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Partner possibly infertile but has three children with someone else

4 replies

feelinglost123 · 21/02/2022 16:49

This is my first time posting...
So my wonderful partner has found out recently there's a good chance he's infertile. He already has three children with his ex-partner. I don't have any children and would like to have some in the -reasonably near- future.
He's had surgery as a damage-limitation/precautionary measure which I really appreciate, but from the sounds of it it has limited success. We haven't started trying for a baby yet but a big chunk of me feels completely sad/lost, not only that we possibly can't have children but also that he's had that wonderful experience with someone else, and now I might not get to experience it at all.
He's said he understands if I want to find seomeone else, but he's amazing and it breaks my heart to think of splitting up. He's 20 years older than me and a part of me thinkgs this is nature's way of stopping what shouldn't happen, there's lots of data on child mortality and miscarriage increasing with age. I'm full of worry of what might not happen, and even if it does happen, would the baby be healthy?
I'm not sure what to do/say (other than be there for him), or what I expect from any of you, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest and I can't talk to anyone about it.
Thank you x

OP posts:
whomoon · 21/02/2022 16:59

All I can say is please don’t worry about a hypothetical situation.

Until you try for a baby, how will you know it will never happen for you? Start fertility tests sooner rather than later so you know where you both stand before making life changing decisions about leaving each other. And in the meantime, start trying, take supplements etc.

GingerFox2021 · 21/02/2022 23:37

Start trying for the baby. You can add opks, supplements, other therapies if you want to and when you get pregnant then you can do more testing on baby’s health.

CharlotteRose90 · 21/02/2022 23:42

If you want children you need to leave and find someone else. No chance would I stay with someone that’s infertile as knowing they had kids before and couldn’t give me any would kill me.

Ra12345 · 21/02/2022 23:52

A sperm test is really easy and very reasonably priced. Why not start there?

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