I’m sick of obsessing over this but I don’t know how to stop 😩

[L0ts]

Just like the title suggests really.. We’ve been trying to conceive baby number two since last September and I can’t believe how much more obsessed I’ve been this time around.

My son took 10 months to conceive and I was never like this, I was so unbelievably chilled out, I never EVER tested early.. in fact the only test I did do was the month we conceived and that was only because I was two days late for AF. So I don’t understand why I’m like this this time around.

I’m honestly driving myself insane. We had a chemical on the second cycle and I was initially so excited thinking it wouldn’t take as long this time around. But I was obviously wrong, I’ve had not even a glimpse of a second line on a test ever since, and trust me I’ve taken LOADS.

I hate myself because I know I need to chill out with the early testing and think ‘what will be will be’ but I don’t know how to, it’s literally taking over my life.. I’m embarrassed to admit but I’m 8/9dpo and I’ve probably taken 20 Internet cheapie tests so far, please go easy on me 😩

Anybody help?? 😩😩

I could have written this myself! TTC #2 since September. DS took 13 months and I was pretty chill with that. I am not chill this time around. I am obsessed and I just don’t know why or what I can do about it.

I honestly hate each month how obsessed I get with testing and looking for lines that aren’t there.

With my DS I tested on the evening after AF was due and didn’t even contemplate testing early.

I’ve just found out a friend is expecting after her first month of trying and I’ve found it quite difficult to take (normally that stuff wouldn’t have bothered me!)

Hi @Charl881 I’m so sorry you can relate, it’s truly awful. I dread hearing someone else is pregnant, thankfully it hasn’t happened yet but I just know the day is coming 😩 I have a fair few family members and friends who haven’t ever taken this long to get pregnant so nobody seems to understand. My SIL got pregnant accidentally, my best friend fell during her second cycle and my other partners sister took only 4 months. I seem to be the only person I know who takes close to a year to conceive and it’s really hard to accept sometimes.

I am exactly the same as you though, I am so utterly obsessed with it that it’s ruining my life a little. I take a test and I stare at it for an hour. I take pictures of it and analyse it all day. I know deep down it’s negative but I still torture myself by trying to find a second line.

I hope the day comes for both of us soon. I’m currently 8 or 9 dpo and already taken two tests today 🥴 I’m going to try my hardest now to wait it out. I have 6 cheap tests left and tbh I’m tempted to use them all up and make myself promise not to buy anymore. God knows why this second time around seems so difficult 😩

I just read the two posts from Lots and Charl881. Don't know if this is useful to you but I am a student solution focused hypnotherapist and I have learned that hypnotherapy is very good for dealing with these sort of negative obsessive thoughts and also very good at engaging our parasympathetic nervous system (think rest/digest - feed/breed) ... if you don't want to seek a solution focused hypnotherapist's help try to find ways to relax - that way you tell your brain that you are safe (anxiety is interpreted by your brain as danger and obviously you can't run away or fight as effectively if you are pregnant so it might well interfere on that front)

Hi @L0ts I hear you!
I'm exactly the same, except I have no children so it makes it all the worse! Feel like I am wishing my life away two week waits are the worst too ... :( x

I don’t actually have any decent advice because I was the same with our first. Took over a year and by the end we were like robots having sex it was grim.

For me, and it’ll be different for everyone, it was the stress of my job stopping us: the cycle after I changed jobs from a hyper intense micromanaged one to a chilled one with infinite autonomy we got our BFP.

You’re not alone in this. It happens aaaalllllll the time.

I was the same with my first too and I was so determined not be like that this time but here I am only just beginning TTC #2 and already obsessing! Things that helped me previously were things like taking a break from the forums, trying the odd cycle where you take no tests opks etc.. just DTD as much as poss and see what happens you're be surprised how much relaxed you feel even just for one month, also get out and have fun, enjoy spending time together which doesn't involve talking TTC. Small little distractions will make a huge difference! It's definitely hard I feel your frustration xxxxx

How are you @L0ts

Also TTC #2 and also obsessed and crazy and weeing on too many things. (Pregnancy tests, not furniture or anything.)

For me it’s exactly like No.1: where we conceived first cycle, chemical – which was like a body blow in terms of surprise and shock and grief as I had no idea that could happen, so then I became obsessed because I knew I could get pregnant so why wasn’t I? Took eight months after that.

This time round I swore I’d be sane, then first cycle… chemical. So now I’m crazy and obsessed again and I can’t work out why I can get pregnant first time out the traps then not ever again it seems?! Aaargh. ::squints at BFN test with a torch::

@RMS0209 Thank you for asking!

AF arrived this morning, bang on time.. So I’m back to CD1 of cycle number 9 😩😔

@L0ts think positive! Fresh cycle think of anything you can add in/do differently this month.
I don't have much faith for this month as only DTD 2 x in fertile window one was peak and one was OV day (if I hadn't ovulated sooner) so you will more than likely have me for April support too! X

Reading this thread nodding along - it’s just so hard not to obsess isn’t it - I feel like whatever point in my cycle I’m at it’s constantly on my mind.

Has anyone had any success in ‘just trying to relax’? The famous advice that’s just so much easier said than done! I’m currently on CD10 and if we’re successful this month the due date would be at Christmas - obviously not a huge problem but if there’s any month I might be able to not pin every ounce of hope on being successful, I think this is the one.

The problem is, even though I’m telling myself I won’t use OPKs this month and will just dtd as much as we can, I’m still struggling to relax and in a way feel more worried that we might somehow end up missing ovulation.

Is anyone else feeling as crazy as me!?

@abbaroony I hear you!!!

It's bloody hard, I was like that when we were trying for DC2. Took nearly 2 years and a diagnosis of secondary infertility. It's such a hard journey when all you want is to just get pregnant. I have no advice really, just sympathies. One thing I would day though is that when my photo memories come up from before we conceived DD, it seems absolutely crazy to me that it was just months/weeks before we would get pregnant with her. It really helped put things in perspective. You never know what is just round the corner

That’s exactly it. It took us 5 months to get pregnant with our daughter who we lost at 23 weeks in December - since then the only thing I have been able to think about is getting pregnant again. I know it has only been a few months but I definitely feel more desperate this time around.
Sending strength to everyone also struggling - it really is hard.

How are you all?

@RMS0209 Thanks for checking in! I’m on CD1 of cycle #10 today 😔 Really starting to panic and worry as to why it’s not happening for us. Feel like we’ve tried everything at this point. Bought the Clear Blur digital monitor last month and tried Preseed and still nothing 😩😔