Easy to conceive first time, proving difficult 2nd time around buddies?

[UnwieldyRhombus]

Hi, as the thread title says, it was ridiculously easy for me to conceive first time around. One menstrual cycle where we did the deed twice around ovulation (measured with calendar and cheap ovulation strips, no temperature tracking or sophisticated devices). Boom, pregnant. Very, very lucky.

This time around, nothing after 3 menstrual cycles. Now, that's not exactly secondary infertility yet, so I'm not about to go to the Infertility boards blathering on insensitively about how eeeaaasy it was the first time and how it's taking sooo loooong this time but, at the same time, it's come as a bit of a shock to me. I was 27, nearly 28, when I got pregnant with my first and now I'm 31, so my fertility shouldn't really have declined a noticeable amount. However, I have PCOS and the first time around may well have just been a massive fluke.

Would anyone like to support each other? Currently in the TWW but I get premenstrual 7 days before AF is due, like clockwork. Irritable, tearful, everything feels insurmountable. It's here, and it's unmistakable 😣

Anyone in a similar boat where first wasn't a problem but trying for second and it's taking longer?

@UnwieldyRhombus In your late 20s the averages timescale for fertile couple falling pregnant is 6 months. And that’s average. So bang on normal.

no where need to panic just yet. Falling pregnant straight away often is fluke and just sheer good luck an not actually much to do with you being extra fertile. Just because it doesn’t happen again straight away doesn’t mean you are not fertile. You just have to keep going knowing the odds eventually are likely to land on your side.

For example: I have been pregnant 5 times. Only actually 1 DD due to miscarriages but has gone as follows.

(was 27 for these two below)
pregnancy 1 - cycle 1 - mc 13 weeks
pregnancy 2 - cycle 7 - My DD
(Was 32 for these 3 below)
pregnancy 3 - cycle 11 - mc 9 weeks
pregnancy 4 - cycle 1 - mc 5 weeks
pregnancy 5 - cycle 3 - current pregnancy

I am very much fertile and it’s just a mixed bag and a bit of luck sometimes. ⭐️🤞🏼 But had I of gotten first baby. I would of perhaps had a skewed perception of how long it really can take. Keep on going!

@Indianna2006 Thank you for this! That's really reassuring. I'll try not to lose hope 🙂

And best of luck with the current pregnancy @Indianna2006! I hope it's all going smoothly.

I wouldn’t say my second is taking longer yet, onto one cycle 2, first was successful on 3rd cycle but that was immediately following the pill so I don’t think the first cycle really counted. It’s a weird feeling when it’s your second because you think you’re less desperate but then last month it got so intense when I was doing the ovulation tests and in the tww assuming every symptom was pregnancy since I’ve actually now been pregnancy before! Hope it happens soon for you

It took me almost a year and a half to conceive first time round and I was a similar age to you. And I don’t have PCOS. I literally think it’s all down to good luck/bad luck.

I know it’s hard not to worry, but I think it’s best to give it 12-18 months to conceive before starting to worry.

Same here. Conceived first month for my first and trying for second at age 34 and 2 cycles hasn't worked. On my first month now and hoping this month is the month! Can test in about a week

Meant to say 3rd month now

It was different for me, first pregnancy took 6 months and 2nd pregnancy only took 3 months and I was 3 years old. Its a lot of luck involved

*3 years older

I was 31 when pregnant with my first and 34 when pregnant with my 2nd

Took us 6 months TTC child 1, now Pg with child 2 but it took 2 years. I'm early 30s and had given up, just convinced it wouldn't happen again for us.

Another one where it was the other way round for me - took 8 months with our first, now pregnant with our second on the 3rd cycle. No fertility or cycle issues as far as I know. TTC is an absolute nightmare - it can take over so much headspace if you let it, and it's really really hard not to let it.

My SIL fell pregnant straight away with their first, and took 6 months with their second, and she has PCOS - it really is a mixed bag and we're all different. Just keeping tracking and trying the best you can, and in all likelihood it'll happen soon

Hello, boat buddies!

For me it was a bit different. I was 34 the first time we conceived - very lucky, weren’t even trying (we were just not using protection and see what happens), we dtd once that month because there was a lot of family drama happening. Healthy pregnancy and all went well.

Now 37, started trying for #2 and I had a chemical pregnancy on 2nd cycle. Not sure if I should do a 3 months pre-conception plan and then try again or just keep trying. I’m terrified of miscarriages - had one when I was 31 and honestly I have no idea how my fertility is right now. Late 30s so I think much more likely to experience miscarriages. I would’ve really liked to get pregnant before I turn 38.

Hi, sorry everyone, I had email notifications off and forgot about this thread! Still TTC #2, still no luck. Still hopeful that it'll be soon though.

I'm getting maybe a little better about not symptom spotting during the TWW and not being too disappointed when AF arrives. Really appreciating how lucky we were the first time around.