How do you stop overthinking it all?

[CocoPancakes]

I'm 38 and TTC first time, with a somewhat reluctant husband. We've only recently started (or at least had no contraception) but given my age I am constantly wondering if it will work, how long will it take, what is my body doing RIGHT NOW ffs. Then I'm thinking about how we will tell people, if I'll ever even get that moment of telling people (because I long for it), how will my husband actually react, will he be miserable that we don't have cushy lives anymore, what if it does happen but it's not healthy, what if it doesn't happen, how will I cope, how will I get round the awkward questions from busy bodies. The list of things on my mind is endless and I wish I could jump a year into the future and see where we are.
I of course know everyone else probably feels the same way so how did you deal with it? I feel like I'm counting every minute right now and driving myself insane.

I had a reluctant DH and he didn't really change. Mostly uninterested and unhelpful. Much better with number two, but it was a long wait.

Ps I got pregnant the first month we tried and we only had sex once that month due to him then working away.

It took a lot longer with number two, and I had a miscarriage at 10w. Then again a good while again until I was recovered physically and mentally , so bigger age gap than I intended but it's worked itself out fine.

Now DH says we should have had kids sooner ?! 🤯

I was 35 first time and 39 the second.

@pickledonionsandwine

I had a reluctant DH and he didn't really change. Mostly uninterested and unhelpful. Much better with number two, but it was a long wait.

Ps I got pregnant the first month we tried and we only had sex once that month due to him then working away.

It took a lot longer with number two, and I had a miscarriage at 10w. Then again a good while again until I was recovered physically and mentally , so bigger age gap than I intended but it's worked itself out fine.

Now DH says we should have had kids sooner ?! 🤯

Did he ever make you feel like he resented having kids? I do see DH with other peoples kids and while he isn't overly interested in dealing with them, when he does he's great with them so I see the potential, it's just a worry as to whether he will hate it when it's constant (which is something he has voiced that he thinks he will feel).

Some of the challenges you have had are what make me so concerned, given that I'm only starting at 38.

Hi , I was exactly the same, constantly thinking about it and worrying about every little detail. I'm now 10 weeks and still have days were I obsess and google everything - I don't think it goes. But I have noticed that time goes a lot quicker by making plans and just getting on with life. I used to not make plans incase I was ovulating etc and it just made the waiting longer! You are definitely not alone. I also couldn't wait to tell family etc but now I'm 2 weeks away from the scan to tell them I actually don't want to and enjoying the secret bubble! Good luck xx