18 months and feeling sad

[tryingforbabyh]

I don't really know what I want out of writing this but AF has just arrived for the 18th time since TTC and I feel sadder than ever.
I will say there probably have been a few months within that where timing of DTD hasn't been perfect but still!! Why am I still not pregnant :-( I feel like I have been surrounded by people having success and I am really struggling to cope with that now.
We are 31 TTC baby no.1. Cycles generally 27-29 days, always getting a positive OPK on day 14/15 but haven't even had as much as a faint BFP in all that time.
I am slightly overweight (size 12/14) but so far have lost half a stone with a bit more to go. Aside from that both of us fit and healthy.
Doctors have done some basic bloods, tests and scans and have found no issues except I have a bicornuate uterus which isn't supposed to affect conception? We are on some waiting lists for some more help but they are fairly long and we currently don't have the funds to go down the private route (although it's something we are working on). I have tried a range of supplements, have tried tracking and not tracking to see if stress of tracking has an impact but no difference, tried various lubes, SMEP plan, different positions etc. I have run out of ideas of things to try and I'm struggling with that - I always feel better about things when I am being pro active.

Doctors don't seem worried and just recon that we need another 6 months trying naturally to get to 2 years whilst we are on waiting lists...really?! but surely if it hasn't happened in 18months it's not going to?!
Sorry for the really long post!!

Hello, I've recently been in your position - 28, size 12-14, trying for 18 months and blood tests and sperm analysis normal. Faced with a long wait for assistance and nothing else really to try! Not really an answer to your question but I tried to just improve my physical activity and diet a bit (they weren't bad before tbh) and just keep trying month after month until the next steps. Thankfully for us it did end up happening the month of our first appointment but I was mentally prepared for the next step (which brought on some unexpected emotions which I won't detail) which helped because it took a long time to accept we would likely need help. So...no real advice other than to let you know that you're not alone!

Has your husband's sperm been tested? On NHS they should offer semen analysis, a scan for you, AMH test, bloods to check ovulation. Then assuming that all looks good, they would offer intervention at 2 year mark.

I know it's so shit (TTC child one for 2 yrs 3mo, I'm 33yrs old).

Thanks both - I am working on diet and exercise, tbf for other reasons and just hoping it might help TTC. Had a scan, bloods etc and all fine except the bicornuate uterus but and sperm
all good too. I sort of wish we could find an issue and then could correct it!

Could you try fertility acupuncture and/ or fertility reflexologist?

@tryingforbabyh when AF arrives I am also at 18 months, so I completely understand how you feel. We have had all the tests and have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility, which is possibly the worse diagnosis when all you want is answers. I don't have any solutions for you, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone. This is the hardest thing I have ever been through emotionally and I am sure it is for you too, so I'm thinking of you. P.s. I was diagnosed with a septate uterus (at my recent scan they said it's a normal variant and heart shaped) and I have also been told it shouldn't affect conception. I can't help feeling it is affecting things otherwise I would be pregnant by now! But just have to trust the experts and in the background, start saving for IVF.

@tryingforbabyh I’m feeling exactly the same. We also apparently have no issues and live pretty healthy lifestyles so there isn’t anything we can change to improve our chances and are now just waiting on an IVF referral.

If you can, I would start trying to be pushy and see if you can accelerate your referrals – I’m a similar age to you, but about a year further on in TTC. I wish I’d been more demanding over the past year rather than just taking my GP’s word that they couldn’t refer me for further tests until the 2 year mark, and then assuming that those tests would all happen on the timescale the nurse laid out for us.

Thanks all! Nice to know I'm not alone but I hope we all get some luck soon!

I hadn't thought of reflexology so going to research that one - least gives me something to do! Last month I started to use the proov balancing oil which improved my luteal phase (this month was 14 days - first time in ages it's been that) and it feels like I've had a better period this month than the last few which hve been very stop start, old blood etc. so you never know!! I'm giving it 2 more months of using it (well hopefully one!)

X

reproductivereflexologists.org/find-a-reflexologist/

You are doing all the right things, it completely sucks and I’m so sorry!

Im a similar size to you so I know what you mean, just slightly chunky. I’m too trying to lose some weight and half a stone is a good effort.

On a different note, can you do period presents? Each time your period is due plan something that’s for you, a coffee break, massage, hair dressers etc then you have something to look forward too, esp if it’s something you can’t do while pregnant. I found this a good way when TTC and It was less hard (it’s hard I was still upset) but I tricked myself into thinking it was ok as I was then allowed a massage etc.

I love this!! I am totally going to start doing this!

Sucks that we have the inconvenience and physical pain each month before adding mental torture! This could really help me get through my time of the month!

@tryingforbabyh hi, I know this is an old post and hope you don't mind me messaging.

I'm just wondering if you had any luck or what your next steps were?
Currently approaching 18 months ttc #1 and have never had a bfp.. I just don't know if I can keep putting myself through this every month.

@ar91 - hope the OP doesn't mind me answering your question, but I did a quick username search and found that OP had some lovely news:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/4736366-giving-some-hope
and I also see a relatively recent post about their 12 weeks scan. Hope this is useful and doesn't come across as stalker-ish (I love a happy ending and always root for the OP in this type of situation ...)

I hope things get better for you soon @ar91 💐

@SchnitzelVonCrummsTum oh that's amazing news! Thank you for replying.
It gives me hope hearing success stories of people in similar positions to what me and my husband are in now ☺️
Struggling to keep the positivity at times but must stick with it! Xx

DS kept us waiting 6 years - 2 yrs before him had a molar pregnancy and banned from TTC for a year after stopping the chemo necessary to recover from that... Both times I got pregnant we were just about to start IVF.

DS is an only - two MC post DS at which point we gave up because of the shadow of the molar pregnancy potentially coming back...

But DS has just passed his driving test (first time). He was worth waiting for... don't give up!