DS's recovery.

Sometimes it can happen at the most unexpected time, or it'll happen after continued persistence and will feel like the greatest blessing once it happens.

Hang in there ❤️

Thank you all your comments have all been so lovely to read and I feel that little bit more hopeful it will happen.

I’ve never heard of the SMEP method but having given it a quick google may try :)

yep, stress or focusing too much might be an issues, and some docs name this psychological infertility. Stay positive as this brings you results you desire. A few friends of mine got pregnant within 2 and about 4 years, it sometimes takes time. Warriors never give up! Fingers crossed.

6 months isn't really a lot of time at all. I expected to get pregnant quickly too and u start get worried if u don't so I totally get it. I decided we wouldn't do anything until at least a year had passed and then we wld go see the gp. Try not to get too worked up about it as that doesn't help it actually does the opposite your body needs to relax.

It took 10 months to get pregnant with our first and 2 months for the second so my gap was a bit closer together than I had anticipated.

We dtd every other day last few months I was trying to get pregnant with number 1 and straight away with number 2 when we got pregnant really quickly. This meant we def wouldn't miss ovulation which I think was the problem initially as I didn't do ovulation sticks for first 6 months and my cycles were all over the place anything from 28-53 days so ovulation was at different points.

Good luck I'm sure it will happen for you!