Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

How long did you take off work after MC ?

34 replies

FreckledMouse · 15/02/2022 12:18

(Me again)
I had a MC 11 days ago (am still having a small amount of bleeding)
And I've not returned to work yet.
I also had an ectopic last July (no living children)
I work in Childrens Services in quite a demanding role and my GP has signed me off for another 2 weeks but I'm feeling guilty not returning.
Just looking for some reassurance really.
How long did you take off ?

OP posts:
Original poster
FreckledMouse · 15/02/2022 17:45

Bump

OP posts:
pinkcattydude · 15/02/2022 17:49

Sorry for your losses. I took 2 weeks every time, one I had 5 weeks but that was very complicated. you’ve just gotta do what feels right for you there’s no right on wrong answer. Just be gentle to yourself right now.

BigAir · 15/02/2022 17:49

I took a month. But they just furloughed me so no skin off their nose really! Under normal circumstances I'm not sure they would have been quite so understanding and it probably would have been around 2 weeks!

BigAir · 15/02/2022 17:50

and yes sorry for your loss. There's no right or wrong answer really. It's when you feel ready

Essexgirlupnorth · 15/02/2022 17:51

First time has 3 weeks second 2 weeks from the actual medical management but was off from the first scan where no heartbeat so 3 weeks.
3 miscarriage didn't have any time off but happened at home didn't go to hospital and it was right at the beginning of lockdown April 2020 so was working from home anyway. I would have triggered work sickness policy as would have had too much time off as well.

Don't rush back to work go back when you are ready.

anxiouswaiting · 15/02/2022 17:51

10 weeks and then a phased return.

We all experience these things differently and I think it is really important to do what you need to recover. I would have been useless at my job if I had gone back any earlier.

Original poster
FreckledMouse · 15/02/2022 18:03

Thank you everyone for your responses.
It's made me feel a lot less guilty.
♥️
I'm sorry for all your losses.

OP posts:
Nik84 · 15/02/2022 18:12

I was isolating with COVID when I had my miscarriage. I took the week after off, so about 10 days. The physical symptoms had gone and emotionally I struggled for the first few days back. I work in a school as a 1:1 and was needed there x

HippeePrincess · 15/02/2022 19:53

I had just over a month off, it was a missed miscarriage and I chose not to have any intervention as at the time I couldn't easily take the time away from my DS to take the pills which they made you stay in hospital for at the time, and I definitely didn't want the D&C either. So it was a week or so before anything happened, I didn't leave the house as I was worried it would start when I was out. Then I was bleeding and feeling terrible for couple of weeks and had retained tissue so I waited til I had the all clear on a scan and stopped bleeding before going back. I wasn't popular but I didn't care.

Original poster
FreckledMouse · 15/02/2022 20:00

Thank you ♥️ all

@HippeePrincess I need your attitude ♥️

OP posts:
HippeePrincess · 15/02/2022 20:50

You’re replaceable at work, your health and well-being for life should be a priority and workplaces need to change their attitudes and sickness policies, not us burn the candle at both ends to fit into their policies. It’s pregnancy related anyway and shouldn’t be counted within sickness polices.

RosieRainbow1986 · 15/02/2022 20:59

Hi, really sorry for what you're going through. I had 6 weeks off...I am a teacher and my miscarriage started at the beginning of August and would have had longer off had it not been for the summer holidays. Mainly because the miscarriage lasted nearly 6 weeks from start to finish and I really needed the time afterwards to make sure I was ready mentally and physically. And tbh, I struggled up until the Christmas holidays and really could have done with longer but also recognised the need to go back to work, get into a routine again etc. Other close friends have had less time off but some longer. Everyone is different and deal with things differently and I was lucky that my workplace are very understanding. But if you can, take the time you need to be both mentally and physically ready...there's no 'right' amount of time 💐

RosieRainbow1986 · 15/02/2022 21:01

And if you need it, ask for a phased return. I really wish I had as found that first full week back really overwhelming and so much harder that I expected it to be.

Sassy144 · 15/02/2022 21:43

Everyone is different and you take as long as you need ❤️

I know I didn't take nearly enough time off. I took three days compassionate leave, then worked from home the rest of the week and was back in the following week. But I wanted to keep busy and get out of the house, and I was worrying a lot about work.

Sending you lots of love and hugs.

Original poster
FreckledMouse · 15/02/2022 21:51

Thank you
@Sassy144 and @RosieRainbow1986 ♥️

I'm going to try and go easier on myself and a phased return sounds like a brilliant idea.
I can work from home too but it's demanding still.

OP posts:
rolypolydoly · 15/02/2022 21:57

2 months and then phased return, mainly due to mental health at the time, not physical issues (of which there weren't any)

playingdevilsavocado · 15/02/2022 23:30

ok so i am starting to realize just the long bank hol weekend whilst it was happening and I was off anyway wasn’t normal. NHS worker and this was 10 years ago, totally felt pressure to be back and didn’t allow myself any grieving time. Didn’t do me any good. Take the time you need and don’t feel guilty Flowers

Landlubber2019 · 15/02/2022 23:34

I didn't take any time off, but it was a huge mistake.

There were times when I simply couldn't do my job as I was broken. I remember a colleague answering my phone and complaining that I was obviously too important to answer my own phone, it was only when he saw my face that he realised I was proper sobbing 😭. Take the time you need, I was an idiot!

Original poster
FreckledMouse · 15/02/2022 23:46

@Landlubber2019 @playingdevilsavocado @rolypolydoly
Thank you Ladies ♥️
I'm sorry for all your losses and the pressure you felt (exactly how I'm feeling)

OP posts:
Hairyfriend · 16/02/2022 00:00

We all grieve differently and there is no right or wrong answer here. Sorry for your loss Flowers

My 1st loss at 12 weeks, I wasn't working as abroad, but in a country I grew up in on holiday. I was hospitalised overnight, but could have physically returned to work a few days later.

My 2nd loss, I MC in the work toilets, had a day off to get a scan the next day, and returned to work the following day. It was a few days before a long Christmas break, so knew I'd get some time off eventually.

3rd loss I was WFH and returned to work 2 days later.

For me, I felt having something to do was helpful, rather than being sad at home and not being able to think of anything else. Work was a distraction and I felt physically and mentally able to carry on.

If you need support, this is a great link with a phone support in the day:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Sunbird24 · 16/02/2022 00:25

So sorry, it’s a shit gang to join.
Mine:
1st: 1 week
2nd: 2 weeks (because I ended up in A&E with a haemorrhage)
3rd: 4 weeks (worse haemorrhage, needed emergency surgery and blood transfusion. I had 2 weeks off sick which rolled into 2 weeks of pre-booked leave)
4th: Had an ERPC on the Friday, a week after the bad scan, and was back in work on the Monday. They didn’t want to risk me haemorrhaging again fence the rush job for planned surgery!

So even one person will need different lengths of time for different MCs - personally I’m better off going back to work and being around people and having stuff to do otherwise I wallow, but I’m doing it all solo so there’s nobody at home to look after me, which makes a difference. You do whatever works for you!

Flowers
Wnkingawalrus · 16/02/2022 00:38

OP there’s no one size fits all answer to this. You need to take the time you need. The physical and emotional effects will impact people in different ways, not to mention the actual job you do also being a factor. I’ve not suffered miscarriage personally but I have supported a number of employees that have experience. Some prefer to return quickly to take their mind off it, others need longer before they feel able to return.

There’s a long way to go but I see small glimmers that the support for people experiencing pregnancy loss is improving in the workplace. I hope you get the support you need and deserve.

Look after yourself OP.

Landlubber2019 · 16/02/2022 07:18

@FreckledMouse thank you. I should add that I now have 2 wonderful children and that managers effectively demoted me after DC 1 was born and I was made redundant whilst on maternity with DC 2.
There are countless examples on here of mothers and discrimination. So you put yourself first and don't feel bad!

HiGunny · 16/02/2022 10:50

I lost my baby at 11 weeks on the second last day of a short holiday. I took a week off from the day I was due back to work. The doctor offered me a second week but I thought I'd be better keeping busy and getting back to normality. In hindsight I should have taken longer as I was pretty exhausted and miserable afterwards.

seven201 · 16/02/2022 14:32

I've had three miscarriages, all thankfully before six weeks and just very heavy bleeding. I've taken off half a day total, but two were at the weekend and one on a Friday afternoon (and I was expecting it). If I had an understanding employer then I'd have taken off perhaps a week each time. We are all different though so if you need more time you should take it. You need to get well.