Missed miscarriage

[Lizm1990]

Hi all,

So we had the devastating news that our baby has no heartbeat on Sunday just gone. It was completely missed no bleeding or anything and I’ve booked in for the surgery option. I’m heartbroken to say the least but trying to deal with things as best I can!

I kinda wanted to see how others dealt with it and it I’m being stupid as I keep feeling guilty I’m off work, I keep criticising myself over being too upset or not upset enough, it’s a complete head fuck! I just can’t fathom atm that I have my baby inside me but gone. I was meant to be 11+5 today but on my first scan (private) baby measured 8 weeks 5 days on Sunday, I then got rescanned at the hospital this Tuesday and baby was 9 weeks 1 day.

My fella has been so supportive, I got upset yesterday when I said to him things like holding my hand in the car on the way home on Sunday meant a lot as I just couldn’t speak at all.

We are hoping to try again when we can, if you have any advice I am all ears as I feel very isolated, not many ppl knew I was pregnant as I was waiting for the first scan and my fella bless him can’t even understand fully.
xx

Oh so sorry you still have to go for the surgery - that’s what I’m afraid of too, which is why I was debating medication or surgery, or continue waiting, but I’d like to move forward. For now I’ll try the pills when I have some days off from work and hope for the best, if surgery is required, I’ll just get a date that is available and then have to adjust my schedule.
I havent ever given birth, so I’m not sure if it’ll go as quickly as yours, I’m a bit afraid of dealing with the pain, but hoping it will be complete after that. I’m wishing you all the best, update when you may need to go for surgery, at least you can be sure it’ll be done and start to move forward when you’re ready.
Sending hugs

@ACHA916

hi so as promised here is a quick update on my mms journey... I ended up having the surgery on friday ... I was really worried about the general anaesthetic but I have to said it was absolutely fine and recovery so quick. I was home 3hrs later. Because for me it was just for little bits left from the miscarriage I had with the medications I am actually not bleeding much at all and no cramps either... however I am tired and my throat is really sore from a tube I had during the surgery.
How are you doing? Have you decided what you will be doing? Hope you are well. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for me and I really hope there is one for you too very soon. Take care xx

@ACHA916 how are you doing?

I’m glad you were able to have the surgery and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
there sure is a light, but takes some time.
i had another ultrasound a few days before I was planning to take the medication, and then 2 days after that, I started to miscarry naturally. It was wild, contractions were 5 minutes apart for a few hours and then closer and closer until they were unbearable and I was actually in labor with my very small child that was no longer living, my partner was away for work and started to drive the 2.5 hours back. It was so painful without much blood that I was afraid I was dilated or something and that the embryo wouldn’t pass, I left my partner a voice message whenever I got a short moment to move out of the bathroom and grab my phone since I went in there and didn’t think I’d get stuck there due to the painful contractions being so close. Sweat and shaking and pooping, it was not easy and I sure was grunting. My partner was panicked speeding home and called the doctor who was gone for Easter weekend, so an ambulance was sent because I was alone and we didn’t know if it was going alright. As I heard the ambulance making its way to the front door, I passed the embryo and placenta, so the labor pains were leading up to the ‘birth’ and all was ok afterwards. The ambulance nurses were amazingly caring and easy to have around, all had been complete right before they arrived, but I was stuck in the toilet, so the cops broke the door to let them in as they knew I was alone. Seemed a bit dramatic at the time, but good to have human contact and support after the loss. My partner arrived home a few minutes after the ambulance left. I bled a lot and leaked clots for a few days, then it minimized to somewhat easier bleeding and I was back at working my physical job. After the miscarriage I realized I had just tried to survive the physical ‘labor’ and get through it, so much focus to push through, then a day or two later the actual loss and event of having a miscarriage hit me and there were lots of tears and sadness seeing pregnant women or newborns. Ive felt my way through it over the last month, and I had 5 weeks after finding out there was not a heartbeat before the natural miscarriage, so there was time to process. I got my period again, and all is cleared the doctor said from an external ultrasound, I hope it’s all good! We are hopeful to try again, and hoping my partner and I can be together when im
ovulating as we both travel for work. I had a dream about holding my baby, a small baby (that was supposedly only a few months old) but was fine and I realized in the dream that even though she wasn’t expected to survive that it seemed she was just fine and going to keep on living.
sending love to all always, I’m here for any information from personal experience.

@ACHA916 I am really sorry to hear about your experience but I am glad you had some people with you in the end.
I was and still am the same I found it difficult to see newborns or pregnant women you can't help yourself why did it have to happen to you 😢
I have not had my period yet but I think the surgery reset my cycles as day 1 as I have ovulated last week so I am all hoping that everything will go back to normal.
Like for my first miscarriage this little one will never been forgotten and will always hold a special part in my heart even though they didn't get the chance to live ❤️
I wish you all the best on your baby journey please let me know how you are getting on!x

Wishing you all the best as well ❤️ How are you feeling now?
How do you know when you've ovulated? Do you track it? I’ve wondered if it’s reliable or helpful to track

@ACHA916 i am doing good thanks. I definetly ovulated and got my period like a normal cycle so hopefully that's me back on track!
I am using clear blue OPK but the one with the flashing and static smileys so I knew which hormones were working. I also feel when I ovulate as the side I ovulate gets really crampy!
I have also done some acupuncture sessions to help me relax and feel better in my body and my mind. It really helped me.
Have your periods come back yet? Are you planning to try again soon or will you wait a bit? Good luck!x

glad things are back on track for your physically. I also got my period and then pretty sure I ovulated again. I usually just track cervical mucus for ovulation, but maybe would like to start to know more for sure as we would like to try again.
ww both are travelling separately for work and family, so I’m afraid our dates together might not line up with ovulation, which makes it difficult to keep postponing especially after a miscarriage when we were ready for that baby, but I will keep hope that all will happen as and when is right.
i wish you luck and all the best ❤️

Hi all, so I did get pregnant again, and it’s stupidly scary and difficult to not doubt and be paranoid. Things seemed to be going well, but I’m afraid my symptoms have slowed down over the past few days, after about 9 weeks pregnant. I don’t have a scan until next week at 11 weeks, and I’m super worried. I’m traveling now and wondering if maybe I should get an ultrasound here to not have anxiety every single day and seeing in my breasts are getting less swollen or noticing every change in symptoms. I’m still holding hope and fluctuating between that and the fear or my mind trying to realize how devastating it all would be again so soon and what that means after - what is wrong with my body or can I keep a pregnancy or do we have to try others things…
i wish this could all be easier

@ACHA916 congratulations! Hope it all
goes well for you!! No luck on our side unfortunately.. the wait is too much sometimes when you have lost a baby...:-(

@ACHA916 congrats! I was the same I remember crying hysterically on holiday at my in laws at about 8 weeks convicted my symptoms had diminished. I went for a private scan at a random clinic in north wales only to find the baby was HAPPY as a clam and it was all in my head. I’m now 26 weeks pregnant and baby is bouncing around. Symptoms do fluctuate, the statistics are overwhelmingly on your side for it to go well. I did find the first 16 weeks the hardest mental and physical endurance test of my life though so I know how you’re feeling. I am sure you’ll be fine xx

I totally understand, the wait is not easy at all after losing a baby, but I do think it could be healthy to have some time before getting pregnant again, so I wish for you to trust in the timing that nature allows for you and to keep the hope ❤️

Thank you, yes it’s a bit nerve wracking. My symptoms haven’t been strong to begin with, so days after bad dreams or when my symptoms fade, I get anxious. I got an at home fetal Doppler, but I’m only about 12 weeks and I don’t think it could detect the heartbeat yet - plus, I have heard those aren’t absolutely proven safe for the baby. Each scan is allowing my anxiety to lessen and my hope to increase, but it sure is a daily practice! Fingers crossed for the scan this week.
sending all my best in love, hope, and endurance for those grieving and then trying to conceive or carry out pregnancies after miscarriage - I’m here for you

@ACHA916 were you able to get another scan and get reassured everything is ok? Good luck!!!

Everything has been going well so far! Lots of hope and chances to be positive after loss. Thank you for asking ❤how are things going for you? Have you been trying for another baby? How do you feel? I’ve been reading the book Spirit Babies, not sure if that’s interesting to you, but it’s a beautiful way of seeing life and how and when life chooses us.

I’ve replied to the thread, the book spirit babies has also been lovely for me so far regarding loss. I hope you’re well

@ACHA916 I am so happy for you ❤️ it gives me hope that things can go well after a mmc!! No luck for me still.. my body has been playing up as well this month so it is getting hard but I am not losing hope! Keep me posted on your journey!! xxx

Your body will find its way in the right time, beautiful that you trust it. I have hope your Angel is waiting for it’s moment. Keep taking care ❤️