Trying for baby but planning hen abroad for next year

[miamiamia869]

Hi all I have been trying for a baby for about 5 months but the time has come to arrange a hen do for my friend May 2023. I want to go but if I fell this month would be due 2 months before. So I could be heavily pregnant have a very young baby and I wouldn't really be able to go. However if I don't full pregnant I don't want to miss it. It would cost a few hundred to book and I wouldn't be able to not pull out as would make it cost more for the others. I don't want to announce I am trying as I want to keep it private incase we can't fall ect. It's just something I don't want to share. What would yous do? X

That's a tough one. Since you are organising it could you confide in the bride? My sister was my MOH and told me one of my dates for my wedding may not suit her as she was trying. She did not say I had to move the wedding or anything like that! It was just an FYI so I got married on the 2nd date I was thinking. Thankfully as it turns out!! One date was in 2018 the other 2020.

But anyway sorry, if you can afford to lose the money and the bride knows you may not be able to go then no need to tell the others. You're right you can't pull out of the cost and up the cost for the others. That happened on another hen I was on, a girl who I didn't really know pulled out, I was sharing a room with her. Suddenly my room rate doubled!!

I think I would just plan to go and then if I get pregnant and can’t I would just take a hit on the money. I couldn’t personally really afford to do that but if I was going to be spending it to go anyway I wouldn’t mind if I couldn’t go if it was because of having a baby. I would happily lose out on the cost (as spent either way) if I could be pregnant

I wouldn’t put your life on hold for something that hasn’t happened yet. Plan to go and I agree with PP, if you get pregnant just take the hit or perhaps there’ll be someone who will want to take your place.

You do not put off your plans for a family for some naff hen do. That would be madness.

@Pollywoddles @Irishfarmer @allgoodthings84 ... yeah I think I agree. I don't want to tell the bride and we are all planning together. I know if I don't book on everyone will ask a million questions why. If by the time it is booked, I am not pregnant I will book it and swallow the loss of money if I do fall later. I can't really afford it but I don't think it will be a fortune and if I don't fall pregnant in the time I don't want to miss out or let her down. Then if i do fall before they book I obviously won't book and if i fall once its booked I'll pay my share so it doesn't make the others cost goes up. Only fair. Thanks for your help that's the way I was thinking so nice to get similar opinions as I didn't want to put my life on hold and not book anything. It may take me years to fall and I can't not book anything in-between. Thank you all xx