To try so soon after DD?

[nbrown2022x]

Me and my partner have a 5 month DD. She is our world and we were very to lucky to fall pregnant as quickly as we did once we decided to try.

She's a fantastic baby and has been sleeping through the night since she's been 11 weeks. I know that may not always be the case with bumps in the road such as a teething, sickness etc.

Every single person I speak to as of late as asked if we want another. We do, but said we would wait until after she's 1 to try. The said people then say "don't leave it too late, you don't want a massive gap".

I'm now 33, and I'm starting to think time is ticking.

Should we try before she's 1? Is that mad? Should I? Me and my partner are financially stable, with solid careers and fantastic support. However nursery isn't cheap is it?

My sister fell pregnant 6 weeks PP🤣🫣 they are now 6&7 and incredibly close. It's lovely to see.

I feel like I've just about recovered and the thought of giving birth again is scary🤣 even though my labour was fine with not many complications.

Has anyone got children close in age and would recommend trying so soon?

My partner is quite keen on the idea so that wouldn't really be an issue.
Xx

Bump!

I got pregnant when my first child was 7 months so there's 16 months between them. It took ages to get pregnant the first time so we thought we might as well try and see what happened. I didn't expect to conceive the first time of trying, that was a bit of a surprise. It was tough for the first year or so, but it's been great as they've grown up to be very close.

Only you and your partner know whether you're ready - if you are, why not go for it.

My NCT friend was broody at 5m. By the time her baby was 7/8m, crawling, eating solids etc she went off the idea of them being so close together! I reckon the smaller age gaps are tough in the early days but pay off later.

I would make sure you are back at work in time to get the full maternity pay again though, but that probably isn't an issue unless you try immediately! Also can you manage 2 sets of nursery fees until funding starts? Or one of you take time out for a bit.

There's 2 years between ours. I'd had a lot of fertility problems before DS1 so just before he turned 1 we decided we should start trying in case it took a while. The age gap is good DS1 was old enough when DS2 was born that he could entertain himself well enough when baby needed me and during rough c section recovery. But young enough that the change didn't really bother him too much. Only you know when you're ready. All age gaps have their pros and cons. We went for a smaller age gap because we wanted them to be closer, and we knew if we waited til free childcare kicked in and we were getting our freedom back we'd have been far less inclined to go back to the beginning with a newborn even though we really wanted 2. Depends what suits your own little family.

My first two have 2.5 years between them. Partly because I didn't want two sets of babies and I wanted to enjoy each baby individually. They're still very close and insist on sharing a room despite not needing to at ages (nearly) 7and 9.5. Also if we have to pay school fees etc. childcare was expensive for us as we have no family around so I cannot imagine the cost for kids so close in age.
I enjoyed them so much that I had a third when my second was 5 😂 but we did have them mid to late twenties and the baby was born a few weeks before my 35th birthday last year.
My friend has a 13 month age gap and it works well for her. Whatever you decide you will be able to cope when baby is here.

Thank you so much ladies for your comments. Spoke to my partner and we've just decided to stick to our original time scale of 1 year, if we're lucky enough. I don't know how I feel about paying £1200 for 2 nursery places 3 days a week🤣 no matter how comfortable we may be right now, that would definitely be a stretch. Best going back to work for a while, save more and by then we will be in a better position financially.

Really enjoying this one on one time with my DD. I'm going to cherish every moment before another LO comes along in the future (hopefully). Xx

13 month age gap here. Not exactly planned, and the first year or so was tough, but lots of advantages too. I loved that we got all the nappies/sleepless nights etc out of the way in one go, and now we're past that stage.

I felt that way around a similar time with my dd she is now 7 months and crawling I spend my days chasing her around I can't imagine doing that pregnant

Good decision Op

Other people will always have opinions on what you should do , but they don’t have to live with those decisions - you do!!

The only thing I’d add is that generally it’s considered that a woman’s body needs a year to recover between pregnancies. This can avoid problems in later life as well as during the second pregnancy. So that should be a factor too.

11 months between mine. Years of infertility and IVF then boom two within a year. My youngest was very ill as a baby and is disabled and non verbal but they still have a lovely bond. Dc1 (4) dotes on DC2 and talks to her constantly despite the fact that she cannot respond. It's been hard but really lovely. The reason we had them so close is because a doctor said women are more fertile after giving birth and knowing we couldn't afford IVF again thought we'd have a crack at it never expecting it to work but it did! If there had been no fertility issues I'd probably go for a 2 year gap personally.

16 months between mine. The first year was so very hard- mostly because a 7 month old baby is so much easier to look after than a toddler, let alone a toddler and a newborn!

But a year and a half later I love it- they already play together and adore each other, and I'm pregnant with number 3 already!

I was saying this to my partner. I was a very big gym lover and trying to get back into it. I still can't do a sit up 5 months PP and a vaginal birth. It feels like my muscles inside haven't healed yet! I don't think I could imagine myself pregnant this soon the more I think about it! Xx

6-12 months ish was a really hard time with our baby. She was tricky at this age and can't imagine being pregnant at the same time as that!! She got a lot easier after that, we started trying and conceived straight away. I'd wait until they're 1. You're 33 not 43 and they will still be close in age!

Exactly! I like to think I still have a few fertile years left in me. Fingers crossed! Xx

Oh wow that’s not long at all but I know lots of people who have done it and after the initial tiny baby alongside a bigger baby stage, they seem to manage fine. I’m similar in that our baby has always slept though the night too. People love to try and rain on your happiness on that front and say ‘oh wait for teething’ etc, he’s just turned 1 and has never once ever woken during the night so HA to those people I say 😂 don’t think we’re quite out the woods yet but it’s not a patch on what I was told it would be! We’re thinking of trying again but have a few big things coming up that I’d like to be able to drink at and a big holiday in December that would almost seem a waste of money to go pregnant as we’ve spent a fortune on all inclusive etc 🙈 I think we’ll try again immediately after it though so if it happens quickly the age gap will be exactly 2 years or a month or two over. If you’re ready I say go for it, I feel like more people are having them close together now and it definitely helps when the first one is an angel child 😂

Just read your comment from earlier, seems like a good choice! That’s still a small age gap! Until about last month the idea of being pregnant again made me feel a bit ill, I could think of nothing worse. I don’t know if it’s just since he’s turned one and I’m going back to work that I’ve suddenly come round to the idea, can’t decide whether I just want another year off 😂🙈 I feel like it makes sense to have that time off though while he’s so little when I don’t want to miss any of it. The 2 year gap though means il go back part time for a year and go back off again hopefully. I quite liked being pregnant at work last time when stuff would be kicking off and I’d just be rubbing my belly like this is my ticket out of here guys 😂

I would definitely wait a little while. 2 under 2 is bloody hard work.
1 that can communicate and a baby is easier!
starting trying after the first is 1 is my personal opinion.
Enjoy all those first milestones with the first before you bring in another. Let your body completely recover.
If you got pregnant now you’d be exhausted and nauseous for your babies weaning, first steps, first words, toddler tantrums….. etc etc
Juts wait a little while.