Miscarriage - Can someone please tell me it gets easier

[Want2bMumof3]

Just that.
Can someone please tell me that once I'm past my due date it will get easier??

I thought I was starting to move on, but now that my due date is almost here I'm really struggling.

I'm really sorry for your loss. I was so so fixated on my original due date in my first pregnancy that it caused me such anxiety. I set off a balloon into the sky on the date to mark it for myself. It did give me a sense of peace and then I fell pregnant again the following month.

Doing something to mark the date is a good idea. How about planting a tree in memory? It's environmentally friendly and you get to watch it grow over the years :)

The tree is a good idea - releasing a balloon isn't the best thing to do but I was happy to.

In my garden, we also have a mum, dad and child scarecrow. We bought the little scarecrow after the loss and it's out there right now as a little reminder of our angel baby.

It does get easier. 💐.

I think planting something is a great idea.

From my experience, once the due date had been and gone it was easier for me.
I felt I was counting weekly to what I should have been etc.

But genuinely, it does get easier.

Sending love

I promise it does get easier, but it hasn’t become easy just yet for me.

What I like to think about is that when I have my baby in the future, I will know that I wouldn’t have been able to have that specific child without the miscarriages. This just helps me but I understand if it doesn’t resonate with you!

It’s totally awful and I’m so sorry - nothing prepares you for how bad it feels.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

We buried what I passed with a special flowering plant that flowers every year which we got as a wedding gift. Unfortunately it looks like it died. After so many years of such beautiful flowers.

I felt like I was doing so much better but this week is a downward spiral.
I keep punishing myself by replaying the first scan over and over in my head and feeling the relief, joy and excitement. And then allowing myself to feel the sorrow and pain again.

I'm so heartbroken.
I did everything in my power to help conceive and to ensure my body was as healthy as possible. I can't understand it.

I am so sorry tht you are also going through this. I love that positive thought. I hope it all works out foryou in the future.

Sadly this was our last chance. In fact we had already given up the week before we found out we were pregnant. Which just made it fel so much like it was meant to be. But obviously not.

I'm right there with you, my due date would have been 1st April (yeah I know, the irony wasn't lost on me at the time either)!

It completely sideblinded me, I've never known pain like it. I know it sounds cliched, but you really are not on your own, allow yourself to ride the waves until they calm 🤗

Thank you.

I know I just need to move on but I literally feel I can't right now. The house is a shit tip and I'm not managing to cook and clean because I well I don't know. I just procastinate all day until the children come home. Just sit on my own feeling sad and deflated.

@Want2bMumof3 you can't move on because you're grieving, which is absolutely how it's supposed to work. So cut yourself some slack; it's not procrastination, it's grief. I did the 'I'm fine' thing for about 3 months until the wheels came off. Happened again around my due date.

All you need to do right now is feed (stick something in the oven) and clean (give them a wash) your kids. If you can do that and manage to keep putting one foot in front of the other then you're already doing amazing. The shit tip house doesn't care about your feelings, so stop caring about the shit tip house for now.

Are you able to talk to your OH about how you're feeling, or are you just trying to keep it all together and keep going?