When to tell your partner about BFP?

[Flowersflowers121]

Heyyyy everyone.

When do you think you should tell your partner that you've had a BFP?

Do you tell them immediately or maybe even take tests together?

Or keep it quiet until you're further along to avoid disappointment in case of any problems etc?

X

Sometimes he knows when I'm testing and sometimes he doesn't but I always tell him straight away.

I couldn't imagine keeping it from him.

Thanks for your reply! I got my bfp this morning but I'm only 9dpo and we had a recent chemical where he was super disappointed and upset after, so I just don't know whether to wait a while or not...

Its our 1st wedding anniversary on Sunday (21st) so might be a nice time to surprise him if my line keeps progressing?

Why on earth wouldn’t you tell him straight away? I couldn’t keep something like that from dh.

No need to be rude... I explained above how I had a chemical recently and he was devastated and I wouldn't want to put him through that again if I didn't have to.

Each to their own - i was just asking advice.

I think the tone got lost. I wasn’t aiming for rude-I am bemused. Don’t you think he would want to know about a loss? My dh would, even though it would be upsetting. He would want to be able to grieve himself as well as support me. I don’t think it would be right for me to pretend it had never happened.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

@Flowersflowers121 I can totally see where you're coming from in wanting to avoid any upset for him ❤️ it's each to their own and you should tell him when you're ready. What a special time to tell him on your 1st anniversary too!!! Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy!

I would tell straight away. Yes it could lead to disappointment but it isn't something you should have to go through alone. As long as your DH understands the risk of chemical etc.

I would wait also... till a dark test 9dpo very early. And if it dint work out i.e bleed by sunday i would explain that also. Mine likes ti be cut and dry if its faint dont think he wuld believe it anyway!

Thank you, lovely ❤️ :) xxx

Thanks, darling!! You've made me feel much better about it ❤️ xxx

@Flowersflowers121 Sorry I only read your first post so didn’t see the second post about you getting your BFP! Congratulations!! I really hope it all goes well and you can share with your DH. It would be lovely to tell him on your anniversary!

Its our wedding anniversary this weekend too so I’m really hoping I have some exciting news to share with DH too!

Awwwh, sending you all the baby dust and hoping you have a lovely anniversary :)

Straight away. Happened to be a weekend so he was home.

Had it been in the week, I would have waited until he was home from work.

I told him straight away both times. Personally, I'd have rather he was aware and could go through the ups and downs together as I'd imagine he'd be really upset if he thought I'd had a chemical/early loss and not told him. Best of luck to you xx

First off, congratulations!!! I totally understand your apprehension following your CP and I think a wedding anniversary reveal is a lovely idea, if you can keep it secret that long! Personally I told DH within an hour (after a mad dash to find a babygro to wrap it in - first BFP excitement) because I am impatient and also would want him there for support if things quickly went south. It’s totally personal preference though, so just do what feels right to you.

Congratulations!

I literally told my partner as I came out the bathroom, but he knew I was testing. It was a complete surprise we had been trying ages and I have very irregular cycles. So I went in there thinking it was going to be yet another negative but was astonished when it was positive lol. So complete different situation to you, so you do what feels right for you :)

Thanks everyone for your lovely replies ❤️😊 xxx

Congratulations!

I think I would want to wait as there’s an occasion and would make an amazing surprise.

my partner wants us to test together as it’s his first time ttc (I have a child with my ex husband) and as he’s voiced this I wouldn’t test without his knowledge but if he had never said this I would test before telling him to be sure

Thank you so much!! :)

Awwh, that's really nice <3 :)

The wedding anniversary idea would be lovely ☺️ There is no way I could keep it to myself that long! The first time I was so shocked that the moment from a film where the woman gets a positive pregnancy test was actually happening for real in my bathroom that I started frantically shaking and ran downstairs immediately with it 😂 Hoping to play it a bit more cool this time! It was also very very early and I was almost oblivious to chemical pregnancies etc as you just get so wrapped up in it saying pregnant so I think I’d wait as late as possible before testing this time then put a big brother top on our little boy to tell him

Congratulations 🥳

I can see why waiting until your anniversary would be nice. I think the longest I waited was 9 hours until DP got home from work.

Would you tell him if it ended up as another chemical?

I have my fingers crossed the line gets darker and darker and you have a happy healthy pregnancy

We had CP & really upset my partner.. I waited a few days before telling him with my little boy the second time.

Because it was a lot darker and further a long - I mean, instead of 9dpo it was more 12dpo - he was able to believe it without the worry/not believe the line was real - unlike me who worried the full 38 weeks 🤪

Do what's best for you guys, congrats ❤️ and happy 1st wedding anniversary!

@Flowersflowers121 congratulations!! I found out I was pregnant with DS 20th December 2020 10dpo and didn’t tell my husband til Christmas Day. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with waiting for an occasion. Fingers crossed it’s not a CP again for you both! Keep us updated on how/when you tell DH ❤️