My husband is already fed up of TTC and we haven't even been trying that long!
We conceived my son spontaneously three years ago by surprise and because of this we'd never gone through the motions of TTC.
In January we decided to try for our second and I got pregnant straight away after only having sex once after a night out and a few drinks. At our eight week scan we discovered the baby hadn't been growing and it was deemed a missed miscarriage. The whole process of the miscarriage took five weeks which as you can imagine was rather draining and heartbreaking.
We couldn't start trying again until April and I used Clearblue sticks to find my fertile window. The same again in May. Both months we only had the chance to DTD once. June we took a break and then July felt much more relaxed, we were on holiday, I didn't track properly but I knew it was roughly the right time using apps and had sex a few times. I thought that would do the trick but it didn't.
So this month I bought Clear Blue fertility monitor and tracked diligently for ten days. On Friday I got my first high fertility day and insisted we DTD even though my husband was a bit begrudging. Sunday I organised a date night, we had a lovely night and it all felt fun and relaxed when we DTD again.
Yesterday I was really excited to see peak fertility on the monitor. We were both very tired but I still wanted to do it as I'd been so diligent in my tracking and I didn't want to miss the chance that month. My husband said it was all too forced and I 'wasn't making it nice'. I feel very frustrated because:
- Why do I have to be the one to make it nice? He could be the one being romantic etc.
- Is it really feasible to have romantic date nights every time we DTD especially aiming for the fertile window?
- I'm still quite heartbroken from the miscarriage and I don't think he appreciates that I just want to be pregnant again? Though this is only our fourth cycle trying since the miscarriage but we have been trying in total for eight months. Sometimes I get the feeling he's not even that bothered but I know he is but just wants me to do all the work.
I don't feel like the casual approach worked but it's true that the more organised approach isn't really sexy for either of us. I know people will say forget trying but that's easier said than done.
Also I'm 39 and he's 43 so I'm not really feeling like time is on my side.