This is my 1st post on mum's net so please bear with me :)
My Lo is just over 1 year old now and I'm desperate to conceive again. Only problem is my periods haven't started again, I've tried the 24 hour/36 hour break from breastfeeding a few times but still nothing.
I feel like I'm being really stupid because I'd love to have 3 children and I turn 34 in January but I desperately want to have my three by the time I'm 36. I know fertility doesn't actually nose dive off a cliff when you hit 36 but it feels like it at the moment. It took us 6 months to conceive our first (4 of which we were trying at the right time/using OPKs) and I'm so worried its going to take longer next time round. I'm convinced it's to do with my mom being older when she had me (she was 38 with me - her second - and I always thought of her as an old mom. She's an amazing mom btw and an awesome nanny to my LO). I just want to shake this problem I have with my age and TTC, I know it will happen when the time is right but I'm finding myself getting distracted, obsessing over my age and the need to become pregnant soon.
To make matters worse my sister-in-law sent her 12 week scan picture to the family WhatsApp yesterday. This is the 2nd time she's sent a scan picture and not told anyone before the scan - it just seems so impersonal! My husband is her twin and she saw him last week and didn't say anything, it makes me sad that the closeness they had seems to be slipping away, but that's another story! The 1st time she sent a scan picture it was the day before my birthday. She didn't know at the time we were TTC but it was really upsetting and took me weeks to come to terms with it. Thankfully we conceived shortly after and my LO is 3.5 months younger than hers, but it's always felt that she has been reminiscing about what her daughter was doing at that age when there's only 3.5 months between them. Her next is due before her LO turns two and I'm desperate for that to happen for me too. I feel like I'm being utterly ridiculous. I was wondering though, has anyone else been in the same situation? Or have any suggestions to change my mindset and shake this obsession with age and TTC.
I know I'm so lucky to have my LO and I have friends who are also TTC and struggling which makes me feel so ungrateful and feel bad for so desperately wanting another. I'm so so grateful and happy that my LO is such a wonderful and happy little boy, he's just the best. I just wish I could shake this feeling of desperation and frustration with other people managing to conceive.
I know I am being totally unreasonable so I'm really hoping someone can offer some advice to help me sort myself out and get a grip!
Thanks all xx