Anyone had 1st baby after 40, then had a second?

[Tiger79]

I had my first baby at 41 (on my 41st birthday actually!) she's now 2 and I'm TTC.

My DH is 10 years younger than me for context. The first time round we conceived after a couple of months but I did do all the private fertility assessments first.

This time round we only started trying when DD turned 2 in July. This was because I had quite a traumatic birth experience and didn't feel ready. We went through a complaints process with the hospital which took over a year to complete and get closure, and then I needed a bit of time.

I knew I was pushing it timing-wise but thought I can't just do something if it feels wrong. Anyway now I feel ready but we've had no luck as yet - 4 months trying.

I have read you're more likely to conceive if you've already had a baby.

We do all the steps needed when TTC over 40 as I did them all last time - SMEP, pressed, I take ubiquinol, etc etc.

I just wondered if anyone else on here has had two dc after 40, and how the second TTC stage went?

Obviously at some stage we will have to decide to stop but I don't know when. I still have a vision of a family of 4 and I feel in limbo whilst we are trying each month.

How much difference do people think alcohol makes? I've been drinking wine at weekends when I know I'm not pregnant. Found it difficult to abstain completely as I do feel sad about it all. Plus I have a toddler to look after!

Anyway, a bit of a ramble here.

(I had my first just turned 39 ) I had my second baby a fortnight after my 41st and my third three months before I turned 43

I didn’t use anything to and cocneption and in fact all three were not actively planned. I have never used hormonal contraception though so don’t know how much that - amongst other things - played a part. I also didn’t stop drinking well I did when I found out obviously

good luck. I don’t have any experience of TTC over a long time but I don’t think four months and no success should necessarily make you despondent

*anything to AID conception that should read

My friend had her first at 38 and ended up with 4.

Not quite - DC1 at 39 and DC2 at 45. Took a while to conceive both for me. I think it's luck as much as anything - I've known so many that tried desperately for years without success and others who were really annoyed to find themselves pregnant again and there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it they ranged from 20's to 40's and different lifestyles. I think being healthy/moderate alcohol etc might stack the odds in your favour but I think its ultimately down to luck. Good luck.

I conceived after two months at 37, but lost the baby. It took two years to conceive again which was pretty soul destroying. I'm tee-total and it didn't make me conceive super fast!

I have a friend who was younger but took her five years to conceive her second. Another who has an IVF baby at 41 after years of no luck, then conceived her second naturally at 42! And another who had four starting from the age of 37 with no problems.

Really luck of the draw imo. But four months isn't abnormally long to be trying. Two years is common, although it feels like forever.