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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC #3, over 38, BIG age gap

27 replies

Pheepa · 02/02/2022 20:27

Hello, just wanted to say hi really. I'm 38 with a 12 year old daughter and 10 year old daughter. Was discussing with hubby wanting to come off pill and him having the snip instead and it made us realise we wanted to try for a 3rd while it was still potentially possible. We are both newly re employed after 5 years of self employment and realised financially it was a plausible idea for the first time in over 5 years.
We are in our first month after 1st period after stopping pill. Day 1 of cycle was 19th Jan. Used Clearblue digital OPK and got high readings 27th/28th/29th and then peak on 30th. Strong ovulation pains on one side all day on 31st (used to get these on alternate sides each month when not on pill previously). EWCM 29th-31st. DTD multiple times between 25th and 31st.

Now trying to get through my first 2ww in over 10 years! First pregnancy was unplanned following less than perfect taking of my pill, 2nd we fell on 3rd month of trying. Am very very fortunate to have never knowingly suffered a miscarriage or chemical pregnancy.

So basically just wanted to say hi, see if anyone had any similar experiences. I'm feeling optimistic that my body seems to be doing the right things this month. Am I right to have a little hope that this could happen relatively quickly at 38? Concerned slightly about the big age gap between older 2 and this one if it happens and how pregnancy might go now I'm 10 years older than the last time.

Think I've waffled long enough! Just needed to put my thoughts somewhere since we are not telling anyone about TTC!

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DiscipleMama · 23/09/2022 21:26

Hey,
This was obviously written some months ago, how have things progressed? I am almost 38 and thinking about TTC #3 with 2 kids 10 & 8. After we did actually 'make it possible', shall we say, I did panic slightly lol. But I also know I'll feel that disappointment if, as is likely, I don't get pregnant this time. I was diagnosed with a neurological condition this year, and haven't had a libido to talk of for ages so it's a bit of a happy surprise to hubby.

Original poster
Pheepa · 23/09/2022 23:10

Hi! We fell on 4th month of trying. I’ll be 26 weeks on monday. All seems to be going ok. I was diagnosed with high BP at my 12 week appointment and panicked that it was all going to go downhill and I’d end up with early preeclampsia and a really prem baby but low dose labetalol is keeping it in check so far. Been much sickier than my previous pregnancies, not sure if it’s age, just one of those things or because we’re having our first boy. All scans have been good, low risk for downs/pateau/edwards and not yet feeling too old and exhausted but definitely waiting to see what the 3rd trimester brings! The older 2 are so excited which is lovely. Good luck with your journey!

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DiscipleMama · 24/09/2022 00:19

Oh that's so good to hear - I mean, the pregnancy, kids' excitement etc. I understand about the BP thing. One of my health issues is that I have something called Polycystic Kidney Disease so I have been put on close watch regarding BP and baby's growth with my other 2 pregnancies. But, both were actually fine (if anything the opposite of what they were looking out for as I tended towards low BP and symptoms with that, as well as BIG babies :-/ !!)
It's good that they are aware/monitoring though, I would think.
I feel a bit crazy even considering TTC now, but it is what it is. Now I am officially in the 2 week wait, and, of course, already feel like it's gonna last an age. And I also feel like I will slightly panic if we were to conceive and yet be very disappointed if not! Also, my Dad is visiting us from other side of the world (I'm a Brit with Kiwi hubby and we got stuck in NZ because of the lockdowns and so had to make life here...I get super homesick and both my other 2 were born here so my parents have never gotten to be a big part of my kids' early years which makes me very sad...but I had to decide that that wasn't a good reason for NOT trying for another).
Whoops, I'm rambling a bit here. Sorry!

Original poster
Pheepa · 24/09/2022 19:26

Good luck with getting through your first 2WW. I find they did get easier! Did you track ovulation or just go with the flow?

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DiscipleMama · 24/09/2022 21:55

I tracked just through some basic ways, no strips or temps, but I am quite confident of the day that O happened. Which I guess is a good sign in itself, but I know not to expect anything too soon (doesn't stop the anticipation though).

Original poster
Pheepa · 25/09/2022 09:16

It really doesn’t. I was confident I was ovulating too so that was good straight after coming off the pill. Know we were really lucky to conceive on month 4, in hindsight I know that’s v quick, especially at 38. Still had the worry and disappointment for the 3 months before though. It’s so all consuming x

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DiscipleMama · 25/09/2022 21:44

Yes, even though I know how unlikely it is I can't help feeling like it should happen just as easily as before. (1st month for baby 1, after a miscarriage a couple years prior from an unexpected pregnancy and 2 months for baby no2).

MrsZinnia · 25/09/2022 22:20

I fell pregnant first month of trying at 38, and have found my large-gap children to still very definitely be siblings right from the word go. 5 yr old and 17 year old curl up together watching Disney films etc. I think it gives the older ones a chance to be young again for a while, when they want to, by playing etc. Good luck.

DiscipleMama · 26/09/2022 02:11

@MrsZinnia that's super encouraging, and very sweet! 😊

Original poster
Pheepa · 28/09/2022 18:53

How’s your 2WW going now @DiscipleMama

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DiscipleMama · 28/09/2022 20:15

@Pheepa
Well, I think I am 6,7 or 8 dpo (wish I'd temped, but don't have a thermometer!) and trying to figure out what the soonest I COULD expect AF is because yesterday afternoon/eve I was peeing SO much and the breast tenderness/fullness I'm experiencing is pretty hard to ignore and I feel like it's more than a pre-period thing. But am I just hyper-focusing? But, TMI, my cervix also started to feel softer....
At least, if I am not pregnant, I'll have a lot of detailed notes/chart to look back on for next time! lol

DiscipleMama · 29/09/2022 03:24

Cervix stuff is probably unreliable, I've read it doesn't really 'go into position' til later on. So forget that bit!

Original poster
Pheepa · 29/09/2022 09:41

You can drive yourself mad symptom spotting can’t you? I got a feint BFP at what I thought was 10DPO but my scan dates now suggest I ovulated/conceived earlier so maybe it wasn’t quite as early as that

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DiscipleMama · 29/09/2022 20:08

Yeah, I'm trying NOT to but it is hard. I got a BFP at 9 days with my first so...high expectations, not a good idea!

Original poster
Pheepa · 01/10/2022 18:30

Have you given in to testing yet?!

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DiscipleMama · 01/10/2022 19:41

@Pheepa I probably would have this morning if I had one. The breast tenderness/fullness I feel (around outer sides particularly) reminds me of the pregnancy growth I had before. Could still be a fluke though. We're a bit short on cash this week which might keep me from testing! 😅

DiscipleMama · 01/10/2022 19:41

I had a dream this morning, as well, that I got a very clear, quick BFP.

DiscipleMama · 03/10/2022 18:58

So, I tested yesterday morning with a FRER and have the notorious line of frustration - is it? Isn't it? But, the extra problem was that, though I could see SOMEthing during the timeframe, my morning eyes (5:30) were SO blurry I literally couldn't see properly. This is what the line, which may or may not look the same as it did in that time frame looks like. But, last night I had cramps that were very specifically in the uterine area, not the general lower abdomen area like my period cramps usually are...and this morning, pale pink when I wipe. I had 'implantation spotting' with both my successful pregnancies, so a bit hopeful - but I know it COULD lead to AF. Either way, I feel like I have something of note to monitor and I should have a better idea very soon. Today IS the first day I could start AF - for a 26 day cycle, but last month was 30 days.

TTC #3, over 38, BIG age gap
Original poster
Pheepa · 03/10/2022 20:15

ooh I see it! Fingers crossed the pink doesn’t mean chemical but even so it’s a good start in month 1. Good luck!!

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DiscipleMama · 03/10/2022 21:25

Well, already, the discharge has turned brown - like it's drying up! I think this is a good sign...but still...

Original poster
Pheepa · 03/10/2022 22:41

How exciting!

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DiscipleMama · 04/10/2022 00:11

So grateful for online people to share the anticipation with! Otherwise I feel I'd go a bit mad and start telling people I know! Cramps and spotting pretty much disappeared now. 🤗

DiscipleMama · 05/10/2022 06:28

Ummmm...I kinda knew...but I'm kinda in shock!

TTC #3, over 38, BIG age gap
Original poster
Pheepa · 05/10/2022 07:34

Ah amazing, congratulations! Think I kind of knew too!

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Original poster
Pheepa · 05/10/2022 07:36

When will you tell the kids? I told ours straight away but they had been in on the decision making process to have a third (I realise that’s a bit odd but we wanted it to be a whole family decision given it affects us all)

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