The TTC pressure getting to husband

[Flossie333]

Such an intimate topic, but thinking that I may not be alone in this. My husband has never had any issues with performing (or with his libido..!) however since TTC our second, he's found sex really tough. I think it's the pressure, and coupled with the fact that I'm using OPKs (which I know won't be helping). I know I should ditch the OPKs, but it's a tough one as my ovulation seems to be a bit different each month and after trying for a while and having had a chemical, I want to give us the best chance.

Does this affect others? Xxx

Lol, ditch the OPK. Just have sex once a week for a year. You should fall pregnant. And there is less pressure on everyone.

I'm a lesbian TTC with a gay man and we use a syringe to TTC, you'd probably prefer to have sex lol but if there are times you don't want to DTD but do want to TTC then syringe and pot works great!

@lakejupiter I have spoken with people who have also done this! Maybe we will try 😊. Have you managed to have a baby this way? Wishing you all the luck if not yet xxxx

My DP felt the same too, so although I continued to use OPKs, I stopped telling him anything and just continued having sex when we felt like it. Even when I knew I was ovulating, I didn’t pressure him into it and perhaps sometimes missed my optimum window, but so be it to keep the pressure off.

For what it’s worth, after 13 months, I’ve ditched the OPKs completely and we’re not even talking about TTC. And we seem to be having more sex!! I also deleted my apps and just keep a note in DPs calendar (so I’m not tempted to check my calendar what CD I am) of my period start date, so I at least know when to expect period as I’ve always done.

I definitely feel better taking the pressure off, and our relationship feels so much better too. What will be will be!

@whomoon thank you- I think ditching the OPKs may be the way to go. Just much harder said than done! Especially when you can have them delivered next day! But you are right, what will be will be 🥰

[quote Flossie333]@lakejupiter I have spoken with people who have also done this! Maybe we will try 😊. Have you managed to have a baby this way? Wishing you all the luck if not yet xxxx [/quote]
Not yet! In my second TWW so early days. Fingers Xed for both of us :)

Maybe opposite to others, but I was stressed without opks as I was not sure I DTD on right days. So it didn’t make me feel any better. So, opks keep me more relaxed, at least I know when to DTD and my ovulation varies, too. And none of us wants to DTD often, so I guess opks help in that way.

I'm the same as @GingerFox2021
I like to stay as in control as I can and that makes me feel more at ease.
I tell my OH when my fertile window is but we don't put too much pressure on it (he's very laid back and likes to be involved in it all any ways which helps), and we try and keep it as fun as possible, eg nice underwear, different places and times, etc
We are on Cycle 10 so not as long as others but I've found it works well for us.

@FreckledMouse the same 😃I tell my other half when it’s my fertile week or even when my opks are rising 👀. We are TTC number 2 for about 1,5 years, but quite few months we didn’t have a chance as I was away, he was away etc, so probably about 1 year of trying, I guess.