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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

ttc emotionally draining! 😔

9 replies

EWXo · 12/10/2022 15:38

Hey! I need advice before I drive myself up the wall..

My Husband and I have been ttc since June this year (now cycle 4 since stopping microgynon). I'm trying to leave everything to nature and just let my body do it's thing! Last month I was a week late for my period which was a first for me and I really got my hopes up only for a PT to come back negative which left me really disappointed 😔Flash forward to now and I'm in the same situation, my period was late and I took a test the day after - another negative. I don't know if i tested too early or if it's not to be yet again. I'm 5 days late now and I'm getting headaches and some nausea but that could also be my period.

Do I test once more or do i just assume the test was correct and my periods coming at some point (even though it's really not wanted right now!)

This is so draining now, especially now that all I'm seeing are pregnancy announcements everywhere which is lovely and i'm happy for those that get to experience it, but i just wonder will it ever be me 😔. My partner already has kids too with his ex so it's really playing on me emotionally. Not to mention the 'so no babies yet?' question.

OP posts:
Indianna2006 · 12/10/2022 16:33

@EWXo when you say your period was late, are you certain on your usual cycle length or are you certain on when you are ovulating? As you can’t just presume as one month is 28 day cycle that the next will be.

so people say there period is “late” but it’s only ever truely late if you are pregnant. Or you don’t know when you ovulated and go off a standard cycle length and guess.

what I’m basically saying is if you are certain when you ovulate. The time between ovulation and period is always very similiar for yourself. Within a day either side. So you should never really be caught out by being late.
mid you are perhaps you are miscalculating your ovulation and therefore not dtd at the right time? As 5 days late wouldn’t happen without being pregnant. It means your ovulation was 5 days later than you expected which presents the day your period will arrive.

hopefully that makes sense? And might help you determine if your dtd at the right time?

berksandbeyond · 12/10/2022 17:02

4 cycles is still super early days, it can take up to a year for a healthy couple to conceive and it be considered 'normal'.

How regular are your periods? Probably still settling after being on birth control. You could do another test now to rule it out though.

Blue2020 · 12/10/2022 18:07

I would suggest trying to track ovulation in the next cycle (if you are not pregnant this cycle that is). Opk tests. I also used bbt.

If you are assuming/guessing an ovulation date, and you are then 5 days ‘late’, it’s likely that you are 5+ days out from the ovulation, as the pp said. If you also stop dtd as soon as you think ovulation has occurred then it’s reducing the chance of pregnancy.

I tracked mine, had 31 day cycles and usually ovulated on day 19. In my last cycle I ovulated on day 24. 5 days later compared to my previous cycles, it’s a good job I tracked it because I would have given up dtd on day 18. That’s the cycle I conceived too!

SalviaOfficinalis · 13/10/2022 10:00

It is really emotionally draining, completely agree.

Do you use ovulation tests? Really recommend them, at least if you know when you’ve ovulated you know roughly when you should be testing, instead of waiting for your period to be late.

Original poster
EWXo · 13/10/2022 11:18

Indianna2006 · 12/10/2022 16:33

@EWXo when you say your period was late, are you certain on your usual cycle length or are you certain on when you are ovulating? As you can’t just presume as one month is 28 day cycle that the next will be.

so people say there period is “late” but it’s only ever truely late if you are pregnant. Or you don’t know when you ovulated and go off a standard cycle length and guess.

what I’m basically saying is if you are certain when you ovulate. The time between ovulation and period is always very similiar for yourself. Within a day either side. So you should never really be caught out by being late.
mid you are perhaps you are miscalculating your ovulation and therefore not dtd at the right time? As 5 days late wouldn’t happen without being pregnant. It means your ovulation was 5 days later than you expected which presents the day your period will arrive.

hopefully that makes sense? And might help you determine if your dtd at the right time?

@Indianna2006 I was having 28 day cycles for the first 2 months. I got a faint line on a ov test 2 months ago which i think was a peak, but nothing came of it, and since that point i stopped using the ov tests because I was becoming obsessed with tracking.

Now it's all changed again, I'm pretty sure having PT yesterday I'm not pregnant and I'm hoping my period comes tomorrow and this is just a new cycle pattern I'm settling into - it's been so long since I've had consecutive natural periods I've no idea what my cycle looks like anymore because it was irregular before, but that may have been because when i was 18 and not sexually active (until I met my husband 5 years ago) I wasn't tracking anything because there was nothing to track for. I'll try to do OV tests this month to see where I stand!

OP posts:
Original poster
EWXo · 13/10/2022 11:22

berksandbeyond · 12/10/2022 17:02

4 cycles is still super early days, it can take up to a year for a healthy couple to conceive and it be considered 'normal'.

How regular are your periods? Probably still settling after being on birth control. You could do another test now to rule it out though.

@berksandbeyond My periods been regular since stopping my pill, all up until last month, so I'm wondering if I'm now settling into my pre-pill cycles that I had when i was 18? I just hope they aren't as irregular!

I'll try ovulation tracking again, but hopefully there's nothing underlying that's causing it and that i can conceive even if it takes a while.

OP posts:
Original poster
EWXo · 13/10/2022 11:24

Blue2020 · 12/10/2022 18:07

I would suggest trying to track ovulation in the next cycle (if you are not pregnant this cycle that is). Opk tests. I also used bbt.

If you are assuming/guessing an ovulation date, and you are then 5 days ‘late’, it’s likely that you are 5+ days out from the ovulation, as the pp said. If you also stop dtd as soon as you think ovulation has occurred then it’s reducing the chance of pregnancy.

I tracked mine, had 31 day cycles and usually ovulated on day 19. In my last cycle I ovulated on day 24. 5 days later compared to my previous cycles, it’s a good job I tracked it because I would have given up dtd on day 18. That’s the cycle I conceived too!

@Blue2020 we're dtd regularly, but not going overboard if that makes sense.

I did track ovulation but I wasn't getting much back until month two when i got a faint line and then I stopped because I was becoming obsessed.

I'll try tracking again once this period comes, because I'm positive now I'm not pregnant having done a PT test.

OP posts:
Original poster
EWXo · 13/10/2022 11:30

SalviaOfficinalis · 13/10/2022 10:00

It is really emotionally draining, completely agree.

Do you use ovulation tests? Really recommend them, at least if you know when you’ve ovulated you know roughly when you should be testing, instead of waiting for your period to be late.

@SalviaOfficinalis It's so hard, it's made out that if you miss a single pill you can become pregnant right away, but they don't discuss that sometimes that's the case and sometimes it's not.

It's so difficult especially with my partner having two already all I can think is 'what's wrong with me that it's not happening?' 😔and he knows it's getting to me. I did use OV tests but i didn't get much pay off from them apart from once and I stopped using them because I was becoming obsessed, but i think I'll start again to see if this is a new cycle I've settled into.

OP posts:
Teachermummy83 · 13/10/2022 12:12

@EWXo it is draining. 4 months is early days though, most people take longer than that. We were almost 2 years trying for our son and havent used contraception for 2 years again but still waiting for a positive rest for a second.
All these people who 'accidentally' fall pregnant make everything think its easy, but for a huge number of us - it certainly isn't. People just don't talk about how long it can take.
Try tracking your cycle for a few Months to help pinpoint ovulation. There are apps which are great at helping you woke out symptoms of ovulation, and ovulation tests can help pinpoint the day too. It's hard not to be disheartened, just keep trying!

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