Can stress really stop you getting pregnant?

[BuzzyBusyBee]

Hi all,

Just after some honest advice, even if it may not be what I want to hear! I would rather know what I might be up against.

Brief history - early 30s, TTC #1 since Aug 2021. MMC at 10 weeks in Jan 22. Had surgical management and told I can start again as soon as I feel ready, although may want to wait until periods returned back to normal. Queue long long wait since then! 10 months on and I have had a grand total of 4 days ‘spotting’ rather than actual bleeding across that time. After fighting for 5 months finally been seen by NHS, various scans, blood tests, culminating in a hysteroscopy which confirms all looks normal! No physical reason why my period has not returned.

GP mentioned that stress may be the cause and that I need to try and reduce this. But struggling to see how. Besides the obvious stress of being desperate for a baby I am also dealing with my dads diagnosis of early onset dementia at the age of 61. It is devastating. It has been an uphill struggle for nearly 2 years to get a diagnosis. He can no longer work, drive or carry out basic daily tasks. He is a shell of the intelligent, physically fit person he was in 2020 and I very much doubt he will see 65 at this rate. Thrown into that is the standard stress of a shit, demanding job.

I wouldn’t say I am particularly stressed day to day, but am starting to think that this low level stress 365 days a year may be taking more of a toll than I initially realised. So just asking for any advice/experience of anyone who may have struggled with stress whilst TTC please? Does it really make that much of a difference? Should I just put TTC to the back of my mind for a couple of years whilst I deal with the shitshow that is dementia and hope that I am still young enough to have a baby after?

The answer is overall yes but small effect sizes. Stressful life events and blood cortisol does have an impact on hormonal cycles, likelihood of conceiving etc. However, as I said effect sizes are small.

My advice would be - do not delay TTC in early 30s. As you've experienced already, it can be a longer road than we would hope for. I also think delaying may just cause you stress!

Prioritise low biological stress eg sleep enough hours, eat well, light to moderate exercise (walking, swimming, any sport you love).

Ask yourself if there are any concrete changes that are possible eg could you afford to drop to 4 days working, what days are you supporting your dad and can anyone else take any time or tasks on, is there anything in life that you could minimise or afford to pay someone to do (a cleaner, a carer for your dad?).

With psychological stress, it's more about management as all of this is very reasonable stress. Have some acceptance of that - feelinf stressed at the moment is okay and not always avoidable. As you have noted yourself, the risk is that "being too stressed" becomes something else to stress about! Things you can try are relaxation exercises (breathing, muscle relaxation, yoga), time spent in nature (ideally without your phone), time spent with supportive people, relaxing social activities (v tempting to drop social all together when busy and stressed), counselling if it appeals to you.

Also it can be more relaxing to have a plan - your plan is if January hits without a positive test, ask for a fertility clinic referral. They will likely try letrozole for you.

I'm aware you asked for personal experiences. I have an ovulation disorder so it wasn't stress that stopped me conceiving but certainly I have a hugely stressful job, outside work commitments and have to work quite hard to manage stressors!

Thank you @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl

I think I am pretty good at the low biological stress part - was maybe doing a bit too much exercise as I am into marathon running but cut right back the last few months just to see if that makes any difference.

Think it is the other stresses I need to review - can sometimes feel like I am ‘on the go’ constantly so think I need to cut down on my commitments and learn to chill out a bit more.

like you say I am hoping that any effect should be relatively small in the grand scheme of things - just focusing on the fact I am young(ish), fit, healthy and confirmed that there are no physical issues that are obvious. May just be a case of more patience needed but had already sort of earmarked Jan as a possibly time to get some more targeted follow up as that will be a year on from my miscarriage

Oh no, so sorry for your loss and for the really long wait you’ve had since 😞 That sounds hard! I’ve only been trying for a few months but AF keeps arriving before I even get to 7/8dpo so after a lot of research it seems it’s a short luteal phase which can be caused by stress. It’s basically impossible to get pregnant until it sorts itself out. This month I’ve gone all out with the vitamins etc. I’ve been taking vitamin C, ashwagandha which is meant to chill you out, Pregnacare (that I was taking anyway) and now maca root which is meant to regulate your cycles. I’ve got agnus castus to take after ovulation to hopefully lengthen my luteal phase. I think the root of my problem is my job as a teacher though but I can’t remember a time when I was this stressed 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hi there!

I have had 4 very early losses and based on my research stress can be a factor.

Some great podcasts on this I have found however! They really helped me understand things.

open.spotify.com/episode/6l8sT09rwHAxtEHRRE3Ave?si=f2dPCj11S12ZJNdYxjwLww&utm_source=copy-link

Just one of many x

Ps. Apologies for your loss.

Conscience how much 'you just need to relax' comments are thrown around and it's incredibly frustrating. They are unhelpful and more deconstructive than positive.

X

This is really really good advice - clear, specific, actionable. I am wondering how your diet is as low calorie intake is a huge factor in anovulation. Lots of protein, ‘good’ fats etc.

I’m sorry, this sounds really difficult. Dealing with a dementia diagnosis and seeing the rapid changes in your dad must be devastating. Wishing you the best.