What are we doing wrong18 months.. still nothing

[Ks1994]

Hey,

Anyone else struggling mentally with not conceiving. We have been trying for baby #2 for 18 months now. Our first is nearly 8.

I've had day 21 bloods done which was 10 Dr said was "abit lower than we'd like" but that was it. Didn't want to repeat because she said my cycles are not regular enough. Awaiting a gynocology referral for the past 6 months for pains I get behind my c section scar after my period.

Just feeling extremely drained when all our friends are getting pregnant. So happy for them but sad for us. I'm not sure what else we can possibly do

Has your partner had a sperm analysis? And what about any other tests for you (including thyroid etc)? Would you be able to afford to go private if the nhs waiting list is so long?

No Dr said sperm analysis is not needed because we already have a child together. I've had my thyroid checked all was fine. Going private really isn't an option for us.

Are you tracking ovulation accurately and focusing DTD around that time? I mean with OPKs and temping?

Tried fertility lubricant, grapefruit juice to increase cervical mucus, softdisc/fertilily after sex, progesterone in case of short luteal phase, soy isoflavones to bring late ovulation forward, L-Carnitin supplements for sperm...?

Just listing stuff off the top of my head!!

Possibly something to do with your uterus if you're having pain issues?

@Ks1994 I'm sorry but that is rubbish. Especially as you're first is 8. So much can change. He definitely should have a sperm analysis. In general, I find GPs just don't have much knowledge about fertility. 10 if that is your progesterone level is far too low for conception. 30 would be borderline but as you say if your periods are not regular, it may have been taken on the wrong day. You should have day 3 bloods too and 18 months in, whilst you wouldn't be eligible for IVF, you should be having all the tests done to investigate. You also should have a transvaginal ultrasound to check your ovaries and uterus.

How old are you? You really need to press hard your GP for referral to Fertility clinic.

You should be referred to a fertility clinic. Why are your cycles irregular? This could point to the problem.

I'm 28.

Dr's not even mentioned anything fertility referral

I have no idea why they are irregular. Some times I ovulate later and then always have 14 days after ovulation because my period starts.

It’s good that you have a luteal phase of 14 days, but the fact they’re irregular indicates something’s off somewhere.

Has your thyroid been tested? What are your periods like?

Thyroid is fine.
My periods are on the lighter side and only last max 3 days.
Just at my witts end with it. Feel like everyone's getting pregnant but me

When you say your periods are irregular, what do you mean? Couple of days here and there or much more irregular?

Light periods of only three days suggests a possible hormone imbalance.

Also, when you say thyroid’s fine, what did they test and do you have the actual numbers, or did they just say they’re ‘normal’?

Now and again my cycles can go like 38 days but most if the time I'm about 27 days. Thyroid they just said was normal never gave me numbers

Is your cycle different now to before you had your first child?

I wouldnt say so no.

Since you have a child already you aren't entitled to IVF on the NHS so if going private isn't an option for you there is no point in pursuing a fertility clinic referral via your GP as they will just do a few cursory scans and blood tests and then recommend you try IVF which they won't pay for

I got pregnant quite quickly but had irregular periods so sharing in case helpful. Sorry if this is obvious or something you’re already doing, but are you DTD when you feel even an inclination of being horny, regardless of what OPKs and temping says?

I did some reading about ovulation timings when decided to try for a child and found some research articles which said the typical timing of ovulation being around 14 days in only applies to a minority of women, and instead there is a huge range of when women ovulate, and a lot ovulate even in the first couple of days after periods. There’s also some suggestions that OPKs and temping are not accurate at all and some fertility doctors advice to ditch them.

I got pregnant on a day I wasn’t expecting to ovulate. I got pregnant in a month when I decided I’d just have sex when I fancied it, even outside the classic, most common “window of ovulation”. It was almost like imagining myself earlier in a relationship again, or single, and think if I felt the urge that day or not, and then DTD on that day. Sometimes it meant I fancied it midday, was busy the whole day and then exhausted in the evening, but I still did it that evening because it must have been nature’s evolutionary urge to get me pregnant, and I should trust it. The scan put my fertilization date 3 days after my period had started, and the pregnancy test too suggested a fertilization window that didn’t match with the classic ovulation window in text books.

I’m only sharing this because none of the MN conversations ever mention being in tune with our urges (no matter how small during the day) and there are fertility doctors saying a lot of people just don’t have enough sex at the right time. Now if there is a medical reason or infertility, then that’s another issue of course. Only sharing because you already have a child.

So they wouldn't help at all?

I understand I wouldn't be entitled to ivf on the nhs but surely there's clomid etc which could be tried if I'm not ovulating? Which is my main concern with my progesterone level being so low.

I just want answers now if I'm being honest, it's the nit knowing that's driving me insane, if we are unable to get pregnant I'd rather just know than put myself through this every month

@Ks1994 do as much as you can with the NHS regardless of the fact you won't get IVF. There are plenty of steps before IVF depending on your situation. 3 day periods do not immediately indicate a hormonal problem. I have light 2/3 day periods - I have textbook bloods. It was never mentioned as a concern in the slightest when going towards fertility treatment (which in the end we haven't needed).

To get a referral you need:
Day 3 bloods (this tells you so much)
Day 21 bloods
Transvaginal ultrasound
A sperm analysis

Privately, you could have your AMH checked which is your ovarian reserve although at 28 it should be okay. In London you can get it done for around £100. The NHS do not offer this.

I don't think your periods are wildly irregular as long as you're having regular sex but you do need to get to the bottom of this. Luckily, It's not as though they are going 90 days so it super hard to to pin point ovulation, so make sure you're having plenty of sex. You should 100% be having a repeat progesterone test. as long as it's between 6-8 days before your period begins, you should get an accurate result. Was your last one between 6-8 days before your period?

Doctors sometimes say to ditch OPKs because people get hung up on them and only have sex when they get a positive but bodies are funny and sometimes there is a delay in the release of the egg. Normal OPKs can detect hormonal change, but don't confirm an egg has been released, hence lots of people temp - if done properly, this is accurate but depends on your work / home life situation. Do you get EWCM?

Your main concern is you, but it is just as likely to be your partner so please switch mindset on that. He could have developed a varicocele, it could have been lucky with your first child, he could have an infection... there are so many things. As women, we often think it's us, but statistically it is just as likely to be him.

many trusts won't give you clomid either it's very much a lottery

Your results were "a bit lower" so not indicative that you aren't ovulating at all and the doctor is right in that the tests aren't all that accurate if your cycle isn't regular as a day or two either way you'd likely have got a different result