How do I tell the father?

[Confusedddmum]

Hi lovelies

New to this forum so if this is the wrong place to put this thread I apologise in advance.

I will try to keep this short. I’m after some advice.

I broke up with my ex who I was seeing for about a year just after Christmas. Unfortunately he decided to leave me for another woman. He said they aren’t a couple but have decided to start dating and see where it goes.

I have just found out yesterday that I’m pregnant with his baby (conceived just after Christmas) and I’m so worried to tell him. I don’t expect us to get back together but would like it if we could be friends and he could be involved as a father.

The break up was friendly and we did say we will remain friends but I don’t think he will be happy with the news and I don’t think the new woman will be happy either.

If he doesn’t want to be involved then I will do this alone with the support of family and friends but has anyone been in this situation before and how did you tell the father?

I was on contraceptive pill and I didn’t miss any pills but I did take one late but I didn’t think it would make a difference. We are both 32 so old enough to be responsible parents.

Unsure whether I should tell him now or wait until I’m further along incase anything god forbid goes wrong.

Any advice welcome.

What a stressful situation, though it's hard to tell whether you personally are happy with the news or not.

I would just tell him the truth, as simply and honestly as possible. You've done nothing wrong. You could ask to see him in person to tell him, or tell him via text if that feels easier for you. There's no right or wrong way to do it, though he needs to know.

The feelings of the new woman are really not your problem!

How stressful to you.

I'd just tell him. Sooner the better

I would tell him pretty much what your OP says. You are pregnant, it's his, you would like to remain friends and him be involved. You are supported elsewhere if he doesn't want to be.

If you are keeping baby tell him. If you’re unsure then id leave it till you are.

Just tell him as quickly as possible. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be. He might not, as you say, be happy with the news but he is equally responsible for you being pregnant. I agree the feelings of the new woman are not your problem.

I wouldn’t say anything until you’re past the point where he can demand an abortion, if he’s the type to get angry/physical.

I'd wait to tell him unless you're sure he's going to be reasonable...not blaming you, suggesting abortion or anything of that sort.

Three months along would be a more reasonable time frame.

I just doubt his reaction, at least initially, is going to be selfless and supportive.

@Ahhhhhbisto

I would tell him pretty much what your OP says. You are pregnant, it's his, you would like to remain friends and him be involved. You are supported elsewhere if he doesn't want to be.

This. Also don't forget you are entitled to child maintenance regardless of how involved he chooses to be. Congratulations and best of luck

Tell him now. He will have longer to get used to idea before baby is born. Don't mention new gf. That is down to him to tell her. Your ex will have to pay towards your baby's upkeep for 18 years so tell him straight away.

Have a think about what you want baby’s surname to be.
I’d be going with the same as me if I was in this situation.

Just tell him

Tell him ASAP. Just get to the point, no waffling and no talk of getting back together.

He isn’t violent or angry so I’m not worried about that. I want to go ahead with having the baby. I’m shocked and this is the opposite of how I wanted things to be and far from an ideal situation but I have a good support network and I do think I can do this.

A lot to think about. Thank you all for your responses. I really appreciate it.