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Conception

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Original poster

DH does not want a third boy!

6 replies

Ttilla · 11/01/2008 09:59

I am sitting here, bawling my eyes out...

DH and I have two healthy, happy boys. A 4 and a 1 year old. We were always talking about having three kids... A few days ago I mentioned to my DH, that we should start trying again, as I'll be 35 in the summer, and would want to get pregnant before that.
He then came back to me last night, that he had been thinking, and as we have two boys already, he does NOT want a third baby, as he does not want another boy. I am absolutely gobsmached! I always imagined my life with three chidren...we should be delighted that we can have children...fair enough, we only have a three bedroom house, but my DH's only concern is that what if it is another boy.

Don't know what to do. I feel bitter and resentful. Sorry for the rant, but I had to get it off my chest.

OP posts:

beansprout · 11/01/2008 10:00

Poor you, sorry to hear this.
Does he want a girl or just not a third child?

Peachy · 11/01/2008 10:03

Dh wasn't particularly chuffed to be expecting a 4th boy tbh, but he dealt with it.

If the issue is purely gender then that's a bit odd, what's his issues with the boys you've already got? For us the issues were alrgely due to the ASD our kids are vulnerable to and which is mroe prevalent in boys; but it might be an excuse- maybe he really just doesn't want another baby?

Original poster

Ttilla · 11/01/2008 10:06

He says if we had a boy and a girl already, then he would want a third one. It's just he does not like the idea of maybe having a third boy.

OP posts:

scorpio1 · 11/01/2008 10:16

my dp has always wanted a little girl, we have 3 boys (one together, one each with another person).

he was dissappointed when we discovered ds2 was a boy(our baby together)for a few days. they are inseperable now!!

i do however think that maybe he does not want a baby as much as you, if he is so focussed on gender. i think when you want a baby you dont are what it is, or whether its purple or sky blue pink, you just want a baby, iyswim?

When i wanted another baby (am 27 weeks pg now) dp refused for about 18 months. we worked out our differences through a heart to heart and me not going on about a baby 24/7. i prepared him from the minute i got a + that baby was likely to be a boy and that he wasn't to be like last time - a baby is a gift whether boy or girl.

We are actually having our first daughter and he is of course very happy.

I think you need to have a sit down and ask him what the gender focus is about. And boys are the best anyway - ours are fab!

jaype · 19/01/2008 12:56

You could always go down the 'but we won't need that many extra clothes / toys etc as we already have a pile of boy stuff'... And they can all share a room for longer if they are same sex so that's the housing pressure dealt with for a bit. Some men respond well to the money saving approach!

lulumama · 19/01/2008 13:02

he either wants another child, or he doesn't. maybe this is his way of saying he does not want any more children. You need to talk, and see if gender is truly his reason, or if there is something else. you get what you are given baby wise, although there are methods that purport to allow you to choose your baby's sex, but for every success there seem to be lots who don;t get the sex they chose.

horrible situation for you to be in

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