TTC after two miscarriages - positivity needed

[Rossisfine]

Hi everyone.

I have had two miscarriages now. They started off spotting. This second one the gradual bleeding went on for 1.5 weeks then turned into heavy bleeding. This was late November.

We are TTC again starting this month and I get pregnant easily (grateful for this I know it is hard for some and I'm not meaning to brag or be insensitive here) so I don't think it will be long until I'm pregnant again.

I want of course to be pregnant but at the same time I feel doom when I think about it. I keep picturing seeing blood and going through the whole "is this normal, or is this not normal" charade AGAIN. It was exhausting and I only had a few days of the "woo I'm pregnant" feeling.

Any positivity I had towards pregnancy is lost and although I know I can't possibly KNOW for sure there is something wrong with me, my mind tells me there must be.

I just wondered if anyone has any positive stories or has been through similar. I am looking for some support really.

Thank you.

Sending hugs. I have just had my second miscarriage as well - on Christmas Day 😔 I was 10 weeks pregnant both times. I only just stopped bleeding yesterday and I'm not sure I can go through this again. I'm lucky to have two children so should probably just stop thinking about it and trying (I'm 44 so the likelihood of a positive outcome for me is very small) and just be grateful. But the dream of what could have been is so strong.

I'm not sure what age you are but I just wanted to say that a good friend of mine in her mid 30s had 2 miscarriages in 2020 but went on to have a beautiful baby boy at the end of last year. I hope you have a similar outcome. X

@SuffrinSuckatash thank you so much for your reply. I am SO sorry to hear about your miscarriage, it is awful any time but Christmas! I hope you are coping ok ❤️. Sending hugs to you too.

Just because you have two children doesn’t mean you should minimise your grief or being upset about it. However you feel about it all is valid! Do you think you will try again or are you not ready to think about that?

Thank you for the positive story. I am 31. I had my first mc 4 years ago with a previous partner. I’m hoping it was a freak thing the second one. The doctor said recurrent is 3 miscarriages in 1 year not say 3 total. X

Also I’m so sorry it was 10 weeks for both :( that must have been traumatic.

Thankfully (I said thankfully) mine were earlier on, 4 ish and 6.

Awww thank you @Rossisfine - it definitely didn't turn out to be the Christmas of Dreams. At least it was a natural miscarriage, which (although really horrible) I found a lot less traumatic than the silent miscarriage I had before. It was only discovered at the 12 week scan and I had to have medical management, which was horrible.

I think that, much as I would absolutely love to try again, I don't think we will. I don't want it to consume me - and I know it has the potential to do just that. If I was younger I definitely would but even if things went OK with the pregnancy, there's the worry of other age-related complications.
I think I'll just have to accept that Mother Nature decided a third wasn't for me.

Good luck with everything. I really hope this time goes smoothly for you. ❤

@SuffrinSuckatash certainly not! I’m glad for you that it was natural and I understand as I felt the same. A silent miscarriage is a cruel bloody trick!

You sound to have a very healthy attitude. It definitely does have the potential to consume but please do make sure you take the time to grieve if you need to and to take care of yourself.

I wish you the best and thanks so much for replying. Thank you, fingers crossed x

Hi op I was able to get pregnant fairly easily too but had 4 mcs in a row ( 3 late first trimester) I had my rainbow recently
I have an open mind why. Did all the clotting and other tests which were fine. I did have high killer cells (immune issues) and was on a tonne of meds for this pregnancy. Whether it was those or I just got a good embryo I can never be sure. Pm me if you want any info on meds etc