6 months is a rough milestone

[tingalayo]

Hi everyone, I'm so sad today. I'm TTC for number 2 and I got my 6th BFN today. It took 9 months to get pregnant with my daughter and I always hoped maybe my fertility is fine and I had bad luck the first time, and second time I'll get there quickly. After 6 months of failures despite timing it impeccably etc I'm starting to think there is something wrong with my fertility and my daughter was some miracle! 6 months hurt so hard the first time and it hurts just as much this time, and I'm getting the same thoughts like I didn't get it in 6 cycles so I probably won't get it in the next 6 cycles either

That sounds very tough
But curious why you’re assuming it’s your fertility and not the other party’s?
Also I would say 6-9 months is probably not that uncommon, at least this time you can take heart from the fact you did conceive your dc1, it’s really tough when it’s the first time and you don’t know if it’s going to be possible.

Oh, my luteal phase isn't amazing so I assumed it was that - 12 days but with a couple days spotting beforehand although of course I got pregnant before with that. Could be my husband but I suppose when I say my fertility I'm using it as shorthand for our fertility! I agree first time round is worse because you don't know whether you will end up with a child at all, at least I have my daughter. I try to take heart that I've been pregnant before so technically I'm capable of it but I see secondary infertility is so common I don't know whether having had one child increases your odds or not!

I know it's hard and seems along time but it really isn't, it's actually average. It doesn't feel it, I had the same. Very quick with a MMC then 9 months for the next. That was hellish but the doctor said it's perfectly normal. Hang in there. Sending positive energy to you cx

Thank you so much xx

This is so similar to me. TTC #2 and had six unsuccessful cycles so far. Just feel like it’s not going to happen this time, have already had a conversation with my DP about when we might contact the doctor for further tests (we’ve agreed October).

It took 13 months to conceive DS but I’m just finding it a lot tougher mentally this time around. Not helped by the fact that all my friends seem to get pregnant on their first cycle of trying!

I conceived my son on month 6 and like you felt very low that month and was starting to wonder what was wrong? But sometimes it takes time, that's why most doctors wont doctor wont start investigating until you've been trying for at least a year.. I've just started TTC #2 also and feel the same as you hoping and praying that last time I was unlucky and that it will happen quickly for me but I am also mentally preparing myself for that fact that maybe it wont! My main goal this time is to not lose myself and our relationship in TTC.

Also, I conceived my son with a short Luteal Phase of only 10 days, I tested positive on 9DPO as long as its not below 6 I believe it's perfectly normal.

xx

9 months is normal. Not subfertile. I appreciate it's frustrating but you have to keep the facts in mind. 2 years (me) is subfertile!

6 months is a difficult month.

My first pregnancy took 8 months to conceive but I lost it to a mmc. It then took another 8 months to conceive my next pregnancy (with my dd).

I'm now ttc #2 and I'm on cycle 7. I also hoped that I'd conceive quicker but I just don't think that's my journey to be had - it wasn't the first two times and won't be this time either. Cycle 6 was a hard one for me too, but I'm quite optimistic now that I'll most likely be pregnant in the next few months.

Good luck!

When I was ttc many years ago, the accepted narrative was that the average couple took 6 months to conceive. However, amongst my friends we realised that most of us had conceived within 2-3 months, but a few had taken 12-18 months. Hence the average which is a really unhelpful concept.

I think we all get hung up on 6 months and think there's something wrong when it doesn't happen by then.

Good luck