HELP HOW DO I TELL HIM I WANT ANOTHER BABY

[Fanargadeb]

i really really want to have another baby, i have a son of 8months and would really like to start trying for another baby, only prob is he wont talk about it, im only 19 and we werent planning to have elwyn but he s here, now i really want another. if i talk about it he just says yes great lets have another one but i think it needs to be discussed cos loads of people wud think oh look just just another teenage mum etc me and kris (my husband to be) need to discuss it but how to i sit him down to do it. He is a wonderful partner and an excellent father he s 23 so he s young too. id be 20 by the time we wud have another but wud u say it is still too young?? i know this is prob really confusing but that is how i feel CONFUSED of what i want. we both working parents we have our own business, brand new car and having a house built etc so we not the average young parents at all, financially we doing more than ok and our relationship between our selves and our son doesnt suffer everything feels right but why am i in 2 minds?? some one please help.

Personally I wouldn't want a gap as small as 18 months between babies, but it works for some, so if you want it, why not? I don't think 20 is too young either. One of the advantages of being an older new mum is greater financial security but if you have that already and want another baby, go for it.

What I can't understand is that if marriage is on the agenda for you at all, why don't you marry before having any more children?

i think , as you have time on your side, then wait and enjoy your time as the 3 of you a bit longer... wait until your house is built and your are married maybe?

hi ya i definately think you should wait as my cousin has two with that age gap and there are a nightmare!!!!

but yeah i do agee with the others wait til your house is built and then you can move in stress free and start making babies there.

i do think you should enjoy ds and watch him grow

Hi, I'm in a similar-ish situation (apart from age, I'm 30), DS is 10mo and I am really starting to feel broody, I think it's natural as your body has recovered from the first baby so tells you it's time to make the next one!

However, we have decided to wait a couple of years so that we have a bigger age gap, as I'd like to be able to focus on no.2 without a toddler around all day too. Also I am really enjoying DS and don't feel the need to change the situation in a hurry.

I think talking it through with your partner is key, sounds like you have a good relationship so why not just say you'd like to have a plan for the next few years, you could always suggest that you'd like to try for a baby after your wedding. (Also weddings can be stressful to organise so I'd recommend waiting til afterwards to TTC!) Good luck whatever you decide, but you do have time on your side so no need to rush imo.

Having a small age gap is hard work in the early years, but there are advantages to it later.

i was 19 when i had my son, when he was 7mths i was just turned 20, we got married and then 4 weeks later discovered i was 4 weeks pregnant with my now dd....it was very hard to cope with 2 babies, very hard financially , but we were luckily enough to get a mortgage on just dh's wage while i was 7 mths pg.... now we are reaping the benefits of two lovely children that play together and socialise within the same group of friends (all my friends children are the same sort of ages) and we have a lovely house to our name, i am a SAHM and dh has a very good, well paid job....i am now 22 and he is 24....still very young by anyones measures to have everythign we have, but we are happy. i'd think about it very hard, as we planned to have our second child when ds got to about 2/3....so i'd probs have just had my 2nd now according to the 'plan'.....but having said that we'd not change a thing now!!

oh and bwt i was breastfeeding and on the mini-pill when i concieved dd and hadn't even had a period since having ds but she obviously wanted to come into the world!!

thank you all for the advice, you ve all really helped. my first thought after having ds was to wait untill he was in nursery so i could then focas on the new baby when it happens if this makes sense? i just feel all over the place at the moment, i dont want a big age gap but at the same time you cant give equal attention to both at the same time it would be very hard i shud imagine. it just feels astho if i wait then wud it be shipping ds off to nursery cos i ve got a "new toy" to play with? im just being stupid now i know but so many things keep running thru my mind. thank you all again for your wonderful advice. x x x x x