Another BFN , feeling less optimistic each month

[Mariabombia]

Sorry in advance for the huge moan I just need to vent ...

This month we tried everything- conception cups, legs in the air, a host of vitamins, a session of acupuncture, pomegranate juice, raspberry leaf tea, light exercise, keeping feet warm during tww, opks, dtd every other day and then every day during smiley face time, went on holiday during fertile window, tried to not think too much about ttc, did 19 backflips and 20 star jumps daily 🤣

Everything seems to be ok, I seem to ovulate and, although my cycle can change by a couple of days each month, it's always in the normal range. My period doesn't usually last for more than 2 days though but that's always been the case so I've been told that should be fine.

Anyway last cycle I managed to wait until I was a day late to test but before this I genuinely thought this could be the one but as sure as anything AF just arrived and we got a negative result :(

Just feeling so deflated, I naively thought it would happen as soon as we started trying & now I just feel like it's never going to happen. Ive never had a positive test or any hint of a positive result. It's so difficult to think of anything else when you want something so badly.

Going into cycle 8 now, I know that's not too long in terms of TTC but it still stings like a b. I'm just finding it so difficult to 'just relax'. I know it can take up to a year but a part of me just can't compute why it's not working. It's started to really affect my dh too, we're both just feeling so sad about it.

Is anyone going through a similar situation, could really use a buddy to moan to about all this stuff.

Or has anyone been in a similar situation and has a positive story to tell, I could do with hearing one right now xx

Hey OP, sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Actually a two-day period is really short. I've heard that a normal period should be 3-7 days.
Everything might be (and probably is !) fine, but I'd look into the 2 day period at least. Talk to your GP and get them to refer you to a specialist for that.

Actually in your place I'd do a complete check up ; day 3 and day 21 bloods, and if you can get it done maybe an AFC count and a vaginal ultrasound to see what is going on. Mention the short period to whoever you end up seeing in case they can either reassure you or recommand something. I think in the UK you have to go through your GP (?) unless you go private. But for something like that if GP is unwilling (I've heard they can be awfully dismissive of women's issues) I'd go private if I could afford it.

Everything may be fine but it doesn't hurt to check. Lots of people will tell you to wait 1-2 years for fertility testing but I prefer a more proactive approach, especially when there's an indicator something may be going on (short period). If everything looks good you can keep on trying naturally with your mind more at ease, but if a simple blood test can give you more information I don't see why not do it.

The blood test ought to check for a number of hormones including TSH, FSH, AMH. The day 21 blood is supposed to make sure you ovulated. Have you used OPKs and do they usually give you reliable results (by that I mean, do they give you a positive around the time in your cycle where you should be ovulating ?)

The AFC (antral follicle count) gives you an indication of your fertility.

Want to add, I'm not in exactly the same situation but I did get concerned that my period seems to be getting shorter so I had a full check up done as I want to ttc soon (in my case I'm single so I need medical help to conceive anyway, otherwise no known fertility issue). I found a really supportive doctor who had no issue prescribing me the blood tests to make sure I'm not wasting my time ttc, so far everything came back normal).

Thanks for your response @Marty13 . It can be a lonely journey ttc.

I should have said on the post I have had a 21 day bloods test doing with my normal GP and a pelvic ultrasound a couple of months ago due to having some pain in that area and because of my concerns regarding the length of my period. I don't believe they checked AMH with this though or AFC during the scan(not that I'm aware anyway)

All came back fine, however she did say my endometrial lining was 6mm at day 22 which I think is on the thin side but when I queried this with the sonographer she said it was normal. I queried it with my gp after when discussing my results and she also said it's normal. I told her I've read a lot about needing to have at least as 8mm lining for conception but she didn't seem worried at all and said mine is fine so Ive just tried to put that thought to bed for a bit as who am I to question two medical professionals on the subject. They said they can't do anything else for me until we've been trying for 12 cycles which is fair enough really. We are seriously considering getting a private consultation though as I'm a bit like you in wanting to be proactive about it if there is something wrong.

How did your checks go? I'm glad you have a really supportive doctor ♥️When are you thinking of ttc?

I'm ttc after a MMC and it's been hard since. I try everything like you but every time I get my period it's a reminder of the loss of my baby and a message from mother nature saying "you failed", and it hurts me so much I don't want to be in this body.

Now AF is coming and I really don't know where to hide. I wish I could leave my body aside for the time I get my period and get it back when it's gone.

Also it doesn't help when friends around have kids or are expecting.

Just wanted to add .....having a had a lot of IVF a 6mm lining is too thin to support implantation and an ivf clinic wouldn't transfer an embryo at that level. Have a read up of foods you can eat that should naturally thicken your lining

@Mariabombia had your partner done a sperm analysis?

@Pluckedblueberry I'm so sorry to hear how you feel and of mc. I completely understand it though, it's like you do everything you can to be in control of the situation for the rest of the month but when AF time comes you just want to protect yourself and hide away from it.

Like you I'm struggling with constant reminders of children & know the heartache for yourself other people's pregnancy announcements can bring. To put it bluntly it's a truly shit situation. I just keep hanging on to the thought that it will happen one day ♥️

@doingitforthegirls yeah that's what I've read , as soon as the sonographer said it I was like wait... that's not thick enough and she basically said that Im in incorrect and it's fine. I told the same concerns to my husband and close family that know what we're going through and they've all said to me that I shouldn't worry myself about it if a medical professional disagreed with me and not to find worries where there arent any. Not to dr Google constantly etc. I did speak to the gp about it as well & she said I was incorrect too & that my womb still had time to thicken during that cycle.
I've added Pom juice, raspberry leaf tea , l-arginine and vitamin e to my routine because of this. AF still only 2 days but it is heavier since adding those things. Have you had issues with lining? What natural things did you take if so?

@FlyOnTheWall89 yes just waiting for the results on that. Hope you are well, I think I recognise your name from a previous thread

@Mariabombia okay good - it's so funny that there is so much focus on the female being the problem. I have done a lot of reading and listening and the reality is the threshold for our partners taking a sperm test should be much lower. It's so quick, simple, cheap and easy and it's just as likely to be a problem. I hope it comes back okay, although I guess you'd like some sort of answer as to why it's taking longer. I personally wouldn't bother with an AFC if you're ovulating. You're releasing an egg each month, knowing your AFC won't change that. Definitely look into your lining result - mine was 7mm and no one has mentioned it so far but I'm going to ask this week. I have short periods and again, no one has ever suggested this is a problem. I have 2 days where I wear a cup, neither day is really heavy. As long as it's regular and hasn't drastically changed recently, I don't think this is what is preventing a pregnancy.

Yes I recognise your handle too. Still trying, but have our IVF funding so just trying to decide when it's the right time to take it up and get going. My OH desperately wants it to happen naturally. I've resided myself to the fact it probably won't.

It could just be that you need to just keep trying, but I think it's great that you've lined up lots of tests so you're in the know. Oh also, the 2 supplements the hospital checked I was taking were Vit D and folic acid. There were not fussed about all my other ones. X

@Mariabombia hope you get your baby soon!

@FlyOnTheWall89 yeah you're so right, the simple test men have to do isn't exactly hard work for them 🤣 & could just as easily be the issue. However I did have some pelvic pain which resulted in the start of the tests, alongside concerns around my period length so I can see in our case why I was tested first.

That's interesting that no one has said anything about yours either. When in your cycle was that measurement taken? I'm having acupuncture and she said maybe it's not just about the lining thickness but the quality of the womb and the doctors maybe weren't concerned if that was good.I don't know, I can't help but think what's the point in trying naturally in vein if the whole issue is with my lining it's never going to work.

That's really good re funding for ivf! How long have you been ttc if you don't mind me asking? What did your tests say? Sorry if you've told me before on a different post, I find it hard to keep up!

If it's possible for you to get pregnant naturally I can see why your partner might want to try a bit more but I also understand if from your perspective you just want to get the ball rolling so to speak.

Thanks for all the advice ♥️

Urgh a friends just messaged me to say she's pregnant & started ttc after me & my husband . Such lovely news , hate that I feel so bitter about these announcements nowadays :(

@Pluckedblueberry you too!! ♥️♥️♥️

Hi everyone sorry to jump on but can anyone see anything or do I have line eyes 11dpo loosing hope I feel like I can see the faintest line literally barely there but not sure if I have line eyes

Sorry I don't see anything @Mummyjanexx x

It's frustrating @Mariabombia - I get it.

Pregnancy 1 - conceived on cycle 8
Pregnancy 2 - conceived on cycle 8
Pregnancy 3 - conceived on cycle 7

You're overwhelmingly likely to be pregnant by September as far as odds go. Good luck!

@Mummyjanexx I can't see anything sorry :( It's awful how your eyes can deceive you. This was my test from last cycle, I swear I could see a shadowy line but then came on so obviously can't have been🙈

@Chanel05 thank you, I needed to hear that!!
Did you do anything different on the months you got a bfp? Ive convinced myself there could be something wrong and spend way too much time moping around about it all. Wish I could 'just chill' as everyone tells me....

Dh has just been told he needs to wait another two weeks for a drs app to discuss his SA results. Brilliant 😒

@Mariabombia honestly, in each of those cycles I'd just given up and had no hope.

I'm now 6+3 with my second child (🤞) and I just did opks this time. Didn't get a proper positive opk though.

First pregnancy I dtd just the day before and day of ovulation, second pregnancy was the day before ovulation and twice on the day of, and this time it was the two days before and day of. So it really has varied for me!

Thanks I feel like I can see the faintest line guess not does 11dpo mean I’m pretty much out?

@Mummyjanexx how are you doing? Did AF show?

Well I woke up early hours with spotting still spotting now guessing I am out and u didn’t have a bfp will try again next cycle I guess

@Mummyjanexx so sorry! Hope you're okay. I hate day 1 :( hopefully next month!

@Chanel05 congratulations 🎉 I hope you have a healthy pregnancy 💕 thank you for the positive vibes xx

@Mariabombia I’m not going to put any pressure on myself and just relax I’m certainly not going to do any testing next time until af is due!
thank you x