Losing hope for baby number 2 :(

[2021lady]

Just offloading really
We are now at 18 months ttc number 2, maybe even longer. My daughters nearly 3 and have never went back on contraception after her
My husband doesn't get it..he's happy either way but I just long for another baby.
I'm not sure what to do anymore
Just would be nice to speak to people in the same situation

I feel for you, it’s horrible. I spent years trying, and had fertility treatment, to have my first. I never expected to be able to have any more and never used contraception after DC1. My DC2 arrived exactly 4 years after DC1. I’m eternally grateful for them. I wouldn’t have chosen a 4 year age gap however it’s actually worked out for the best for our family and they are very close. Not much help for you, but there is still hope for another.

It's so tought isn't it. I initially wanted a small age gap. And I am struggling terribly with pms every months so would like to shift them too! But it is what it is I guess
I'm also out for next months as hubby is away on training the week I'm due to ovulate lol
But I guess it is what it is

Solidarity OP. I am in a similar boat. DS is 3 and I've been TTC for over a year. Each failed month is heartbreaking and I just want to add to our little family.

We just got some basic tests done on the NHS. My progesterone was a bit low and DS's sperm wasn't great. I think the next step is to repeat the tests in a few months, as my DH had covid a month before his sperm test which could be affecting results.

In the meantime, we're on all of the supplements and I'm tracking ovulation. I long to see that BFP 😞

Offload away OP, I'll listen, as will the PP. The ache to have a second child as your first just gets older and older and you know the gap gets bigger and bigger is awful. You're not alone. We know how you are feeling. I'm so fortunate to be pregnant again, having had a miscarriage in early summer, and I hope this one makes it so we can complete our family. But I've been where you are (and terrified another miscarriage will mean I'll be back there all too soon). Please keep talking if it'll help

We've been TTC #2 for 18 months too, I don't really believe it's going to happen for us anymore

DH's sperm is fine, my AMH is fine although FSH a touch high, AFC fine, HyCoSy clear. I recently had a laparoscopy for endometriosis and had some adhesions cleared so I'm hoping that will do the trick but I doubt it. We're hoping to start Letrozole soon and if that doesn't work then we're going to try IVF but we can only afford 1 attempt

It's shit and I'm sick of the whole thing

I was in the same boat, took me about 3 and a half years to fall pregnant with DC2 (I am older though which will have made it harder - had DC1 at 39/few months before turning 40, wanted a 2 year age gap. DC2 arrived a few months after I turned 45.) It's such an emotional rollercoaster and on my worst days it was painful even just seeing a car with 2 car seats never mind actual children. My DH didn't understand either. All I would suggest is even if you mentally give up, don't go back on contraception if you still want another (I fell pregnant a few months after mentally giving up/finally forcing myself to try and accept that it wouldn't happen, such a cliché I know), leave the door open for luck so to speak. Good luck to all x

The same, TTC 2 over 2 years now although with gaps. Nearly 43, so very sad and don’t know what to think, but the thought of not ever happening is scary.. I can’t let this thought go just yet, but at the same time need to start accepting the reality..

We've been trying for 5 years for dc2 now, wanted a 2 year age gap, but my dd will be at least 7 by the time a potential baby arrives. It really is crappy. Dc 1 was naturally conceived. In the last 5 years I've had 3 surgeries, 6 ivf transfers, 4 miscarriages, a billion tests and procedures and currently doing letrazole rounds plus intense immune treatment (to help prevent miscarriage). I've had some truly awful times and feel so guilty for not being the best mum as I've been too busy being sad. I'm in an alright place at the moment, but I'm also 40 now, so feel like I'm running out of time, which pisses me off as we started when I was 35, which seems so young now!

It helps to vent. I hope you have some people you can chat too in real life. If someone tells you to relax, stop trying or go on holiday, you have my permission to poke them in the eye with a pregnancy test.

It really is so difficult.
Sounds like youve all had such a struggle. How awful:(
I've been so tempted to just go on the pill for a few months and forget about it all. But I don't think that's the best idea either.
I'm only just turned 30 so I guess time is on my side but every month when my period arrives its just harder and harder.
No one in real life really gets it
I get comments like oh no wonder you've stopped at 1 when they see how " wild " my daughter is. People who know we are trying say things like oh maybe lose some weight, maybe stop thinking about.it etc etc

I’m so sorry, it’s really tough. I had two miscarriages between my two babies and I had decided that if we had a third miscarriage we would stop trying as the stress and grief of losing pregnancies was stopping me from enjoying the gorgeous little child I did have. So I know how hard it is to struggle. I hope you’ll be as lucky as we eventually were. In the meantime, try not to worry too much about the age gap. I’m actually pleased ours weren’t closer together, and I have observed that siblings 4-8 years apart often get on a lot better than those 1-3 years apart.

I feel for you. It took me about five years to get my dd and even after I'd hugged a penis statue in Vietnam 😂. True story. Tried for another when she was about 1 and it never happened. She's now 9 and we've all come to terms with it for I look at her and think what a lovely sister she'd have made.