How to go about TTCing dc2?

[WhoKnows]

Well I know the obvious

With dc1 we used a "lets see what happens" approach which worked fine, I had two or three (can't really remember) periods after stopping contraception and that was it.

I know I may not be so lucky second time but at first I think I am willing to try that again.

But having lurked a bit on the TTC boards I am wondering...

There seem to be people here that do all the temperature checking and ovulating checks straight away. Is there a reason why? Does it help? I was under the impression that as long as you had sex two or three times a week then that would be enough?

Don't get me wrong, I can understand if a person has had problems TTC they would want to know if they were actually ovulating or whatever... but if you are just starting out TTC then why put yourself through all that stress?

Please don't think I am being judgemental, I'm really not, I suppose I am just asking if I am missing out if I just go for a more relaxed approach. I am more than willing to be told I am talking bolleaux and that I should learn what all the acronyms mean and start charting my temperature.

Thanks very much

bump

I went for the relaxed approach last time and got pregnant straight away but I think I was just lucky. This time (we have been trying for a couple of months) I think I will have to start ovulating checks as my cycle is all over the place and I don't think we have been trying on the right days, I'm also a lot more tired this time and don't have the energy to do it every other day so I feel a more scientific approach is needed.

I think it depends on the individual, your fertility and a lot of luck! I didn't chart or follow any fertility techniques first time around, got lucky second month...

This time it's been four months of no success despite doing it loads during what I reckon to be my fertile period...

I think I just want to feel I have some idea of whether I'm actually ovulating or not and just reassure myself everything is working okay by using ovulation sticks..

It kinda gives you something new to try after getting a series of negative results on pregnancy tests!

You may be fine this time round and get lucky straight away..

Message withdrawn

Agree with princess also about finding the time and energy to get down to it this time around! If you're really knackered it's nice to know it's probably a good day to be trying!!

yep, it's to do with conserving resources when there is a non-sleeping toddler in the house. You want to know you picked a 'good' day when it doesn't happen all that often!

I think it depends on how you are.

Both DH and I have backgrounds in science, and (until I had DD) I had a scientific job. When either of us start something new we tend to go out and do as much research as we can about what it is we're doing (it took us 2 weeks to choose a new pond pump while we calculated the losses due to friction down the different bore pipes ).

So when we decided the time had come to start TTC we did the reading and went out and bought a thermometer. I'd have found it more stressful to NOT temp than I did to do it. As it was it took 9 months to get a +ve test, but at least I knew I did seem to be ovulating and it was broadly in the middle of my cycle. It also meant that if we did have problems TTC I felt I'd already made a start on understanding what my body was up to.

DD is now 9 months old and we're vaguely thinking of trying for DC2 - so I'm digging out the thermometer again, partly because AF hasn't made a reapparance yet so I don't have a clue if or when I'm ovulating.

That's how it worked for me (reading that back I sound like a paranoid control freak, but hey ), but each to their own. If you're happy seeing how it goes then stick with it. At the end of the day take the route that will keep you most relaxed

I must say I loved temping. I didn't first time round, I did aim to do it on ovulation second time to follow some of these theories about getting a boy, and I also did Ov sticks. Was surprised that I Ov'd so late (CD17) and was pleased to see that I had hit the target so to speak! (fertilityfriend.com was very helpful). It's not stressful. And it worked as I got pregnant straight away! I actually cocked up the boy theory as did it all over the place well, it was Xmas hols, and quiet. I just enjoyed understanding more how my body worked. But not a prerequisite, especially if you don't want to do it.

Thank you all for your replies

I hadn't thought of frequency of sex with a toddler that is a very valid point

Having read through the thread I am almost tempted to have a go at the temping/charting thing just out of interest before we get going with TTCing. I'm not breastfeedoing any more and cycles got back to normal fairly quickly with a length of about 30 days.

Off to have a look at fertilityfriend.com, thanks again

As others have already said, it's down to your personal circumstances and preferences. I temped etc last time because, at 37 years old, I was really concerned about my ability to conceive. Before ttc, I read a lot about fertility rates in older woman and there are some scary statistics out there. I needn't have worried though because it only took us three weeks to conceive in the end.

I found that I really enjoyed the whole temping and checking of fertility signs - it was like I got to know my body and how it works a lot better. A lot of people rely on temping for contraception as well as pregnancy achievement.

Now I'm 39 and ttc again. I've found temping really useful this time too because my menstrual cycle changed sooooo much after giving birth and breast feeding last time. Temping helped me to see how my cycles are gradually returning to their pre-pregnancy ways of operating. This is useful for me because, while we're half-heartedly ttc at the moment (we're waiting until we sell our house and move before we feel that we can ttc in a 'determined fashion' ), it's been five months since my periods started again and they have been all over the place. Without temping, I would have had concerns about not ovulating, long cycles, periods not turning up as expected etc.

I've recently started using Ovulation Predictor Kits for the first time (they're basically sticks that you pee on/dip into your pee), again because I was interested in and wanted to see how my body is gradually returning to its pre-pregnancy state. I haven't found them useful at all, I have to admit. For me personally, they add to the uncertainty rather than clarifying matters! They work for lots of other people though and are no doubt useful for determining when your best days for BDing are, should your time be limited!

Fertilityfriend.com is a useful site and does have some really good software to help you chart. You may not need to buy a membership though - this just gives you a few added frills, which aren't essential to your charting.