Tortuous waiting - just wish all biology would be textbook

[Flamingmango]

So we started "properly" trying last month, I'm 33 and never been pregnant. My SO has a disability which means we can't try often and so wanted to be precise.

Annoyingly, despite the fact that since I was about 18 my cycle has been 30 days on the dot, this year my cycles started becoming a bit longer up to 35 (I also grew hair under my chin so hormonal change I guess). So last month I tracked with OPKs and temperature and didn't get peak on OPK until CD21 so presumably didn't ovulate till CD22. That cycle did decide to suddenly be 30 days again so not enough time to ovulate (made me concerned that I often have short luteal phases and never realised before). I had covid when that happened (might be relevant).

So jumped right back on the OPKs and temperature and data is all over the place temp wise and never saw a peak at all. I thought that maybe it was due to me using a new brand of OPKs but my temps being weird wouldn't add up with that. Got a bit fed up around CD24 and gave up any testing. But did try around two possible ovulation dates, CD15 for if I had a "typical" 30 cycle and CD22 to match previous month. Anyway, I assumed it was an anovulatory cycle, getting ready to start anew with new period.

BUT

I'm now 5 days late (for 30 day cycle) and nothing happening. Don't really feel like my period is coming (don't have the big swollen boobs I usually get), been having some light cramping which I don't usually get before my period. Did a HCG test this morning and it was a BFN. Trying desperately to wait a good few days before testing again and not rushing out for some sort of early response.

Feel like my head is just full of babies, we've had such a hard time with my SO getting ill 3 years ago, we were supposed to start trying before he did. How do you all distract yourself?

Hey, oh that sounds really rough, bless you. I’m a similar age and TTC, my husband also has an illness so it adds to the equation! We’ve ended up needing a donor after nearly 3 years TTC, IVF etc. but that’s a whole other story (and hopefully one that won’t affect you!)

What I would say is, have you had a fertility check up? It might be worth getting a proper idea of what is going on with your cycles and hormones, especially as you’ve had some hormonal changes, and take it from there.

If you’re not able to try very often then that might impact things as well so something like IUI might help you - but get some checks first of all and see what comes back. Your SO should get tested too.

Yeah, that's good advice thanks so much for writing! It's so easy to sort of just hope things will work out and getting GP appointments at the moment are such a pain! However, SO and I really encourage each other to go to the doctor because if he had done that at first symptoms he wouldn't have gotten so ill! I got checked for PCOS a few years ago but I'm still suspicious to be honest.

I'm still waiting for my period and today is day 37 so longest cycle since I started tracking. I've had persistent mild pain in my abdomen so I don't know what's going on but I'm pretty sure if I was pregnant (viably) I'd definitely be testing positive by now. Figured I'll wait till Thursday/Friday and maybe call GP if nothing's happening still.