First Fertility Clinic Appointment

[SunshineS1]

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to post for some information/advice really. Me and my partner have been ttc our first for 2 years with no success. We went to see the GP in December and my partner has had a semen analysis. I have had blood tests, an ultrasound and both have had sti checks. All came back good and clear.

We were referred to a fertility clinic by our GP and after a long wait we finally have our first appointment with the fertility clinic in 2 weeks.

I was just wondering if anybody can advice on what usually happens at the first appointment? Is it similar to the first appointment with the GP?

Any info helpful!

Thank you x

I can't remember all the details, plus ours was during covid so all remote, but I think we went through our medical history and test results and make a plan of what to do guided by the doctor.

If your partner's semen analysis was ok then they'll probably recommend regular IVF rather than ICSI, and normally clinics have a preference on whether they do long or short protocol IVF, but they might also make that decision based on your AMH/other health factors for you.

We talked about when we wanted to begin, and also did lots of consent form signing, though they may send you away with links to videos to watch/things to read first so you can give informed consent. Factor in about 700 years to read all the info and sign all the forms!! 😱

Good luck, hope it all goes well for you. And try not to be too nervous, they are amazing at making you feel at ease and have seen it all before. I've burst into tears for no reason at multiple appointments, just being overwhelmed by the process finally getting going, and they're very good at looking out for these kind of reactions.

Thank you so much for your reply!

Hahaha honestly at this point 700 years going through forms and links don't seem so bad at this point!

Thank you so much, very very helpful! Everything came back fine from all of our tests apparently. I just didn't know if the clinic would want to re do all of these tests etc when they were only done a short amount of time ago.

Hopefully fingers crossed the process doesn't take too much longer now. I am very nervous but I'm sure it'll get better!

I hope everything went well for you!! X

I'm in the exact same situation at the moment, TTC just under 2 years with zero success, no issues on initial tests, we have a telephone appointment with the fertility clinic in 2 weeks. I'm hoping they're going to give us a schedule for the next tests and a timeline for when we'd expect to start IVF. My GP didn't do a scan so I'm assuming I'll need that. Have you had an HSG/HyCoSy done?

I have a gynaecology appointment coming up too. An ultrasound and an internal check. It really is in the forefront of my mind. Me and my husband have been trying for 20 months with secondary infertility.
I’ve had blood tests which were fine.
it’s strange but you almost wish something was wrong so I can have an explanation.

I’ve been using a clear blue fertility monitor and it’s not helped. I’m ovulating and having regular periods.

sending you love xx

Hi, thank you so much for your reply.

I'm so sorry, infertility seems to be much more common than I ever realised before starting this journey! I wouldn't wish it upon anybody. I would definitely recommend pushing for an ultrasound if you can, you almost feel a sense of relief afterwards if everything is okay (even just for a short while). Mine was a while ago now. Haven't had a HSG, the lady at my ultrasound did suggest that was the next step but my GP have never referred for me to have one. I'm assuming that'll come up soon! Fingers crossed we all get somewhere soon! X

Thank you so much, I hope everything goes well for you! Fingers crossed!!

I understand what you mean, I said this to my partner yesterday. I almost wish they had found something that was fixable. At least we would have an answer but 2 years later and still no answers. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

Please keep us updated as to how your appointment goes! Are you nervous? Xx

It's so tough, isn't it? There is absolutely nothing abnormal so far. We're now 30 and 33, healthy bmi, non smokers, don't drink heavily, I have regular periods, seem to be ovulating, no previous illnesses that could have affected fertility. If there was something I could work on I'd feel better! My only issue is stress (work and infertility related) so I'm trying to adopt better mental health practices, but easier said than done!

Have you told anyone you're trying?

It honestly is, I found it all so exciting when we first started trying and I didn't realise how hard it would be! We're exactly the same, no obvious issues at all. All tests have come back fine, both healthy. However, I am in the same boat as you when it comes to stress. Both for the same reasons, it's so hard to stay relaxed and calm though when it comes to it isn't it!

I've only told my friend from work but in all honesty I wish I hadn't. I believe she does try to be sensitive/understanding but I don't know. I get the usual "you just need to stay positive and relax, you're not helping yourself" "stop thinking about it and it will happen" it's infuriating. She's actually pregnant now so does make it harder.

Have you told anybody yourself? X

It's impossible to stay relaxed! My husband helpfully advised me to try not thinking about it, which nearly led to murder 😆. You'd think after 2 years that you wouldn't feel the monthly disappointment so much but somehow I still get my hopes up every time.

I've told our families - we were getting a lot of hints about not waiting too long, and then my sister in law got pregnant so it was good to have some understanding around why I might need to take a step back from baby showers etc. Some of my friends know too. I got a lot of similar comments about relaxing which is less than helpful!

That's very hard with your friend getting pregnant - my SIL was similar, I confided about our issues and found out she was pregnant a couple of weeks later! I was happy for them but it was pretty gutting on a personal level. She's just given birth so that's a bit tough at the moment.

Yes I am nervous but I’m at the point where I almost want them to poke and prod at me!
I am wondering where my journey may be heading, I’m very much in the do whatever pay whatever category whereas dh is more laidback and says let’s just stick with the one!! Which infuriates me and he’s like for it and annoying asks me “if I’m pregnant yet” and then depending on his mood will then says we need to get on with our lives.

After this scan that’s all the NHS will do for me I think - due to my BMI being 35 also with me having one child there’s no way they would offer treatments.

I wish there was a simple way of going to a private scan for like £60 or something just to see if there’s a follicle or something progressing? I’m surprised we can’t stick a camera up there and monitor the egg ourselves and the journey!!
I just want to know where it’s going wrong, the implantation. The semen fertilising the egg? It just consumes me.

It honestly is impossible!! Don't get me wrong, I have attempted the whole "relaxed" approach, along with obsessive testing with opks and timing it etc and also just doing it whenever we actually felt like it. Unfortunately 2 years later we're still in the same boat so I don't think "relaxing" is cutting it😂

Do you feel any better having people know what you're going through? I have thought about telling my family but I don't have the best support system anyway so I didn't think it would make much of a difference. I would love to have people to talk to and confide in but sometimes I honestly don't know if it would help. Do you think it helps you get through it?

Yeah it definitely is harder now, of course I'm happy for her and I wish her nothing but the best. It's also upsetting and hard for me on the other side. I honestly leave work some days and I'm either exhausted or crying to my partner! X

Aw gosh, I've got everything crossed for you! It's an awful feeling, I'm exactly the same. Just wishing for anything at this point as long as it results in a healthy pregnancy😂

You can book for a private scan, I was looking in to it myself as I was waiting a long time for the nhs one! Im sure it's around £70-80 in my area anyway, it's apparently more thorough than the nhs one too. It's definitely worth looking into if you can!

Does anybody know you're ttc again? X

It did help I think, it's nice to be able to blow off steam and talk through things with someone. My mum keeps saying she's sure we'll be successful and she knows it will all turn out OK in the end though, which isn't as helpful as she thinks it is! If you don't think you'd get much support I can understand being reluctant to share though, it's a very personal thing and it did make me feel a bit vulnerable letting other people in.

How is your partner dealing with it? Mine is very pro-active with appointments and that, but doesn't like to talk about the emotional side very much.

Heya - we had our first appointment last week after being referred via our GP. There were some forms to fill in and return beforehand then at the appointment the consultant just went though them all in a bit more detail and did a transvaginal scan. She then went on to say that she reckons we'll be pregnant by Christmas (!) and if not she'll happily start IVF in the new year without having to go back through referrals etc, just to call her secretary directly and get it all started.

Tbh I was a little disappointed. I think I have low progesterone (spotting before periods, short luteal phase and borderline or low results) but this was dismissed as I'm getting a regular periods so I'm ovulating. They also suggested I didn't need a HyCoSy or similar as I had a miscarriage in September 2021 so everything is 'working fine'. Ultimately 19 months of unsuccessful TTC was put down to my age (36, just) and my husband's vaping habit.

Infertility is really difficult but unfortunately more common than you think. Good luck with your upcoming appointments, I hope they offer a bit more insight and further options than mine did.

Hi @SunshineS1 I don't have time to read all the other comments but...

My first appointment was just for me (as with many of them tbh) and it was with a gynaecologist from the hospital where I would receive the treatment. It lasted about 30 mins. He went over both our results in detail and specified next steps. He said I should have a HSG to tick that off the list and I needed to have my rubella blood test to check for immunity. He applied for our funding for us and said we didn't have to use it immediately. He then booked in our appointment with the doctor who took me through the protocol they would recommend.

I had the HSG about 6 weeks after this appointment - all clear. I also had the bloods. The only appointment which we both had to be at was our nurse consultation at the hospital where we ran through the protocol in detail and all the paperwork was checked. Hope that gives you an idea of how it worked here at least (London based).

I happened to be pregnant at that nurse consultation without knowing - 2nd cycle after HSG but could be coincidence.

Good luck, always believe it can happen, particularly with all clear results as you have! X

Yeah I get that, even when people think they're helping they're really not! My friend is the same in that sense, I don't think people realise what they're saying is insensitive.

My partner is okay, he's the same. Doesn't really open up much, I know he feels the same way I do but he definitely doesn't express it as much as me! He had more of a relaxed approach for the first few months but now I think he's realised it just doesn't seem to be happening even when we're doing everything right!

How are you dealing with it? It's very mentally tiring sometimes!

Thank you so much for your reply. I am so sorry you didn't get the outcome you wanted, that's awful! I would definitely be disappointed too if that's how mine goes.

How are you feeling? Have they just left you to carry on trying and see what happens? I don't understand how they can be sure you'll be pregnant by Christmas. It honestly infuriates me when I hear things like that! Maybe it's just me because I'm emotional about it all now but I don't understand why they think it's going to happen just because they can't find anything from the get go. Is there nothing more you can do at the moment? X

Aw how amazing!!! Thank you for that, really really helpful. I'm going in blind so it's nice to have an idea of what's going to happen. The appointment in a couple of weeks is for gynaecology actually, I didn't realise that was just for me🤦🏻‍♀️

How was the HSG if you don't mind me asking? I've got a feeling I'll be referred for that and I've read mixed things about it which makes me anxious, was it painful at all?

Congratulations, I'm so glad it worked out for you! X

@SunshineS1 for me the HSG was absolutely no problem at all. I barely felt it to be honest and I had prepared for the worst. The nurse at the head end talked and talked and talked trying to distract me and the doctor who did it was clearly very experienced so maybe that was why, but I didn't even really cramp at all. Try not to be too worried about it!

Ye so it's a really female driven experience which I found quite annoying because I felt like I was having to organise and drive the whole thing on behalf of both of us. We booked a joint discussion with the doctor when we were deciding when to start because I felt my OH hadn't had a chance to ask all the questions whirling round in his mind. That helped.

Good luck x x

Hi @SunshineS1 my appointment was referenced gynaecology but both me and DH were expected to attend so it may be worth checking?

I feel ok about it, although I have made an appointment with my GP to see if they'll prescribe progesterone. I don't see any harm in trying it and there has been lots of research on it recently about how it can support pregnancies, so we'll see... I did think about booking in for a private HyCoSy just for peace of mind but I have to have an initial chat with another consultant first, then the procedure so it all adds up £££ - I'll see how I feel about it next week and may just go for it!! The hardest thing is trying to get DH to quit vaping.... The consultant said we can't have IVF on NHS until he's quit for at least three months

I have good days and bad, every now and then it hits me really hard AF arrives yet again. I try to keep an eye on my calendar and not schedule much social stuff around then, so I don't have to pretend everything is fine. I'm seeing a counsellor for the work related stress and she's really helpful too - sometimes you just need to hear someone else tell you that you're not being pathetic or dramatic for finding it so hard!

Let me know how you get on with your appointment, we can compare notes! They want me and DH to be on the call, which is good because he's a lot more assertive than I am 😂

That's definitely put my mind at ease with the HSG, thank you! I'll see what they say at my appointment, the lady at the ultrasound said that would be the next text but it's not been mentioned by my gp or anything yet.

Thanks again! X

Thank you for that, my partner is going to come anyway just in case so fingers crossed we get a little more info then.

It's definitely worth a try with the progesterone, I don't see why not! If it can help then I'd give it a go!

Let me know if you do go for it and how it goes, private is the best option I think but it's so expensive. But apparently it's so much more thorough, could depend on the area though!

I hope it all goes well for you x

Haha yep I'm the same, some days I genuinely am so positive and just think "well we can always keep going" and then the next day I'm sobbing to my partner. It's a whirlwind this whole ttc isn't it. I look like a lunatic most of the time😂

I definitely will! It's next Friday, hopefully we get some more info/advice on what's going to happen now. I definitely don't want to be fobbed off, 2 years is a long time for nothing to happen! I'm the same, glad my partner is coming. He won't allow us to be fobbed off, I'm a pushover😂😂

Let me know how you get on though! Be nice to finally have someone to talk to! X

Hey @SunshineS1 , did you have your appointment on Friday? How did it go?