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Wanting A Rainbow Baby But I'm Now Single

4 replies

Marie97123 · 11/02/2022 11:00

I lost my baby at 14 weeks pregnant on new year's day. I'm heartbroken. The father blocked me the same day.

It seems everyone is having children and it kills me inside even though I'm happy for them. I can't try for my rainbow baby. I feel so helpless and alone.

I am young, 24. People say I should wait. I've not got a career or my own house but I'll be honest, I just want to be a mother. I have done for a while and this pregnancy has pushed me to want it more.

But my love life feels helpless. No one seems interested and I worry no one will be for a long time. And even then, I could be forced to wait years until I'm allowed to have a child.

I've thought about going it alone. My child won't have a father but I will have my baby. Its the only way I see me having a baby before I'm 30. Most guys my age don't want a child or marriage or anything serious. My ex is an example of that.

He spent the whole pregnancy pushing me to abort and when I naturally lost it, vanished without even asking if I was okay. It just seems I'll never find a man I connect with and who wants a child soon. At least not for a long time.

As I said, I just feel out of control of my own body. That my biggest dream is completely dependent on a man wanting me and it breaks my heart.

OP posts:
CocoCookieCream · 11/02/2022 11:03
  1. Get a steady job/employment.
  1. Buy or rent a property.
  1. Find a guy that is looking for a serious relationship.
  1. Marry said guy.
  1. Have kids.

Take control of your life ...

CocoCookieCream · 11/02/2022 11:04

Dont rush into things. You need a solid foundation to raise a stable family.

Jk987 · 11/02/2022 11:25

Sorry for your loss. Surround yourself with great friends and family. Do fun things. Take care of yourself. Go travelling, you'll meet some wonderful friends. Children are wonderful but so are your freedom years

Once you feel better in yourself and have more confidence, other things will follow. Find a job you like and a flat share.

You will meet your Mr Right and have a baby. Don't rush as time is on your side.

eastview · 11/02/2022 13:01

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I was in a similar (ish) situation. I lost my first pregnancy at 12 weeks and I was devastated. Baby's dad was no support and I honestly felt suicidal everyday. Struggled to keep up with work and everyday life. I stayed due to my desperation to have a baby and felt so low that I didn't think anyone would want me. I finally moved out and he was with someone else within days and i eventually found out that he was cheating on me and got someone pregnant behind my back. This was devastating to me especially as I tried so hard and wanted my own baby so badly. I unexpectedly met someone not too long after, it was so natural and I finally felt like myself again. Sure the desperation to have a baby was still there but I started to enjoy my life again. Cut long story short, 2.5 years later I'm 18 weeks pregnant with our baby girl and I couldn't be happier. I have an amazing partner and my girly will have the best daddy ever, unfortunately my lost baby wouldn't of had that. Please don't think that things will be this way forever. You will continue to grieve and some days will be hard. But it will happen when things are right. PS I was also 24 when this happened to me so I totally get it. Sending love to you. ❤️

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