Boyfriend wants me to get an abortion

[ChristmasEveBaby2022]

Hi,
So I found out that I'm pregnant yesterday and told my boyfriend of two years and he wants me to get an abortion because of our situation right now. I'm 20 and he's 21 this would be my first child and his second, we're not ready at all financially, live long distance and we're struggling to find housing. It came as a massive shock to the both of us but I feel as though I could find a way for it to work within 9 months and he dosen't. I don't want to have an abortion but I really don't know what to do

If you don’t want to have an abortion then do not have one. It has to be your decision.

It can’t be made for you by anyone else. It should not be.

I don't want to have an abortion

You have your answer. Tell him. If he is unhappy, then it is his problem.

@MarshmallowSwede

If you don’t want to have an abortion then do not have one. It has to be your decision.

It can’t be made for you by anyone else. It should not be.

Agreed.

It's your body, you do what you feel is right.

Outside of your boyfriend, I personally wouldn’t in this situation. Having a baby is hard enough when you already have all these things in place. Wait till you are older and more settled job, finance and housing wise then you’ll be able to enjoy this stage of life far more.

Where in the country are you based? Google pregnancy advice charity + your area. These charities can provide you with professional counsellors to think through these decisions and some times provide financial support or practical things like baby stuff if you do decide to keep your child

Don’t forget adoption is also an option if your don’t want to abort but also don’t feel ready to raise a child.

He must have been a teenager when he had his first dc. I really would think very seriously about continuing the pregnancy. I had my dd at 20, she’s 18 now and while I’m glad she’s here, life has been far from easy, and I’d support her in abortion if she found herself in similar circumstances. It’s very easy to get caught up in the excitement and romance of the idea of having a baby. The reality is a hard slog. I was a single parent alone at uni when she was born and I honestly don’t know how I managed. 20 is so young. You have all the time in the world to settle down. Live a little, just for you, first, would be my advice. I wish you all the best, whatever you decide

It's your body hun so it's your decision. I had an abortion and it's definitely a regret. If you know you want this baby you would feel mad guilty for a long time. Follow your heart x

Please don’t let anyone pressure you into having an abortion.
Everyone will tell you different things of how hard it was for them when they raised a baby when younger or raised a baby without the father but you know your own circumstances so do what feels right to you.
If you want this baby then please have it. As you say you’ve got 9 months to try arrange things and get the support you need.

Hey @ChristmasEveBaby2022 your username suggests that you have already visioned a Christmas baby, and that's quite telling on an emotional front.

I was in an almost identical position to you (but many years ago) and have spookily just written about that experience on another thread. The upshot was - talk talk talk through your feelings and options before making a decision. And it's entirely your decision. Please don't feel pressured to abort if you don't want to, but equally be ready to live with your decision long term too if you proceed with the pregnancy.

Access the support that someone unthread has suggested, but please be mindful that some Christian organisations have ulterior 'pro life' agendas which are pushing an anti-abortion dogma, and may not have your best interests at heart. They may also be in disguise and not appear that way from a first glance.

No one can tell you what to do, but a good friend and a supportive counsellor should be able to help you work out the best decision for you. No one on the internet can do that for you I'm afraid.

I wish you health and happiness, whatever you decide.