33yr old - is it foolish to delay ttc no 2?

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Hi all
I am 34 later this year. I have a lovely 7mo old who I adore but equally I find him hard work!!

I’m beginning to think I’d ideally like to delay ttc our next baby for a couple more years as I think this will be easier than managing two younger children, and easier financially too.

This would mean waiting til I’m 36-37… am I taking too bigger risk with my fertility?

I know it doesn’t necessarily mean anything but we conceived first baby after 1 month of trying.

Thanks for your thoughts x

I would say because you’ve conceived before it should be ok. I think the problem with trying for your first in your late 30s is that if there are underlying problems it doesn’t give you much time to address them. I wouldn’t leave it later than 37 though to be on the safe side - I conceived my first 2 within one and two months and the third took a year for apparently no real reason whatsoever. Fertility is a fickle thing.

It's a risk. I wouldn't consider it a big risk as you fell so quickly last time. Could you maybe consider closer to 35? 7 months is v young. I think once they're two they're much better and you can imagine having another.

Thanks for your replies.

I was originally thinking of trying summer next year, just before I turn 35.

Having two is pretty important to me so I’m thinking I probably shouldn’t delay it too much.

I’m the same, I always thought I wanted two close together but it’s different once the baby was here and I need to stagger it because paying double nursery for too long would cripple us. I’m 35 next year and don’t feel too worried. I don’t think you need to panic yet.

I had my first age 33, my second many years later.

I would do some research on "2 under two". I left a bigger gap because mainly I wanted to bounce back physically and financially and give my second as much attention as my first.

Think about it like this: to you were ttc and fell pregnant next month, how would you feel? I know plenty of people who have fallen pregnant within a month or two of ttc (this happened to me twice!).

Everyone is different ,I thought it was never going to happen at 36 I had a year with 4 miscarriages and a year of trying to get pregnant. Got there in the end though it was quite stressful.

I would NOT be ready for another right now. The soonest I was thinking of trying was once he turns one in January next year, but if we fell quickly again I think even that would be daunting.

I’d like to wait til he’s 2 years but I’ll be 35 by then and that’s when the experts seem to say fertility takes a nose dive.

Plus hubby is 41, and some websites say his fertility will start to reduce too.

I got preganant with my first at 38 and had her at 39. She is 17 months old, I am 40 now and pregnant with our second baby who will be born a couple of months after I turn 41. Fell pregnant after 1-2 months both times. You have plenty time!

It's impossible to know. We aimed at an age gap of 3 for a similar reason, starting trying for our second nearly exactly two years ago, and now my daughter is 4 and I'm 36. I'd like to think we are unlucky rather than it being the norm. However I think with the cost of nursery fees and general squeeze on cost of living it is sensible to wait a bit or least to reduce the period you have to pay for two children in nursery.

No one can predict the future and sadly secondary infertility does affect some women.
We started trying for another baby when our oldest was 2. I was 34 and I fell pregnant fairly quickly, meaning there was a 3 year gap between the children.
There have been a few months of paying 2 lots of fees at nursery - very happy to see the back of that!
7 months is still super young. I would maybe re-evaluate in the spring next year. Such a lot of development happens between now and then, and you may feel differently.

I really disagree with how boldly and flippantly you state that OP has "plenty of time". Like you, I fell pregnant quickly with my first at 39, born at 40, and am now pregnant with my second at 41. I have been blessed with the ability to have babies late in life with very little issues. But the truth is that female fertility does decline rapidly in late 30s, and we are in the minority, not majority. I have several friends who, like me, waited until late 30s to start trying for a baby, but they have been unsuccessful. One is now 41 and desperately trying IVF to no avail, and it's heartbreaking as she wishes she'd started earlier as her options are so limited now and the clock is literally ticking. More education is needed to younger women about fertility issues, not scaremongering, but honest factual information. Posts like yours that are based solely on your own (very fortunate) circumstances, are potentially damaging.

OP, your little one is still so small, so it's understandable you don't feel ready quite yet, and only you will know when you do feel it's the right time. It's true that fertility declines after 35, and unfortunately there's no way of knowing whether you will have issues until you start trying. On the plus side, you have 'proven' fertility, which is a great sign, and hopefully you will fall again quickly when you're ready. But you also can't take if for granted. So whilst the odds appear in your favour to wait a year or so, you have to weigh that against the risk that the longer you wait, there's a chance you won't be successful. Only you can determine what that balance means for you and your family.

Like you I started trying for my second at 35- 18 months and one miscarriage later we’re still trying. Gp very relaxed, wish I was more relaxed! I’d have a fertility test, especially for your DH and then you’ll know a bit better where you stand.

I had my first at 33 and second at 35. They are 21 months apart and only one school year which is fab I have to say!

They now have similar interests (anime, cooking, cinema, badminton, art etc) but other separate interests too. Days out and holidays can be suited for all which is lovely and their friends all get on. I realise this doesn't always happen with siblings or just because they are close in age but it's been a really positive impact on our family.

The young years go very quickly (appreciate it doesn't always feel like it!). We also used a childminder and I was PT which helped with pre pre-school costs

I'm 38 TTC over a year for our second. I wish I had started earlier but not much earlier. I think you can easily afford to wait until 35. In the mean time focus on your health. I have pcos and I think one reason it's taking so long is I didn't manage my stress levels before to get cycles regular. I think if you focus on health now once you start it won't take as long.

Having said that thanks to the wonderful mums here posting about pregnancies in your 40s and late 30s, you've made me very happy today ❤️🙂

I had my first at 30 with no issues at all as in we weren’t ttc just one night of not being careful. I’m now just turned 38 and now on cycle 7 and have just had 2 CPs/early miscarriages back to back (cycle 5 and cycle 6) so I’m still at square one with the added pressure of thinking something is wrong even after blood tests coming back normal.

In your position I still wouldn’t ttc quite yet but wouldn’t wait until 37 either if it’s important you have 2. Chances are it would be fine but you just don’t know