Found out I’m pregnant with my partner of 3 years, our circumstances are not ideal, we both have a child with different partners, luckily my child’s father is very easy going, but his child’s mother - they weren’t together when their child was conceived, we’re just sleeping together - she would go insane and likely stop him seeing his child and make things very difficult. I still haven’t met his son because she won’t allow it - she doesn’t let him see his child without her present, think it’ll be going down the court route very soon. It’s very hard seeing my partner so depressed all the time.
I am not sure on my decision, my boyfriend has made it very clear it’s my choice and he’ll support me with whatever I choose, but has made it clear now is not the ideal timing to be bringing a baby into the world, I don’t disagree with this, it’s just hard being a female and I feel somewhat attached perhaps more than he does, I see the logical side but also see the emotional side to it too being a female.
But, I also care about him having a relationship with his son which is made difficult now, I would hate me being the reason it’s made even more difficult or stopped completely, this is my main concern but I can’t dismiss my feelings completely. I had an abortion before and I’ve never got over it, I think about it daily and I don’t think it ever leaves you no matter if the decision was best or not. I’m not sure I could go through that again… 
It makes me feel so depressed. But I know my boyfriend never seeing his son again would make him feel as depressed. We’re in a catch 22.
We have the best relationship we’re so in love, we do the most amazing things together, trips away, family days etc, hes my soul mate. I can’t fault him.
guess I just need a shoulder … 