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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Fertility after stillbirth

2 replies

Mi21 · 21/03/2022 22:38

My second baby died on their due date 5 months ago. Both first and second were easily conceived, about a 1.5y age gap. We’ve been trying again - which has, tbh, other than my first child been the only thing keeping me going - but no luck. I’ve only had a bit of spotting, one period and one month with positive opk results. Otherwise am getting day after day of flashing but not solid smileys - currently going into day 9 of flashing and am testing 4xday.

I’m worried that I’m not ovulating and that my hormones are generally not cooperating. Now I’ve started focusing on this, I’ve realised my periods have been really light for ages, so I wonder if I have some longstanding hormonal problem that hasn’t been picked up before. I’m 34 and a bit overweight (not lost baby weight).

I’ve convinced myself that I’ve been pushed into early menopause by the trauma, or that I have some longstanding thyroid problem or something. I want to be pregnant, yesterday!, and don’t know where to turn for asap help. Will the gp help with blood tests? Should I go back to the hospital? I will be under consultant care as soon as pregnant again - don’t know if they’d help now though when I spoke to them in debrief they were surprised periods not back more promptly and offered further discussions etc. Should I pay for private investigations, and where/at what type of place? I’d be really grateful for any advice as think another month of flashing only smileys might tip me over the edge...

OP posts:
Running365 · 22/03/2022 05:42

So sorry to hear about your baby. Sending strength as you navigate this time. My second boy died in NICU in December 2020 and we're trying again after waiting a year (traumatic c section so needed time to recover physically). I also conceived my first two babies very easily so when it didn't happen straight away this time I was so upset. I phoned gp a week or so ago and they were very supportive, been booked in to have bloods checked this month to check for ovulation and internal scan, and husband been offered sperm analysis. So I definitely think it's worth having a conversation with your gp soon. Mine was honest and said we wouldn't be eligible for IVF if it was needed as we have one living child, but said it would be helpful for reassurance and to see where we're at. Sending baby dust to you 💖

Boohoowhoareyou · 22/03/2022 13:36

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's devastating when you just want to be pregnant. The GP advised us to get rid of the sticks and focus on regular sex - a few times a week as this would reduce stress and be effective. I don't have any other advise on how to fall pregnant after loss- we did IVF. But what I can say is ask the hospital if they have a pregnancy support group for those who have experienced loss. It's incredibly hard being pregnant again and knowing others are on that journey with you was so helpful for us. Huge hugs to to you both

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