How did you know the time was right to have children?

[msc6199]

Just that really! What kinds of things "aligned" for you which made you think "let's go for it now"?

I know there is never a perfect time or a time where all the boxes are ticked, so what kinds of things in life felt good enough for you to feel ready to TTC?

I set myself some life goals and when they were all completed, we started trying. These were things like owning a house and earning a certain amount of money. These goals were mostly in the pipeline anyway.

That being said, there is no perfect time. Think about all those couples who conceived mere months before covid kicked off! They probably wished they'd done it at a different time.

If you feel your relationship is in a good place and going to go the distance and you have a roof over your head and can pay your bills, then it is probably a good time

Everything got cancelled due to covid, both in our early 30s, homeowners and spent a lot of time renovating our dream home, good careers, stable marriage and money in the bank, we really had zero reason not to.

Best thing we ever did!

Ultimately it was when 2 lines popped up on the test, but we had agreed years before that we wanted buy house - marry - have children in that order. We had already done the first two, so were being a little less cautious than we would otherwise have been. It was a happy accident! I'm actually glad it happened that way, as we're a couple of over-thinkers and it would have taken years and a lot of stressing to build up to consciously taking the plunge. Once I was pregnant it was a no-brainer and completely the right decision for us.

We had been married a couple of years, had some nice holidays together, bought and renovated our house and cleared our debts!

It definitely takes the pressure off knowing that we have our own home and are debt free whilst being on maternity leave.

Being with the right man is the utmost concern. You need to have the same fundamental values and he needs to be showing you now that he is an equal partner who contributes his fair share to the relationship. Someone who you hope will step up when a baby comes along is not a good bet.

Secondary is a degree of stability. Of course, you can't wait forever and not many people have it all figured out in their late twenties/early 30s but you're statistically more likely to have an easier times conceiving if you are under 35, so that is a consideration.

Support network is also important. Are you near willing family and are you in agreement about the level of wider family involvement you would hope for and welcome? How would childcare drop offs work?

I turned 40 and thought it was now or never!
I never felt ready or sure. But fortunately bloody love it

I was pushing 40 and because of my age I had to choose between baby now or no baby at all ever. It wasn’t a good time, I wasn’t in a job that would provide maternity pay, I had no friends or family to support me. I literally just had no other choice.