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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Pressure that TTC places on couples

13 replies

OCM19 · 21/05/2022 10:18

I just wondered if anyone was in the same position as me?

the first few months of TTC was quite enjoyable, we enjoyed the sex but I ovulated at different times. this month we agreed we would really try, so we DTD quite a bit earlier in the week, but last night as we were beginning (foreplay not sex), my DH said it just felt so forced and he really didn’t feel it, so we stopped. He basically said that while we want a baby this didn’t feel like the right way of doing it. I’m not upset by what he said as his feeling as of course valid and I don’t ever want to put him in a position that he feels uncomfortable. I’m just sad.

typically I’ve got my peak OPK this morning and am just feeling very sad that our chances this month have gone. We last DTD on Wednesday.

is anyone else feeling the pressure of this TTC journey? Xx

OP posts:
ChagSameachDoreen · 21/05/2022 10:20

Absolutely. TTC really takes the fun and spontaneity out of sex!

My DH found it tough, and said he felt like a sex machine - not in a good way.

We were lucky enough to conceive this cycle, after about 9 months, and we both said that we're relieved not to have to have sex so much Blush

ChagSameachDoreen · 21/05/2022 10:21

Oh - and if it's any consolation, DTD on Wednesday and ovulating today could work! Our first was conceived after one-off sex five days before ovulation.

Original poster
OCM19 · 21/05/2022 10:23

Aww congratulations @ChagSameachDoreen That’s such wonderful news. Did you do anything different this cycle?

I’m just very emotional as I really didn’t expect that to happen and can’t help but feel like it may never happen. We’re lucky enough to have a DS, but when you want something so badly it does hurt your heart! Xx

OP posts:
Original poster
OCM19 · 21/05/2022 10:23

🤞 although a slim chance that’s good to know!

OP posts:
ChagSameachDoreen · 21/05/2022 10:27

Thank you!

Ironically, this was the month that i went for a fertility MOT as we'd been trying for a while and I'm 41. At the ovary scan, the sonographer said I had plenty of follicles growing, which gave me a sort of psychological boost.

Also, probably Sod's law, that I forked out a couple of hundred quid for testing, only to conceive on the next cycle.

Original poster
OCM19 · 21/05/2022 10:31

@ChagSameachDoreen aww typical, but so worth it 🥰xx

OP posts:
Regenbogen22 · 21/05/2022 12:22

@OCM19 if sex isn't appealing all the times it "has" to be done, there's always the good old syringe method 😉Helped take some of that pressure off us through the months of trying.

And worked for the pregnancy of this currently squirmy 30week old baby inside!

Diamondbabe · 21/05/2022 12:30

I think the key is to not have sex "too" early until you get your peak or a date before. Does he have to know when you are ovulating? I know it's kind of obvious usually when you jump on them initiating it. Can you mix it up and try and have a bath first or just try to not put much pressure on it (again hard I know). I would try to do it 2 days before and then the peak day if he is up to it. That's pretty good covering of bases then x

motogirl · 21/05/2022 12:34

I have a friend whose a obgyn, she advises couples to throw away the tests and calendars and just have lots of sex ... after a year of course she investigates but her advice is not to over think it

TheDaydreamBelievers · 22/05/2022 09:58

Yes, after 2.5 years I am sick of having sex thinking about conceiving. I feel you OP, it sucks and really has a negative impact.

GemB03 · 22/05/2022 20:51

It sucks. 18 unsuccessful months now and we’ve argued about sex so many times. It’s frustrating, makes sex a chore and I also never feel like sex when I’m not fertile anymore because it’s like why would you want to play a game you constantly lose at?!
You’re not alone in how you feel, and it made me feel so much better realising that we aren’t the only couple who’s sex life is being affected by TTC.

AJcats22 · 26/10/2023 08:54

I found your post from searching something similar as im currently struggling with this, in my fertile window, ovulate tomorrow and partner just doesnt seem to be doing anything to initiate sex, despite telling him its the best window and my attempts! Hard as i know the pressures it puts on them, but after 6 months ttc sex is starting to become a chore and i can see us arguing about it soon! Feel like this cycle will be wasted! 😩

The syringe method is starting to sound appealling

BananaPalm · 26/10/2023 09:24

Regenbogen22 · 21/05/2022 12:22

@OCM19 if sex isn't appealing all the times it "has" to be done, there's always the good old syringe method 😉Helped take some of that pressure off us through the months of trying.

And worked for the pregnancy of this currently squirmy 30week old baby inside!

I'd second the syringe method. A real life and sanity saver when you've been TTC for months/years. I don't know how people can cope without it.

I remember one evening coming home with my DH and he reminded me that we had to dtd on that day. My instant and very loud reaction was:"Oh nooo! It's today? Not today!" 🤦🏻‍♀️

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