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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

DH won't talk about kids

10 replies

ForeverTulip · 15/11/2022 05:15

We've been married for three years and now own our home and have good jobs but DH clams up on the subject of having a child. He won't say he doesn't want one, he literally doesn't say anything either way. What do I say to get him to talk about it?

OP posts:

MonsteraDeliciosas · 15/11/2022 05:42

Really should have been a discussion you had before getting married.. If he doesn't want to talk about it now, assume he doesn't want kids - if he did, he'd say.

He'll likely string you along for a while and say now isn't the right time, but still. If he wanted kids he'd say.

Josette77 · 15/11/2022 05:42

Did you discuss kids before marriage?
Was there a plan?

Chomolungma · 15/11/2022 05:50

How old are you both? Is he poor at communication generally, or is it just this topic?

ArcticSkewer · 15/11/2022 05:53

interesting approach to marry first then discuss this kind of thing later.

I'd say his lack of response is a response. He doesn't want kids. Now you know that, what are your plans?

HarvestThyme · 15/11/2022 06:01

He doesn't want kids.

He is apparently incapable of having an adult relationship. (Which requires discussing issues like children, money, emotions, etc.)

He is currently treating you with contempt by ignoring your feelings and refusing to discuss.

Do you really want to bring children into this relationship as it stands?

sorcerersapprentice · 15/11/2022 06:02

Tell him your coming off the pill and see what he says. That'll spark the conversation

Herejustforthisone · 15/11/2022 06:02

Did he make out he wanted them before you got married?

Don’t let him run your fertility down to nothing by ‘clamming up’ for years if you want to try to have children. How old are you both?

cushioncovers · 15/11/2022 06:03

How old are you ? And what did you discuss about having children previously?

Beachhutnut · 15/11/2022 06:07

You need to have the conversation but have a good think about what you would do if he says no. Would that be enough for you? If not have a plan b. Don't let him string you along by vague ' soons' etc. You need the conversation now. Is this something he is willing to start actively trying for in the next 6 months or not. If it's a no and that's a deal breaker then walk away and make sure you have the conversation immediately with future guys. It's not weird, you are not asking them to have a baby with you straight away, just asking about their life plans.

DontLoseYourFightKid · 15/11/2022 07:15

I think people are being quite harsh here.
It was the opposite way round for me, whenever my DH mentioned having a baby I would clam up and struggle to talk about it. It wasn't because I didn't want children, for me it was fear and worrying that I wouldn't be a good mum. Maybe he's worrying about similar things. Allow him to open up and reassure him it's completely normal to feel that way x

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