Stage fright

[DogsAndGin]

Is it just us, or is one of the hardest things about TTC, timing sex?!

We tried SMEP a few cycles ago and that was impossible because we were out of steam long before ovulation.

So, we’ve been using OPKs and timing DTD to coincide with ovulation.

We don’t normally have much sex, or sex drive - so ‘have sex twice a week and hope for the best’ would never work.

Is there a libido improver we can use? I’ve exhausted my lingerie collection!

Anyone else having this problem?

Just us then! Great.

Glass of wine to relax? x

My partners sex drive has lessened over the years (plus we have been trying over 10years).

I have found taking the pressure off helps, I was getting so stressed about timing early on it just put him off even more.

Also (now this is very unromantic only happens around the time I NEED him) I let him prepare himself if you get what I mean. Sometimes the whole foreplay, the build up etc is more work than the deed. So actually when it's time sometimes we just do what we need to do. Other times we do the whole lovey dovey stuff, but when I peak we both understand what is needed.

Also being open and honest with your partner, especially if you both have low libidos. We talk very honest about it all and now he's confident enough to say I am just not in the mood and we move on to the next night or even the next cycle.

I could have wrote this post myself!!! X

@RMS0209 oh thank god! Not just us! Thank you for responding

@beanchopper17

My partners sex drive has lessened over the years (plus we have been trying over 10years).

I have found taking the pressure off helps, I was getting so stressed about timing early on it just put him off even more.

Also (now this is very unromantic only happens around the time I NEED him) I let him prepare himself if you get what I mean. Sometimes the whole foreplay, the build up etc is more work than the deed. So actually when it's time sometimes we just do what we need to do. Other times we do the whole lovey dovey stuff, but when I peak we both understand what is needed.

Also being open and honest with your partner, especially if you both have low libidos. We talk very honest about it all and now he's confident enough to say I am just not in the mood and we move on to the next night or even the next cycle.

@beanchopper17 thank you so much 😊

@DogsAndGin we had some stag fright issues before but we weren't trying before so I didn't think about it too much, but I know he gets stage fright and struggles now when it's "important" times, but I keep saying I think we are trying too late so he said I need to give him a heads up so he knows the days, so we are going to try that for April and have everything crossed.

I really want to try SPEM but I'm worried it's too much pressure on him, don't know what to do 🥲 x

It's a total mood killer and DH has had stage fright a couple of times. I keep it quite vague about super important times to DTD...

@DogsAndGin 💯 there with you! We've been together 13 years. In the early days we were at it like rabbits..not anymore! 2 children down and a combination of shift work means our sex drive/life took a nosedive. Now we're TTC after a MC we only have sex to make a baby 😬..I wish we could just go with the 'if it happens, it happens route' but that seems impossible at the mo x

@TheDaydreamBelievers thank you, this is what I need to do, too. I just get too excited and end up telling him!

@calimc83 we pretty much only have sex to make a baby too, we’re young and haven’t got any kids - we’re just not bothered about sex we’re managing to DTD two times in the whole month, I just know if that’s even enough.

Thank you all for being so honest - you’ve made me feel so much better. I guess it only takes one sperm!

@DogsAndGin Yep! You're right - it really only takes one sperm and that one night 😆 do u use OPKs at all? I always heard that the more often u have sex the more you want it...x

@DogsAndGin DTD twice in the last 3 months hasn't worked for us 🥲
I track my cycle so I am aiming to try hit more fertile days before and after ovulation in April... I say this now...