I'm 25 and last year I lost my pregnancy.
It crushed me. I feel into depression but in the 7 months since it's happened I've built myself up emotionally and materially. It doesn't effect me in day to day life anymore. But one thing I can't shake is this deep desire to have a baby.
I'm close to buying my first house, I have a stable job that offers maternity leave and it fit in within my plan. This is when I personally want my child. I've always wanted my first child in my mind twenties, long before I'm 30.
However, this is where the issues come in.
I'm single. I have no love interests, I've even shut myself off from dating. In my many years of dating I've not met one guy who wants to be a father even in his later years. I'm sick of waiting for a man to come along so I can do something I want to do. Some people want careers, I want a baby and to be a mother.
Friends tell me I can't do it. That I'll crack under the pressure of being a single mum. That a child needs a dad. That I'll never be loved after having a child and I'll grow fat and ugly.
Yet none of them know how much my heart breaks every time I see a child of any age. That longing to have a baby of my own. The happiness seeing and hearing toddlers just be themselves. Every waking moment is spent loving a child who doesn't exist yet. Buying it clothes, teddies and books.
I'm fertile. I'm close to being stable. The only thing that holds me back is the fears my friends throw on me and the lack of an active father. I'm bored of the clubbing life. Never been much of a social person. I feel I'm ready for a baby.
Any advice would be very much appreciated.