5 Days Late & now AF. Disappointed & sad.

[Badlydrawngirl36]

I’m brand new on here, 36 and trying for our first baby. Sorry am not very sure about the acronyms yet!! I was 5 days late & BFN this morning and my AF just came now this evening. I’m desperately disappointed, I know hormones make you sad anyway but I really got my hopes up after 9 months of trying. I suppose I just wanted to come on here and seek some solace that not all hope is lost. How do you all cope with the disappointment? It’s comforting to know there’s a forum where people will understand and have been through this too. It’s hard to talk to friends with kids about it. This morning I convinced myself this was it and now it’s all crumbled away. AF is a cruel mistress isn’t she, why 5 days late, argh. Sorry I think I just needed to vent to people who will understand as my boyfriend hasn’t a clue. He’s so lovely but he doesn’t understand the aching when you realise another month is unsuccessful. I constantly see pregnant people & desperately want it to be me. I’m also reminded I’m “old” all the time & that adds to the panic. X

Hi @Badlydrawngirl36 I feel your pain!

We have also been try for around 8/9 months, most months I’ve been so sure that it’s finally happening and then it’s not and it’s so frustrating… I’ve had my bestfriend give birth to her third whilst we’ve been trying and it makes me so sad (I’m very happy for her but none of her children have been planned so I get quite resentful😬)

All I want is for us to have a baby and be even happier than we are but I feel like we’re getting nowhere😔x

@Chlo1995 oh darling. Thanks for the reply. Same same same! Doesn't it just feel like every single person is a mum and every advert is for babies and all the songs on the radio have baby in them? Ha. It's so gutting being happy for others when you're feeling sad inside isn't it. It must be hard with your bestie too as you can't show it too much, but I do look at my friends and think "you're so so lucky".

It's the hope, the waiting, more hope when you're late & then crushing defeat...month after month. I've been told to wait a year & then maybe look into things. Eek. Sending you lots of love & luck. I suppose we just keep swimming eh x

Sending both of you baby dust!!!
I’m also late this month and as much as I want to be pregnant, I’m also scared to poas in case it’s negative again. :( This ttc business is soooo hard! We’ve been trying for a year on our first baby and are both 29. My DH’s parents are both quite pushy about us having a baby and it hurts whenever they mention it. 🙄😬

@ I feel this… both our parents are dying for grandchildren and it gets brought up quite often! I feel like just screaming ‘I’m trying’ so they’ll leave us alone but we obviously don’t want people knowing, it’s such a hard position to be in😔x

I'm so with you guys on this. 4 days late when I'm normally a textbook 28day cycle and convinced that this was the month after 15mo of trying. Did 2 tests and both negative.

I'm 36 too @Badlydrawngirl36 so I know that fear.

Sending you all babydust

Aww ladies thanks for your messages, it's really comforting knowing people are going through exactly the same thing.

@lilrosemarie eughhhh I totally get the parent pressure! I'm an only child so my mum is frantically dropping "babies" into conversation at every turn. You feel guilty because you know it's all they want...
I now just roll my eyes and smile & try not to let the pressure get to me, I know stress is bad for these times.
Fingers and toes crossed for you! It takes a lot of guts to do the test, I liked those few days when I could imagine & hope. I guess it is good to know one way or another in the end though.

@Babybelle00 yippee for another 36 years young lady! :) sending you lots of baby dust too. (I've just learnt this term on here hehe, how lovely). Did you take a test? Let us know how you get on.
My cycle has been a bit weird since I came off the pill so now I feel like I can't trust it. Textbook cycles & being late sound like a positive sign. Sending love.

X

No luck @Badlydrawngirl36. AF has arrived. Maybe next month.

Glad you've found out about the baby dust. I think it's sweet!

There's nothing like TTC to stop you trusting your body huh? I am never decide if its made me more in tune or just paranoid and inventing symptoms!

@Babybelle00 awww no😔 fingers crossed for next cycle🤞🏼

I definitely thought I knew my body reasonable well until we decided to start ttc, but now, I definitely don’t have a clue as my cycle ranges so much… I thought I was fairly regular…

Good luck to you all x

@Badlydrawngirl36 do you track ovulation with opks etc ?

@Dreamsofholidays78
I am starting to yes, I have the Clearblue pink sticks & just ordered a thermometer (though I have no idea what am doing with that, or when to start these things - is it day 1 from post period, for how long etc.)
Google is becoming my best friend.

I feel like I spent my 20's and early 30's blissfully unaware of the struggles of CCT.
I wish they had properly taught these things from an early age rather than my educational experience which was all about how NOT to get pregnant!! I feel like I am learning so much now I'm on the journey whereas most of my adult life I've just seen friends having babies left, right and centre without the knowledge of any issues.

X

I know it’s so hard to actually get pregnant isn’t it, compared to when you’re younger and all that misconception about how easy it is, being super careful etc
Cd1 is the day of full flow AF not spotting. Women can ovulate anywhere from cd9 onwards. Doctors always assume it’s cd14/15 which isn’t the case for a lot of us.
That’s why it’s important to monitor ovulation.
The ovulation sticks/opks have a control line and a test line. The test line should be as dark or darker than the control for it to be peak and ovulation will likely occur in the next 24 hours. You should have sex/dtd/bd in the days leading up to ovulation, on the day and the day after.
You can see when ovulation is approaching because you get ewcm normally ( have a google of ovulation signs)
Opks are not a definite sign you have actually ovulated, just that your hormones are showing it’s approaching.
BBT confirms ovulation. Your temperature after ovulation is slightly higher than before ( can’t remember exact figure) three temperatures in a row higher normally shows you ovulated.
A special basal temperature thermometer should be used first thing in the morning ( not allowed to move at all before using it as movement will spike the temperature up and reading will be wrong)
You can input the temperature each day into an app ( I always used fertility friend) this will then show a line ( called crosshairs ) indicating when you ovulated.
You can then track when AF is due from ovulation day ( so 12-14 days later)
Hope that helps
In addition, I’d read it ‘starts with the egg’ for info on supplements to take

@Dreamsofholidays78

Wow thank you SO much for taking the time to send that super advice. That's really useful and I'm very grateful :)
I feel a lot better prepared now! I've ordered It Starts With an Egg, sounds super interesting.
Just need to remember not to move when I wake up haha.

Thanks again xxx

No worries! @Badlydrawngirl36 it took me a long time to learn it all from being on forums myself ! Pm me anytime you have any questions
If you don’t get on with doing morning temperatures ( I never did, they were always erratic for me, probably as I moved to much before) you can buy something called ovusense. It’s a bit expensive but you place it like a tampon in your vagina each night and it takes the average of three temperatures during the night. In the morning you link it to your app and you get a temperature. I found it really worked for me and my temperature readings were a lot more stable.