Sterilised in 20's

[Lou98]

Hi, I wanted to know if anybody could share their experience or if they know much about it!

I'm currently pregnant with my second. I'll be 24 once she is born and we are both 100% sure that this is our last.
What I want to know is - has anybody in their 20's successfully managed to be sterilised without needing to put up a fight? I'm hoping the fact that I will have 2 kids will go in my favour as I have a friend who was refused sterilisation as she was early 20's and had no kids. She is 28 now and has a daughter and has still been having to fight for it.

Just to add as I'm sure it will be asked - my Partner is going to have a Vasectomy after the baby is born but I would also rather be sterilised to be covered. It also means if we were to ever split up further down the line it isn't something I need to worry about

I tried to get sterilised at 24 after escaping DV with two kids. The female Dr says sure, I'll get the book and sort it a date. The head guy came in and said Nope! You have no idea what you will want in the future, you may meet another man and he may want more children. So my fertility belonged to a man that I had never met, may never meet and he didn't give a crap that I was bipolar and had horrific PND.

But turned out he was actually right to refuse me. I did meet another man. We had another two beautiful children and C a much better life than I had believed possible. Don't get me wrong, had I have been sterilised then I would have absurdly lived by my choice and just had two kids. But I'm glad he said no . And I'm not suggesting you will regret yours, just telling you my story.

@myceliumama sorry you went through that but glad that it worked out for you in the end!

I am sure that this is my last though. I always wanted to be a Mum, I love my Son so much but after he was born I wasn't 100% if I wanted another or not. My Partner wanted two but as much as I love being a Mum, I love that he's getting older and a bit more independent (he's only 10 months so still very much a baby). We then accidentally fell pregnant with this baby and there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to keep it but it did just make me realise that I'm glad I'm going to be having the baby stage be done close together. I really wouldn't want to go back to the start again.

I love my Partner (fiancé) and don't see us splitting but of course you never know. If we do though he is an amazing Dad and I know he will always be involved with the Kids. I have the family I always wanted and I'm so happy with it all but it has made me certain that I don't want more than two.

I hate that we don't have that control over our bodies just "in case" we want another. There is cases like yourself where that has been the case which is brilliant but there's also cases (like my friend from the OP) who then go on to have a child that they didn't want. She is a brilliant Mum but she is still adamant she didn't want her Daughter and wished they sterilised her when she asked

"I hate that we don't have that control over our bodies just "in case" we want another. There is cases like yourself where that has been the case which is brilliant but there's also cases (like my friend from the OP) who then go on to have a child that they didn't want. She is a brilliant Mum but she is still adamant she didn't want her Daughter and wished they sterilised her when she asked"

I absolutely agree. Sterilisation was absolutely the best thing for me at the time I asked for it. I was very lucky that it worked out for me, as all most people in my shoes would carry on the same path ( school drop out, teen pregnancy, dv, severe mental health issues, substance abuse etc) and I was already at risk of being put under social services as I was struggling so much.

Sorry posted to soon. It would have been the best for me at the time. But I was incredibly lucky that I had a wake up call and managed to get into uni dispute zero GCSEs. I met a man that literally saved my life and so I married him and he helped me turn everything around . But most people in my situation unfortunately do not and adding extra children to the mix mages it more likely for SS intervention. I see it at the time in my very low income home town with my old school friends. They have requested sterilisation and been denied and gone on to have 3-7 kids and are on their knees. They have been failed by the refusal. Women in DV situations aren't always allowed the luxury of contraception etc.