When to give up ttc

[movingon44]

I'm 44 and now accepting it won't happen for us .. we won't do IVF as already blessed with one dc but it's hard to accept that we won't have any more

Has anyone stopped and how do you move on?

Hello OP

Sorry I can’t help with your question but I didn’t want to read and run and wanted to give your post a boost so hopefully someone can help. Sending you all the best

I am 36, been trying over 10years (can't get investigation/treatment due to high bmi). I was really struggling at not being able to get pregnant, I got in a huge rut.

I was referred to a counsellor through work and she has helped me process my emotions around infertility and helping me face the possibility it might never happen.

It's hard! Not going to lie I still tear up at the thought of it. But I see more positives when I once could see none without having a baby. Sometimes it's about slowly putting things into prospective, not focusing on what you don't have and appreciating what you do have and making other plans for the future to give you something to work towards.

I highly recommend counselling. It's a slow process, but I don't feel like a dark cloud is following me round so much anymore. There are still bad days, but they pass.

Best of luck to you 😊

Glad to hear counseling helped @beanchopper17

I think knowing what our personal limits both as an individual and as a couple were helped us. Before we started ttc we had a discussion about what we were willing to do. We got pregnant within a year but had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks and never got pregnant again. Subsequent investigations identified our specific issues and we were advised IVF would be needed so that was our limit as I refuse to undergo it. We went on to adopt which was something we had discussed right at the start of our parenting journey before we'd even had that one brief pregnancy.

For us, communication at each stage of trying to become a parent was key to what decision we made next.

I'm glad you managed to adopt @ifchocolatewerrcelery.

I don't think that road is for us so if we stop that's our family complete .. a family I am so truly grateful for .. but i really wanted another.. just need to make peace with it