To try for another or not?

[TulipVictory]

This is really silly because i am really on the fence but I am thinking I either have one more now or never.

So what I would really like to know is in my situation, would you have another?

I am 31 years old, I have three beautiful children all of the same gender they are 8, 5 and almost 2. A part of me longs for that one last child but of the opposite gender. I know this is silly because I cannot choose this but I also know that if I had a little one of the same gender I'd love it just as much as my others. The main reason for another is just I have this longing for one but how do I even know that this will stop after a fourth baby. Generally I just love having babies and children and it's lovely having a nice busy household. They all bring so much joy.

However, I know this is not the sensible option. The cons are that I'd need to get a new car and probably a new house eventually or an extension as we only have a 3 bedroom house. My husband is content with three and he said if it was just his decision he would say no more but because I have this longing for another one he wouldn't want me to live with regrets and the what ifs so we'd have one more and then he would happy to go and have a vasectomy. Another con is I know all my family think that if I had another I would be absolutely insane and less supportive.

I just don't know that my reason for one more is reason enough. In my situation, what would you do? It's now or never though. I don't want to be doing the school run forever. When my third starts primary, my first child will already be in year 6.

If you've read this far then Thankyou 😊

Unless you are massively well off, having a 4th would be quite selfish when you need to consider the needs of your existing three as they enter teenage and university. Kids get more expensive as they age. Also... Will you have enough time and energy and patience to dedicate enough one on one attention to each? That will be 4 kids of all varying ages, each one with a different set of challenges, worries and struggles that you must stay attuned to.

Other scenarios to consider:

• what if you get twins?
• what if your 4th ends up with significant special needs?

Is it worth it to roll the dice again knowing these risks?

I’d say if you’ll regret not trying then go for it. Plenty of people manage to have children sharing rooms etc so you don’t necessarily need an extension, plus the fact a baby doesn’t need it’s own space for the first 6 months really.

have you heard of the babydust method? I’m loosely following it this time around, there’s a book and Facebook group. Danielle Lloyd just had a girl after lots of boys and swears by it. I’m taking it as a little token effort to sway one way but if it doesn’t work I’d be delighted with a baby either way