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Conception

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TTC 42, 1 miscarriage 1 chemical

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MaculataO · 14/09/2022 10:38

Hey all,
First time poster here! We've been ttc for almost 9 months now (ironic amount of time). One miscarriage (our first go when I was still 41) and 2 cycles ago, one chemical.
Not really sure what to ask but I guess seeking some solace or reassurance. Or just to chat about how hard this stuff is. My other half is lovely but not physically going through it all, I think makes it harder for even the most empathetic man to understand.
Struggling lately with 2 babies born to friends in the last 2 years. Obvi happy for them, but absolutely crushed with envy and sadness too. One of them is hubby's god-daughter now which is lovely (we're not godparents tho). So I have a terrible fear that they'll get a super little bond going, and I will just feel so left out. Which makes it sound like I'm jealous of a baby. Good lord. I also feel so strange and sad and odd when I see him with other babies in the family/friends group. almost a snapshot of what could be ours but is so painfully not right now. This stuff is so hard isn't it. Today is a particularly bad one as I can feel AF gearing up to disappoint for the 9th time.

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