Sorry for your loss gift

[AGC21]

Unfortunately I have a friend who has suffered a miscarriage. I want to send a gift to let them know I am sorry and thinking of them. What would you suggest?

There is no gift in the world I would have been happy to receive after my losses tbh.

A card with some heartfelt words and a ‘here when you need me’ might have been okay but I really wouldn’t have wanted to receive a gift.

Nothing. Kind but weird.

A card and only a card.

White lilies

A card or a letter. Anything else can be a reminder you don't want to have

I thought about this when a friend of mine had a miscarriage. In the end I baked her a banana bread, which she loved. I reckoned that flowers would just serve as a reminder of it.

A card with some loving words in it.

Agreed, there is no gift I would have liked. My parents and in-laws sent flowers which was kind, but they just made me feel sad looking at them. Same with cards. I think a phone call or text to check in on them and let them know you’re there for them is the nicest, that’s what I appreciated.

After my miscarriages all I wanted to do was hide, cry, and eat chocolate. So a big bar of galaxy might work.

I wouldn't. I know you only want to acknowledge her pain and comfort her, but
no present can comfort or compensate or replace what she has lost.

Flowers fade and die and have to be disposed of; far too much of a reminder.

Thanks for all of the responses, noted RE gift.

Sorry for your losses, hope you are all ok!

A message just to say you are thinking of them, you are here whenever they need you etc

Chocolates or cake. Nothing like a keepsake as it’s a hard reminder.
but honestly just checking in is lovely and what she probably needs

Food. I've had 3 losses and people sent so many flowers. It was so kind but it was just something to look after when I really didn't have it in me. With the third loss lots of them went straight in the bin on arrival tbh. It's so hard to look after yourself in the immediate aftermath that the only helpful thing would be food. Nice ready meals, snacks etc. And yes a thoughtful card.

Agree with others, a card is enough. But wanted to say how lovely I think you are.

Just a ‘thinking of you’ type card. I got lots of flowers after my losses, I appreciated the sentiment but they just reminded me of death and I got little enjoyment from them. In fact, I found it quite depressing when the time came to throw them away. Some work colleagues did send me a care package one time with lavender sleep spray, an eye mask and nice body wash. That was a sweet gift. I did struggle with sleep with all the upset of it.

Just knowing friends were thinking of me and there for me was all that I needed though. Also, I really appreciated regular check ins via texts / messages that took pressure off me by saying 'No need to reply but just wanted you to know I'm here... etc...' It's difficult because it's so personal. I asked most friends for space but two of my best friends knew me well enough to ignore that and insisted on ringing / coming round and actually it was good to have a good cry with someone I trusted. But that's personal and it also depends on the type of friendship you have.

I got a nice candle from Kindred Fires I think it was called for a similar thing once. I sent flowers to another friend in that situation too, it’s a tricky one but you feel like you want to do something for them to know you really are thinking of them rather than just saying ‘thinking of you’ as people do

Thanks everyone for the responses, really helpful!

Have a look at www.arlokeepsakes.com they specialise in keepsakes for miscarriage and stillbirth.

I hated receiving flowers as they just die anyway.

have a look at www.arlokeepsakes.com they specialise in gifts for pregnancy loss.

It Is so beautiful to honour her baby no matter how early her loss was.

You can cook something for her, I think that would be appreciated.

Our friends sent us Cook vouchers which we really appreciated.