How to know when to start TTC

[Hebe9219]

Hi all, this is my first post (hello mumsnet world!). Essentially my husband (32) and I (29) always wanted a baby and we have always pushed it off until we achieve ‚the next goal‘ to give our baby the best possible start in life. Now we are where we want to be - all settled, long solid relationship & happy marriage, bought a house with space, are both in reasonably well-paid careers, done everything on our bucket list holiday-wise etc etc ……..BUT how do you know when to take the plunge and actually start TTC?

I sort of hoped that getting everything in order I would wake up one morning and just know that this is the day we should start trying, but nope - nothing like that!

I should probably add that I tend to be an overthinker/worrier and that I‘ve noticed myself getting quite down when reading all the very sad stories about MCs, fertility battles and also struggles/regrets about raising kids. It can happen to anyone, so including me.

My adorable husband is super keen to get started, he‘s got no reservations whatsoever (wanted to start about 3 years ago!), but I‘ve shared mine with him and he understands and is being patient and not pushy. I‘m the one who’s got to pull the trigger, so the decision to TTC has been weighing on my heavily!

Thanks for listening to my rambling, really appreciate to hear your experiences /how you made your decision to start trying! 😊

If you want a baby then the best time to ttc is now… Assuming you’re financially and emotionally stable then the younger you are the better. You’ll recover from childbirth much faster and have much more energy for your baby at 30 than you will at 34.

And it is so much more fun than people tell you. The happiest people tend not to post much on Mumsnet as they’re off having fun with real life people, so you get a weird perspective on parenthood here.

I would start now. No time is ever perfect and you don't know what kind of journey you'll end up on so you might be thankful you started sooner.

I'm ttc my second soon (have only just come off the pill so waiting for aunt flow first), my timing isn't perfect but I'm taking into account it could take a while and if it does happen immediately then I can 100% make it work.

For me, I was waiting until I was 30. Like you I wanted to be married, in a good place financially and had all the holidays. I literally started TTC the month I turned 30. If I could go back time I would have started earlier. It took me 3 years to get my DS and it has been a very hard journey to get here. There are no guarantees in this TTC game so I would say go for it now and don't wait!

Why don't you just stop contraception and see what happens? It seems like you're in a good place in your life to TTC, and your fertility is as good now as it is ever going to be.

Thanks all for your encouraging words, team baby definitely has this one! @babyjellyfish I think you’re right, I‘ll come off contraception but not worry about cycle tracking etc for a few months and then start properly trying in the summer…

Start now, there is no guarantee you will be able to conceive easily. Some lucky people get pregnant immediately, for others it can take weeks, months or years!

You might need to ´ttc properly’ but equally it might happen very quickly once you come off contraception. Particularly if you and your partner usually have sex 2-3 times per week or more.
It does sound like you’re ready though! Remember once you get pregnant you still have time to plan for the baby’s arrival.

I would add that even when you want a baby and have been trying for ages, it's normal not to feel ready.

I still don't feel ready to be a parent and I'm 36 and my baby is one next week!