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Conception

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When to involve the husband?

6 replies

Celoo · 14/03/2022 09:47

My DH has very mixed feelings around whether we have children which resulted in some very upsetting conversations but ultimately led to my coming off contraception in December and a "we'll just see what happens sort of agreement". We haven't discussed it since. Well, I'm now a few days overdue and starting to convince myself that it's possible I'm pregnant (also aware AF could drop in at any time) and I don't know whether to tell him, if the time comes, that I need to do a test or whether to just do one in private and then tell him if it's positive. I really wish it was something I'd asked him if he would want to know during a time when I had my period - so he knew I wasn't actually pregnant at that time if you see what I mean, but it's possibly too late for that now.
I think most of his reluctance stems from fear so what I don't want is for me to tell him that I might be pregnant and then having him overly stressing. Would it be better just to keep it to myself until I possibly one day get a BFP? Would love some advice from people who have been in similar situations.

OP posts:
SickAndTiredAgain · 14/03/2022 09:52

Take the test.
But tell him afterwards either way and discuss it. If you’re unsure and worrying whether to tell him you are maybe pregnant, it sounds like you aren’t sure how on board with it he is.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/03/2022 09:55

I’d wait. He’s having having unprotected sex with you so hopefully he’s well aware you could be getting pregnant at any point.

If this isn’t the month then a proper conversation is a good idea. You’re talking about bringing a new life into the world together that will change everything forever so being able to talk about it is wise.

Blackbirdflyintothelight · 14/03/2022 10:14

My DH is was very supportive of TTC and knew when I was due on etc but I still always took the tests by myself and told him later.

Celoo · 14/03/2022 14:14

@SickAndTiredAgain

Take the test. But tell him afterwards either way and discuss it. If you’re unsure and worrying whether to tell him you are maybe pregnant, it sounds like you aren’t sure how on board with it he is.
You're absolutely right. He's a closed book when it comes to his own emotions. He's the most selfless person I've ever known and I worry he's just going along with it because it would make me happy.
OP posts:
Celoo · 14/03/2022 14:15

Thanks for your answers. You've cemented what my gut thought was so I'll leave it a few days and take a test if AF doesn't make an appearance. If she does, I'll be making it a priority to discuss that aspect with him.

OP posts:
canigooutyet · 14/03/2022 14:20

Honestly I would tell him now that you're a bit late. It will tell you instantly from his reaction how on board he is with it.

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