TTC is really not fun

[fsr111]

I need your help!

We have been TTC #2 since end of September. We're now on cycle 10. Got pregnant really quickly with DD and naively thought it would be the same this time around...

Anyway, have been using apps for a rough idea of ovulation, checking CM, going with the flow so I don't freak DH out, but not really using OPKs and BBT. Have a pretty standard cycle, period usually arrives when the apps say it will.

Starting to lose hope / faith / enthusiasm for DTD (lol!). Am I being stupid not investing more effort in to OPKs? Can anyone help a poor girl out with some 'beginners' advice?!

Assuming you have a normal cycle, then no there is no point in adding these things. Just have sex regularly eg every 2 days from CD9-18.

And yes, TTC does suck. Gets worse the longer you're at it

How about buying a really cheap bunch of paper ovulation tests online? And then you can find out exactly when your ovulation is

My period got regular to 28 days after a few years on the pill but my ovulation was actually earlier!! My natural cycle was 25 days when I was younger. Got pregnant the month I had to fly out on my supposed ovulation period 😂

Add in clear blue ovulation tests, temp taking and pre-seed - got pregnant v quickly 3 times using these.

Urgh yes. TTC DC3, I have an 8yr old who was unplanned, 4yr old who took 6m, had an unplanned pregnancy which resulted in ruptured ectopic and now I’m about to go into to cycle 10. I use OPK, dabbled with BBT, take every supplement. I’m so fed up

Agree it gets old fast (and it’s also lots of mental gymnastics for women that men don’t really engage in). It depends on what your strategy is now but OPKs helped me realise I ovulated on day 19 of a 28 day cycle. So if we started dtd regularly from day 9/10 expecting a day 14 ovulation, but ran out of steam and missed a couple at the end, we were massively reducing the odds of conceiving.

I’ve been trying for about the same time and have been using OPKs but believe me it doesn’t make it any more fun. This month it has all definitely started to feel like a chore to me. We also conceived the one month I didn’t use OPKs (led to a chemical). So no advice but share your frustrations!

Thanks everyone for your replies. Sorry a lot of you are in the same boat. The novelty definitely wears off pretty quick.

I might try a couple of cycles of cheap OPKs as suggested just to be sure when ovulation happens. Thanks for that idea. I've been worried that the pressure of knowing that I should be DTD on a specific day or two is going to kill my enthusiasm even more...

Yes, I'd caution that OPKs kill your enthusiasm. I'd also be cautious about telling your DH as the pressure can kill an erection too!

2 1/2 years into TTC we have binned the OPKs, they're adding nothing but stress and pressure now

We are 9months in now. Pinpointing every ovulation using OPKs, hitting what I thought was the bullseye every month and still nothing. Killing me not knowing if there’s a problem. I got basic bloods and an ultrasound for peace of mind and nothing showed up. DH reluctant to do sperm test as he feels it’s too early (think he fears the results). Seeing growing baby bumps of people who Started TTC after we did is really heartbreaking and I’m finding it harder and harder to deal with. I actually find myself having social anxiety- I get a sense of dread meeting up with girlfriends as I fear they will announce they are expecting. Everytime someone refuses a glass of wine when out for a meal, I panic. It doesn’t feel normal to me or in my character at all and I hate it.

@IslaO I'm sorry you're in the same boat. I totally know what you mean about fearing friends pregnancy announcement. I just had one recently and it was like a stab in my chest (Sorry, that sounds really dramatic!). It's not like me at all either, and I am happy for my friends, I just feel like I can't deal with it.
I also hate the fact that my life is completely on hold. It's a rough ride, I totally feel your pain.

@fsr111 yes!!! The life on hold thing is devastating. Considered a big trip to South America this summer but opted against it to be on the safe side. I’ve drank more NA beer than I care to even think about. I never let loose anymore and all for nothing so far when others seem to live life as normal and it just happens. I also fear becoming ‘that’ person that people worry about sharing their news with because it will be upsetting.

Things I’ve found helped:

feeling like I’m taking action (getting proceive supplements for both of us and making some dietary changes)
focusing on other goals (house decorating mainly)
using OPKs to know when I’m ovulating
deleting Instagram

all of the above goes out of the window with a new pregnancy announcement

I got a bunch of cheapy ovulation tests and found out I ovulate on day 20/21 of a 30 day cycle. Got pregnant that month and I think I was missing it before. I used them in the morning and evening and it was really clear to see when I was ovulating. Best money I ever spent.

Thanks for the encouragement @Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou, am going to give it a try this month. My worry is that I'm going to see I'm ovulating and then for whatever reason (working away, nights out, trips away, etc.) we won't DTD on that exact day and I'll be disappointed, and at the moment I don't think I can handle any more disappointment!!

Just a question to you ladies that suggested OPKs are a good idea. What's the process? Is it better to do them at the same time every day? Twice a day? Any tips greatly appreciated.

@fsr111 I personally think you should do the OPK twice a day. I have often done one in a morning that's negative and then one later in the evening that's positive.

I think it’s different for everyone but I take them once daily and I’ve never missed my peak. Same time every day is the ideal but again I’m not religious with it. My line stays dark for ages before peaking so I often have plenty of notice if I do want to start testing twice daily just in case.

I test twice a day because I only seem to get my peak in the evening for some reason! But morning gives me an indicator that it’s on its way

I think it actually took ages after pregnancy to not view sex as this very purposeful thing again after all the ‘trying’, it became such a chore and you were really having to force yourself to try and even make it slightly enjoyable but it’s like you both know exactly why you’re doing it so it’s just not sexy at all 🙈 I dread trying for a second due to all of this. First time round I did all the ovulation tests, the smiley face, the temperature, peeing into a cup every time I went to the toilet and testing it to see if I was at my peak yet. I even tested on my lunch at work 🤦🏼‍♀️ I mean it obviously worked in the end up but I’m really hoping I can take it easier next time round. We used pre seed on the month we were successful

@fsr111 I can’t remember which ones I used in the end up but it was the ones that go with the premom app, you can take a picture of each test and it gives you a number and makes a graph of when you hit your peak