Will delaying 3 months ttc make a difference

[LeaLeek]

Hi, me and my partner are ready to ttc, am 36 no kids. However I have my best friends hen dos both abroad in Feb and sisters in March, am maid of honor for both. Lots of drinking games, spa days, activities planned etc. Missing either is not an option but I really want to ttc ASAP to get the ball rolling, partner doesn't agree says to wait until March otherwise i'll be stressed. I also don't want questions raised if I dont drink or get involved with certain activities. But I cant help but think delaying by 3 months will reduce my chances or am I being stupid. Also not yet started on taking folic acid.

Thanks x

Personally at 36 I would start now. You hve no idea how things will go and a hen do can be attended even if you don't drink!

it could take one month it could take years, thats the frustrating part so if you are ready, start now

Well, it will in that you, obviously, will have lost another three months and at 36, time is somewhat of the essence, but you both need to be on board. I suppose it would give you time to start taking folic acid properly, is there a reason you haven’t already?
Honestly, chances are it won’t happen for you in the first three months so you’re probably worrying about nothing re disruption of plans etc.
Best of luck, for when you do start ttc.

Well taking folic acid is a must. Don't ttc before then.. Not at 36 anyway!!

Thank you. Am just worried if I do get pregnant without knowing and end up drinking but then am worried it will look obvious if u refuse drink and there will be lots of people at both hens I'd rather not know am ttc.

I've not started the folic as didn't realise to take to be honest and we had alot going with moving, new job etc.
How many months is advisable to take before ttc?

Problem is time is of the essence. You are 36. Entirely your choice but I would certainly not be waiting. What is more important a drunken weekend or a baby? What next put it off until after the wedding.
Your life changes after a baby and your social life is not on the back burner you have to start accepting that your whole way of life changes.

You can't predict how long TTC might take.

If, many months later you are still TTC, how would you feel then, knowing you could have had those extra 3 months to try?

I had DC1 aged 36, took a long while to TTC and suffered MC too. I wish I'd started earlier.

Started TTC #2 when DC1 was 11m. Took even longer and suffered many more MC. Again, I wish I'd started TTC DC1 earlier so could have started TTC #2 earlier too. Hindsight is a wonderful thing now though.

I'd start taking folic acid now.

I wouldn’t wait, you have no idea how long (or if) you’ll get pregnant, I wouldn’t wait at all.

Worrying about not being able to drink isn’t a good reason imo.

If you’re not 100% ready then wait, those 3 months won’t magically make a difference really - you’ll typically either be fine and conceive no problem, or you’ll struggle. Those will be the outcomes whether you start now or in 3 months.

In the grand scheme of things, I don’t think those 3 extra chances would change anything. Have you looked at ovulation dates? Is it even 3 chances or just 2?

Yeah I really want to ttc but partner doesnt think its practical. I don't want to be in a position where its obvious am tcc and there are alot of friends and families at these hens I don't want to know but and soon as they clock on il have alot of pressure I could do without. I know it sounds petty but I dont want them to know until I was pregnant, thought of it gives me anxiety (another reason partner wants me to wait and has also said to prep my body).
I mean if I do ttc, would I just need to bring tests with me to check so I don't end up drinking.

Mushroo, I've stopped taking pill few months ago. I need to look at the kits or look an an cycle app as i have no clue when i should be due etc. Apologies for my ignorance, first time I've been looking into this and none of my close friends have kids so noone to confide in!
Thanks for all the replies x

I would crack on with it but I'm biased as it took us over a year to conceive because DH has low sperm count.

Nobody needs to know you are ttc. Just carry on as normal until you get a bfp.

I'd start folic acid and ttc asap. There's realistically only a few days that it'd be inappropriate to drink for. If you get really lucky and conceive, you won't care that you can't drink. Just say you're on anti b's. No one will believe you but they should know not to pry. Good luck!

i wouldn’t stop drinking completely until I’d got a positive test. just have a couple and if anyone questions why you’re not drinking a lot use “I stupidly had a few too many at home last night and I just can’t stomach another heavy night”

or is it a hen do that involves renting a house and having a big night in? everyone ends up making their own drinks at those I don’t think anyone would notice anyway. Refuse any shared fizz “oh no thanks that stuff gives me a migraine I can’t shift, I’ve got vodka in my bag I’ll make one of those” fill a particularly crappy branded bottle of vodka with water and top up your lemonade with that all night. No one wants to share cheap vodka so you’ll be left alone 😂

Personally I would not delay it for hen dos but it's up to you. Depends how much you want a baby. For me drinking is not really important, so I would happily go to hen dos and not, but understand in some friendship circles there is more of a drinking culture.

I'm 35 and we have been TTC 5 months, no luck. We delayed it a few months for honeymoon and I regret that.

I have best friend and my sister's weddings in about 9 months (and one is half way across the world). I'm bridesmaid for both and realise if we get pregnant now I may not be able to attend either! As much as this pains me, I know not to delay TTC again, as what if we missed our chance now, who knows when it will come around again?

I wouldn't delay for this reason, no.

Honestly, what is the worst that can happen with people's assumptions if you stop drinking? Does it actually matter?

Just say you are on a health kick and not having alcohol at the moment.

It literally doesn't matter what they think. Stop caring so much.

Another couple of tips:

• Track your cycle, because if it's in the 2 weeks after your period (i.e. outside of two week wait) you don't need to worry anyway
• Controversial, but lots of people have a drink or two before knowing that they are pregnant and it's fine. Just limit it and don't get absolutely plastered.

Really though I think you need to think about this anxiety you have about 'pressure' from other people. I do know what you mean but you are choosing to care so much about that. You can choose not to.